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Step Mamas 🇬🇧

Question

So I have a question but I’ll give you some background information first.
My SD just turn 3 in June. Since she was 8 months old she’s come to us every Wednesday night and stayed with us till Thursday evening. Recently her mother has text my partner about an hour before drop off saying “oh she wants to stay here tonight she doesn’t want to come” but then when it’s our weekend I’ve heard her say countless times when she gets dropped off on the Friday “sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do”

Baring In mind she’s 3. Should her coming to her fathers be an option at that age?

My partner and I suspect it’s bio mum just being a little lazy on not wanting to drop her off. Specifically because every time my SD conveniently wants to stay home bio mum has asked my partner if hes at work. (my partner works 5 minutes from her house so she’s trying to get him to pick her up instead of her driving 15 minutes to us to drop her off ) and it never seems to happen on our weekends it only happens on Wednesday nights to Thursdays.

Personally I don’t think a choice like that should be put into a child’s hands till they’re at least 11/12 ish as a 3 year old could not want to go somewhere because they’re really enjoying playing with a toy or watching something. Where as an older child can say why they don’t want to.

My partner comes from a separated family and he was made to go to and from till he was an adult(give or take a year)

I also come from a separated family and I stopped seeing my father at 12 and explained to my mother why.

Circling back to my question being:

Should her coming to her fathers be an option at that age?

I’m not saying she should never be given an option but factoring in her age.

I just want some outsider perspective