Abandoned
I grew up with a kinda distant mom and when I met my husband, his mom was such a warm "mommy" type of mom. She was a SAHM for her 3 kids and did all the mom things etc. She is from another country and over the years we have paid her rent back home and supported her as she didn't have a job and has lupus. When I was pregnant, she was so excited because it's her first grandchild. She said she wanted to live with us full time and help with the baby which was a dream come true for me. I did all her paperwork and got her her greencard and got her a job with my mom and got her health insurance etc. Long story short, I SET HER UP WITH A DREAM LIFE. I have always supported her emotionally and anything she needed, I would help her get. If she wanted to plan for her future or had a certain goal, I would create budgets for her or help her plan so she could reach her goals.
After i had the baby and our night nurse was done and we were really relying on her so I could go back to work, Little by little she became complacent and distant and would fight with my husband (which in her defense, he can be grumpy and roll his eyes and do that kind of super annoying semi disrespectful stuff). She would threaten to leave which was so stressful for me.
I would cry to her and explain that I was the breadwinner and I HAD TO work so that our mortgage could get paid and that we couldn't afford childcare and I showed her the numbers etc. I also tried to explain that she couldn't afford to live on her own here. (She has never lived on her own and really doesn't understand what is needed for her to do that or what I need to do to support our family and household. She would agree to stay and then it would start all over again a week or so later.
One day, I came home from work and she was gone, she had secretly found and rented a room and left (without any of her things and then made my husband pack her stuff and bring it to her)... I had 2 days to try and find childcare. I couldn't cover 2 of my evenings at work for the first week and I ended up getting fired because "I couldn't do my job without reliable childcare." Because I lost my job, I lost the HELOC i was just approved for so we could expand my son's tiny bedroom and create our forever home. My whole life has been completely upended and there is no getting it back.
She hasn't spoken to me in months. She keeps asking my husband to see my son and I just can't do it. I'm so deeply hurt. I can't do it.
Am I wrong here?
