Relationship issues

Hello! My partner complains we do get to do stuff for ourselves anymore and that it isn’t “normal”.

Do you let your partner do things by himself while you look after the baby? And then the other way round ?

Many thanks !

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Yes all the time… we both go to the gym. Go out with friends etc..
everyone needs a break

Not as much as before and it's a lot harder cause we don't have family around to help out but we take turns, for example to go to the gym.

Yes, we make space for each other to do stuff on our own but it's definitely much less than pre-kids. I make space for my husband to go off on a silly bike adventure for a couple of days from time to time because it keeps him sane. He makes space for me to go to the gym because it's what keeps me sane. We also try our best to do stuff together without the kids but that sadly happens much less often.
I think it is very "normal" to put kids first when they are so small, and in the grand scheme of things it's just a season!

100%, we do things separately all the time. He goes golf. I go out with my friends or go shopping (mainly baby clothes shopping these days 😂). He goes out with his friends, like he went to the f1 arcade last Friday evening. It looks different now, he was home by 11 and drove so didnt drink but still had a good time.
We both work from home so its important for us to spend some time apart or we would be together 24/7

Yes, we both do! We each have a child-free day where the other parent takes the lead, but it’s not rigid. if either of us needs support, we step in. For example, Saturday is technically my partner’s child-free day, but I have Pilates, so he looks after our son while I go.
Outside of that, we both still make time during the week for things like the gym and just work around each other.
I don’t think either of us has quite as much freedom to do our own thing as we did before having a child (my partner probably feels this more 😂), but that’s naturally changed. We just try to make sure we both still get regular time for ourselves while also being flexible when the other person needs support. It works really well for us.

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I don’t know if it’s just me, but since having my baby 15 weeks ago, I’ve noticed I’m now a bit “slow”, where I can’t figure out things I used to be able to. I used to be the one who fixes things, a DIY queen, could figure anything out, but now I feel like my brain just doesn’t work the way it used to! I literally don’t baby wear, because I have no clue how to do the straps and buckles on my carrier which is something I would have known how to do before baby. I have to ask my hubby for help with the straps and buckles or I can’t figure it out (even with videos!).

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I know they say your brain shrinks by 60% during pregnancy, but I didn’t know it would be so blatant and obvious. Anyone else dealing with this?? Should I be worried?? Does it eventually go away??