Mostly a rant
I feel like I must be going out of my mind.
Me and my husband are constantly fighting. He keeps saying it's over the little stuff, but all these little things add up? And I feel exhausted when it's the same thing happening over and over again and he never listens to me.
He spent 4 months after baby was born telling me there was nothing wrong with baby, at nearly 5 months after constant fighting I have a diagnosis for him and it sucks to be right but also I don't know why my husband had to fight me so much and undermine me.
His mum never respects our boundaries and he pretends he doesn't see it rather than get involved in addressing the issue.
Our home is an absolute mess. As in, mould growing in places that don't get cleaned and I try my best to do what I can but birth left me disabled and I have a sick baby to look after all the time. I feel like I shouldn't have to walk him to something, put it in his hands and ask him to take care of it or clean it. I wish he'd just look around and see what needs doing. He also messes up whatever room I've managed to get on top of and it's like having a teenager in the house.
He also keeps doing really stupid things around the baby, like holding him whilst cooking steak and the fat is spitting everywhere or just a few hours ago leaving scissors balancing above our babies head and he keeps saying it's okay because nothing bad happened but surely that's beside the lint you want to try and avoid an accident at all costs?
I know nothing will resolve. I just felt like I needed to express this somewhere because everyone keeps saying he's such a nice guy but don't factor in how having a grown ass baby to look after is killing me.
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Nice guy or not, I’d be giving him an ultimatum. Doesn’t sound like he’s particularly helpful with you or babies needs. Tell him to grow up or get lost. I know it’s easier said than done but if he doesn’t care about you or baby enough to change his childish patterns and behaviours then that would tell me everything I need to know.
You’ll continue to be unhappy with him whilst his behaviours continue
Maybe sit down with him and make a list of what needs doing and divide it up, trying to take the things off each others plates that drive you each crazy. For my husband it was the bottles- it drove him nuts to clean them. At first I told him to grow up but eventually I said I’ll do most all of the bottles if you unload the dishwasher every time. He was so happy and it really helped us. Or if you can afford it, get a housecleaned once a month to do a deep clean so nothing gets too gross. But also just… sorry to hear all that. It’s so frustrating when someone just doesn’t see what needs to be done.
I think you should too talk it out. And you will realize small fights are nothing but due to sleep deprived mind of both of you. but big ones really needs attention as you both equally had this baby it's not just your responsibility especially when you are in postpartum phase. First 6 months are crucial for rest.
Download the Peanut App
