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First time mums

At the point where I’ve had enough! (Mums advice please!!)

I really need some honest advice because I don’t know if I’m finally at the point of leaving or just completely drained.

I’ve been with my partner for years and we have two children, including a 4-month-old. I’ve been trying to tell him for months, even years, how unhappy and lonely I feel, but nothing ever changes. I keep having the same conversations and eventually end up feeling like I’m begging for the bare minimum.

Over the last month I’ve completely lost trust in him. He’s constantly got his eyes on other women when we’re out, he’s been lusting over other women, watching porn behind my back, looking at women on social media and I’ve found things on his phone that have really hurt me. I don’t have proof he’s physically cheated, but I don’t trust him anymore.

Yesterday I wore a thick vest-style top with no bra. Because my boobs are bigger, it wasn’t particularly revealing, but he told me he wasn’t going out with me dressed like that because other men would look at me and he felt it was disrespectful. He basically said if I didn’t change, he’d rather I went out on my own. Yet I’m constantly watching him look at other women when we’re out. That double standard really gets to me.

Since having the baby I’ve struggled with my body, and all of this has made me feel like I’m not enough.

He’s not affectionate with me at all anymore. No cuddling, kissing, compliments or real effort to make me feel wanted. He’s either on his phone, vaping, going to bed or doing his own thing. I’ve also had some really nasty arguments with him where he’s spoken to me horribly, sometimes in front of our child.

I’ve had the kids most of the week and when I ask for help, it can turn into an argument. I feel incredibly lonely. I love my children more than anything, but being with them all day and then feeling like I have nobody to actually connect with when he comes home is really getting to me.

The worst part is I think I’ve fallen out of love with him.

We went to the cinema and for a drink recently and I was just bored. We had sex afterwards and although I was really in the mood beforehand, once we actually did it I felt completely emotionally checked out. I felt nothing.

Now I’m literally arguing with him to spend time with me. Today I suggested doing something as a family and he just wants to stay home.

I’m starting to think that even if there isn’t someone else, I don’t want this relationship anymore.

Am I finally seeing that this relationship isn’t right for me, or am I just exhausted and hurt?

Be brutally honest, mums. Would you stay and try to repair this, or would you walk away?