Argument over house bills left me feeling like a shitty mum
Long story but short rant. Due to move into our first we bought together. I’m on maternity leave. He brings home 3k alone without commission. I’m entitled for suggesting the idea of combining wages. Paying the house bills alone out of it. Splitting what’s left to keep for ourselves and to pay our own bills out of that. So one person wasn’t left without for the whole month while the other has double left for the whole month. No one would ever be in a worse position than the other. It worked out we’d both have the same a month. Even if we didn’t do it that way and he paid the majority of the bills he’d still be left with what he would have if wages was combined anyway. But apparently im entitled. I had the baby in my arms when I raised my voice. He made me feel like a shit mum for raising my voice with baby in my hand whilst he was only on the couch 1 meter away raising his voice. If you earn more than someone else I’d like to think you’d want to contribute more where the other person can’t? If the household expidenture wasn’t so high and I have my own bills and he doesn’t then obviously I’d go 50/50. Didn’t think I was asking for much. He “shouldn’t pay more for having the ‘better job’ “
Read more on PeanutThe views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
So he doesn't want to combine your money? How does he want the bills to be paid? Sorry for asking I just didn't quite get it xx
Most people would split bills rent/mortgage etc fairly. Ie if one earns £1000 and the other earns £500 (simplified figures) then the higher earner pays 66% and the lower earner pays 33% and whats left of your own individual income is yours to keep. As someone without their own income, I think asking him for half of all his expendable income is more than most would expect
Jesus you aren’t being an arse at all! What a tit how selfish does he want to be :( I’m so sorry lovely!! If he only wants to contribute what he wants, I’d contribute nowt, as that’s all I want to contribute if he’s gunna be a dickhead xx
1) you raised your voice to fight for yourself and your baby. It’s a very scary and vulnerable position to be in when you’re making different amount.
2) You’re a family. All the money in the house is all the money in the house - regardless who makes it. There is only 1 pot. It should all go in one pot.
3) it’s not funny but ask him how much he’s going to pay you for raising your child…
Money is always a tricky thing to manage in a relationship as everyone has different views on this. It’s also difficult when financial situations change.
It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation.
Prior to having our son I was on a full paid teacher salary with an additional 2 nights of tutoring. We used to split all bills 50/50 as we both earned a similar amount. My partner still earned more than me at this time but he would pay for meals and days out/holidays etc.
Now I am working 1 day as a teacher and tutoring 2 nights a week. We no longer split bills 50/50. I now only pay for my personal bills, weekly food shop and any additional items or activities for my toddler such as classes or days out with mum friends. He covers all other bills as he is earning much more than me now, partly due to me working less but he has also has a promotion since then.
This means we still have our own money and pay certain bills/ expenses.
It also sounds like you are a great mum!
Download the Peanut App
