At the point where I’ve had enough! (Mums advice please!!)
I really need some honest advice because I don’t know if I’m finally at the point of leaving or just completely drained.
I’ve been with my partner for years and we have two children, including a 4-month-old. I’ve been trying to tell him for months, even years, how unhappy and lonely I feel, but nothing ever changes. I keep having the same conversations and eventually end up feeling like I’m begging for the bare minimum.
Over the last month I’ve completely lost trust in him. He’s constantly got his eyes on other women when we’re out, he’s been lusting over other women, watching porn behind my back, looking at women on social media and I’ve found things on his phone that have really hurt me. I don’t have proof he’s physically cheated, but I don’t trust him anymore.
Yesterday I wore a thick vest-style top with no bra. Because my boobs are bigger, it wasn’t particularly revealing, but he told me he wasn’t going out with me dressed like that because other men would look at me and he felt it was disrespectful. He basically said if I didn’t change, he’d rather I went out on my own. Yet I’m constantly watching him look at other women when we’re out. That double standard really gets to me.
Since having the baby I’ve struggled with my body, and all of this has made me feel like I’m not enough.
He’s not affectionate with me at all anymore. No cuddling, kissing, compliments or real effort to make me feel wanted. He’s either on his phone, vaping, going to bed or doing his own thing. I’ve also had some really nasty arguments with him where he’s spoken to me horribly, sometimes in front of our child.
I’ve had the kids most of the week and when I ask for help, it can turn into an argument. I feel incredibly lonely. I love my children more than anything, but being with them all day and then feeling like I have nobody to actually connect with when he comes home is really getting to me.
The worst part is I think I’ve fallen out of love with him.
We went to the cinema and for a drink recently and I was just bored. We had sex afterwards and although I was really in the mood beforehand, once we actually did it I felt completely emotionally checked out. I felt nothing.
Now I’m literally arguing with him to spend time with me. Today I suggested doing something as a family and he just wants to stay home.
I’m starting to think that even if there isn’t someone else, I don’t want this relationship anymore.
Am I finally seeing that this relationship isn’t right for me, or am I just exhausted and hurt?
Be brutally honest, mums. Would you stay and try to repair this, or would you walk away?
Am I wrong for kicking off?
I’m so stressed, so emotional, so overwhelmed and so ready to pop! I’m 39 weeks today and I honestly am so fed up. With everything and everyone. I’m doing this whole thing alone, and feel so isolated and like no one cares 😒
Relationship with baby’s dad broke down; he said he would be there for me but isn’t really interested. He lives a good few hours away from me and has said he wants to be present for birth but due to him not being around or there for me during pregnancy, I’m in 2 minds whether to even let him know when I go into labour. That’s if if he even makes it to the hospital in time. (Don’t know if I’m being spiteful here.)
My family have also been a joke. Barely been there for me, so going to scans and appointments etc I’m always alone. Which is hard when I see people at the appointments with at least someone.
Things have been strained with my mum, since forever so we’re up and down most times. However, I’ve got to give her credit. These last couple weeks I’ve had to have extra scans due to docs being worried about baby’s weight/reduced movements etc. and my mum has given me a lift to the hospital so has helped in that aspect.
I’m now a week from giving birth and aware that I’ve still got loads to do/things still need to be bought etc. Very overwhelming!!
I have realised I need a Moses basket for downstairs and buying one outright for over £100 is quite expensive.. so I’ve looked on fb marketplace and found a cheapish one, good condition, collection 11 miles away.
I have asked mother dearest if she’ll take me to collect the item on Monday if I give her some petrol money. She has said it’s too far for her to drive and refuses to help me. (I don’t drive) But I’m confused as when my sister was sent to jail earlier in the year, she was happy to drive 6 hours to London to go visit her in jail. She drives miles to take her partner to funerals for random people but I’m asking for her help (for a journey 11miles away) as her daughter for an item for her granddaughter and she is refusing to help.
So I’ve said a few words to her last night as I don’t think it’s fair she goes above and beyond for everyone else but for me, she can never help out and now we are not talking again. Am I wrong for this?
Please can I get peoples thoughts as I’m going out my mind.
Struggling with 21 month old.
Really struggling right now with my 21 month old and his behaviour. Everything’s a battle or a game for him to mess around and laugh at.
Changing his pull up is an absolute nightmare and normally gets shit everywhere, dressing him is a nightmare. Doing anything is a bloody nightmare. Doesn’t help he’s in the “I want mum to do everything phase” as well so I have to deal with everything or he has a fit if dad helps.
I’ve tried everything it says online. Get on Their level, ask once and follow through, give options, remain calm and boring and don’t react, and it makes no difference whatsoever.
I’m sick of the same battles everyday, I hate getting up in the morning just to do the same things and have the same battles over and over again. I’m exhausted, overwhelmed and most days end up in tears.
It feels stupid that a child is literally getting the best of me but I suffer with my mental health anyway and have had struggles ever since he was born, but this is by far the worst stage so far and I don’t know how much longer I can keep my cool. I feel like I’m either going to explode at him or have a break down and he’s not even 2 yet! (Terrible twos and all that)
I know it’s normal behaviour blah blah blah, but how the hell do people cope and keep going day in and day out!? I just need to rant a bit I suppose and get some support from people in a similar situation.
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