facing eviction because of him.
my partner has anger issues. i’ve dealt with them and wanted to leave many times because of them (and infidelity). but i’ve given him chance after chance, thinking things will be different. after his blow ups he’ll apologize and i’ll think we came to a conclusion. but then he’ll rehash it, throwing everything out the window. he wants me to quit breastfeeding our 17 month old. so i’ve started the weaning process for him. what he proposed i follow was not working for us, so i told him and said im following a different schedule that will work better for me and our daughter and after a few fights he decided he was ok with that. but a few nights ago when i got home from work at 10pm, our daughter was in bed with him which is fine. but she woke up so i was breastfeeding her back to sleep so we could all just go to sleep. he freaked out. pulled her off my breast. started SCREAMING in my face telling me im harming her development and it’s bad for her. i told him its late, im tired, we can talk about this tomorrow. he refused. he started escalating it. turning the lights on, knocking shit off of our dresser, shattered a glass on the floor. throwing her toys. taking her from me and locking me out of the room. making a huge scene for HOURS! i said please she needs to go to sleep stop keeping her up because of this. and he said it’s my fault that she’s up because i want my baby back and won’t leave them be. he ordered me to clean up the mess he made. before he finally laid down in her room with her and got her to sleep at around 1am. the next day i received an email from our leasing office. they received noise complaints and realized my partner is living here while not on the lease. he has terrible credit and renter history so it had to be under my name only. they said he can’t live here and must find somewhere else to stay. that if they receive one more complaint or that he hasn’t left i’ll be evicted. now i’m in an impossible situation. he’s apologized and says he wants to make a plan to keep him from blowing up again and he’ll park is car elsewhere and not come in through the front door. but i don’t feel optimistic anymore. i feel like he’s going to fuck up again and then my name will be ruined. i don’t want to make him sleep somewhere else because i feel that will be hard for him, that and how will they know if he’s still there if he really does keep quiet and lay low? but part of me feels that they will find out. idk what to do. i need to reset my nervous system i feel like im in fight or flight permanently.
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THIS IS ABUSE.....AND YOU NEED TO WORK ON AN EXIT STRATEGY
PLEASE START RECORDING HIM
I’m so sorry ur going thru this bt so many obvious things are happening & u need to take some steps. First of all, Please decenter ur baby daddy. Ur doing too much for this grown man who doesn’t care abt u. He is just using u. He doesn’t respect u. He has found the fool in u. He is a grown man and he needs to be able to handle life on his own, so please stop worrying abt his “well being” cuz he will be okay, please start thinking abt urself. U need peace especially in this motherhood journey. U and ur partner have created patterns that will be impossible to break. Ya’ll are both used to the cycles of “wanting” to leave & giving him chance after chance and accepting his infedilities. Not only does this man proven that he doesn’t love by his actions bt he also doesn’t respect or care. I’m not sure if he even likes u, so please ask urself why ur willing to abandon urself for a man who wouldn’t do the same. He doesn’t deserve u, to be ur partner or to be a father. Ur being love bombed
I agree record things. Document it to the police. You might also he able to contact the national domestic abuse helpline or a local one. They can help plan an exit strategy, or help you remove him from the property. Im in the UK and they can help remove him from the property. Not sure about where you are. Ive recently left an emotional/mentally abusive relationship. If you want to talk you can. It can help to message someone you trust after things have happened so you have documented them. Get them to save the message and then you can delete it to keep yourself safe.
If you have any questions but don't want to privately message me you can message on here and ill try to help you the best i can.
This is the hardest thing you will ever have to decide. But you have to do whatever you have to to keep you and your baby safe. If you aren't 100% sure you want to leave, wait and buy your time. If you aren't 100% then you might go back and that is sometimes worse and the abuse can get worse.
You are stronger than you think. You got this beautiful x
Sorry you need to leave or kick him out permanently. Contact domestic abuse. This is really going to damage your daughter as well as you. He WILL NOT change. How he is treating you is disgusting, next he will be hitting you! You have given him chance after chance, enough is enough!! Also why should you lose your home because of him? Your name is on the lease. Contact the police if he won't leave. Change the locks
He is manipulating u. Ur in danger girl, ur sleeeping with the enemy. Ur in a n abusive relationship. Self preservation is keys u need to create boundaries and start thinking of an exit plan. He is going to continue to treat u like a doormat, and “ordering” u around, ur baby needs to see parents that are happy. Ur problem is that man, so please get rid of that man. Choose urself, if u don’t know how to do it for urself be strong and brave enough to do it for ur baby! They are watching u
PLEASE leave him!!! you are in danger & your sweet baby is in danger! kick him out & tell your landlord so hes banned from the property! file a police report. please take care of yourself you will be so much better off without him 💜
I think at this point your livelihood and having a roof over your head for you and baby girl is probably more important than your relationship with him. Especially when he puts all of that at risk because he doesn't know how to handle his anger. Doing all that in front of the baby is even worse and he also needs to do a little research on breastfeeding because he's dead wrong! Ultimately it's your decision but make sure you choose the right one for you it's okay to be selfish in this situation.
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