Abandoned

I grew up with a kinda distant mom and when I met my husband, his mom was such a warm "mommy" type of mom. She was a SAHM for her 3 kids and did all the mom things etc. She is from another country and over the years we have paid her rent back home and supported her as she didn't have a job and has lupus. When I was pregnant, she was so excited because it's her first grandchild. She said she wanted to live with us full time and help with the baby which was a dream come true for me. I did all her paperwork and got her her greencard and got her a job with my mom and got her health insurance etc. Long story short, I SET HER UP WITH A DREAM LIFE. I have always supported her emotionally and anything she needed, I would help her get. If she wanted to plan for her future or had a certain goal, I would create budgets for her or help her plan so she could reach her goals.

After i had the baby and our night nurse was done and we were really relying on her so I could go back to work, Little by little she became complacent and distant and would fight with my husband (which in her defense, he can be grumpy and roll his eyes and do that kind of super annoying semi disrespectful stuff). She would threaten to leave which was so stressful for me.

I would cry to her and explain that I was the breadwinner and I HAD TO work so that our mortgage could get paid and that we couldn't afford childcare and I showed her the numbers etc. I also tried to explain that she couldn't afford to live on her own here. (She has never lived on her own and really doesn't understand what is needed for her to do that or what I need to do to support our family and household. She would agree to stay and then it would start all over again a week or so later.

One day, I came home from work and she was gone, she had secretly found and rented a room and left (without any of her things and then made my husband pack her stuff and bring it to her)... I had 2 days to try and find childcare. I couldn't cover 2 of my evenings at work for the first week and I ended up getting fired because "I couldn't do my job without reliable childcare." Because I lost my job, I lost the HELOC i was just approved for so we could expand my son's tiny bedroom and create our forever home. My whole life has been completely upended and there is no getting it back.

She hasn't spoken to me in months. She keeps asking my husband to see my son and I just can't do it. I'm so deeply hurt. I can't do it.

Am I wrong here?

in our community

Argument over house bills left me feeling like a shitty mum

Long story but short rant. Due to move into our first we bought together. I’m on maternity leave. He brings home 3k alone without commission. I’m entitled for suggesting the idea of combining wages. Paying the house bills alone out of it. Splitting what’s left to keep for ourselves and to pay our own bills out of that. So one person wasn’t left without for the whole month while the other has double left for the whole month. No one would ever be in a worse position than the other. It worked out we’d both have the same a month. Even if we didn’t do it that way and he paid the majority of the bills he’d still be left with what he would have if wages was combined anyway. But apparently im entitled. I had the baby in my arms when I raised my voice. He made me feel like a shit mum for raising my voice with baby in my hand whilst he was only on the couch 1 meter away raising his voice. If you earn more than someone else I’d like to think you’d want to contribute more where the other person can’t? If the household expidenture wasn’t so high and I have my own bills and he doesn’t then obviously I’d go 50/50. Didn’t think I was asking for much. He “shouldn’t pay more for having the ‘better job’ “

Heyyy!

Hi! My name is carrigan. Im 22 and a stay at home mom. Im looking to make some mom friends who are down to earth and not judgemental. I have a 4yr old son and planning on having another baby soon. Im engaged to my wonderful partner parker. I have 2 cats and a dog. I am very open and honest. I love pizza and mexican food. I can be antisocial but once you get to know me im very friendly and open. I love going on walks when it's not to hot. Ask me anything 😊

Birth plans & postpartum care

I’m 37 weeks today and feel like I don’t have a good enough idea of a birth plan. How is everyone else getting along with it?

Also, what’s everyone got for postpartum care? I have a few packs of postpartum pants, pads and a peri bottle but that’s about it. Do I need much else?

Any reassurance appreciated!

I apologise for the long post I just don’t know how to feel and think I need some clarity. For reference we have a 3 month old who was born 8 weeks premature and a nearly 3 year old. Pregnancy with my second was absolutely awful, I had loads of issues and pretty much stayed in hospital for the 2 months before he was born. Getting pregnant was an accident and I knew from the start my partner didn’t want another child but I also knew I definitely couldn’t go through with an abortion so I told him I would understand if he wanted to leave but I was going to be keeping the baby. We broke up briefly quite early on in pregnancy but he came back saying that he’d stay and have the baby with me.

We started off okay but once the health issues started he told me every day I should’ve just “gotten rid of the thing” and since baby’s been here it’s only gotten worse. He’s always telling me he still wants to put him up for adoption etc. Baby doesn’t sleep well at all and quite often I’ll be up every half an hour with him. My partner won’t get up with him and tells me I wanted the baby so it’s my problem. A couple weeks ago I was up with the baby and hadn’t slept in a couple of days, I was crying and he told me to be quiet so he could sleep. I’m a SAHM and he earns the money. I’m always allowed things I ask for but I don’t have any access to money and when I’ve asked about it he says that he earns it so it’s his not mine. He keeps telling me that when he leaves me I’ll have nothing, and yesterday told me that it’s probably because I have post partum depression that I annoy him because I’m not the person he fell in love with but I feel like I can’t come out of that if I’m constantly having no sleep and being so busy during the day with two kids, house work etc. He’ll make comments about my weight after having the baby but now he’s started being quite mean to my toddler and I just can’t see how I can raise two lovely boys if their roll model is being so horrible all of the time. I love him, he was so lovely when we met I just don’t know what’s happened I just think for the sake of my boys I need to leave but I feel so trapped in my situation.

Besties? SoCal

Hey everyone I’m Mia. Im a 25 yo single mama who still likes to do fun stuff. If you’re down for picnics, theme parks, play dates, turning up a little here and there 👀🥂, indoor playgrounds, coffee dates, walks, & the gym hmu.

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