My partner got laid off a few months ago, 2-3 maybe I’m not sure honestly. I started to work over time and make sure to never call out. I do all the cleaning, the laundry, bath time, and feeding (2yo daughter). I know part of it has been my fault. I own that I’m messy and struggle to keep up with a lot of the clutter. I’ve been working really hard to declutter and get rid of junk and to keep cleaning regularly. These are my flaws I own. I know I’m not perfect and I’ve told him I’m trying to be better in where I fall short, but I feel like it’s just me. I don’t feel I’m getting help and I was begging and begging for help recently. I’ve been so overwhelmed that I cry all the time and have constant anxiety. Idk I let so much of it slide bc I know it’s not just he doesn’t want to help it’s that I am in a continuous cycle I need to fix bc even if he wasn’t here I’d be in a similar spot as I have adhd and depression and I avoid stressors which once those chore piles up stress me. Anyway, why I’m posting… I’ve been sharing how I feel, working hard, stressing, I just walked by his computer and he is gambling. Gambling. While he is unemployed. While I am so stressed and working full time and doing everything. It hurt. I know it’s his money but we have a daughter. He won’t get unemployment forever and him using what little he does get to gamble hurts me. He has always hid how much money he has while I am very open about it and I think it has recently changed part of how I view him. Like I need to be cautious. He always says we just get a joint account but I don’t know I feel comfortable doing that if he can’t ever tell me how much money he has and to use it responsibly. And I know again I’m not perfect, I impulse buy things sometimes but it’s usually stuff that gets used in the end, clothes for our daughter, something for the house, a snack or a redbull. Idk…. I just needed to vent partially and see if I’m just dramatic or if I should try to talk to him about it
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No you're not being dramatic. He should be doing the majority of the house chores. What does he do all day if he is unemployed? X

Girl you aren't being dramatic enough. Why are you go in the post say it's your fault this and that. No it's not your fault.

Nope not dramatic! I'd be upset and angry

So he’s using his unemployment govt money to gamble? You’re not angry enough! 😤
Also the fact he is secretive with how much he earns is a massive red flag. For all you know he could be in a huge amount of debt and also have a gambling addiction. You have no idea who you are sleeping next to.
I would be laying down some serious ultimatums here. He needs to find a job, ANY job, immediately. You need to see copies of his bank statements to see just how much he has been spending on gambling. You also want to know going forward how much he earns. All gambling sites will be blocked access on laptops and phones. He starts doing everything around the house since he’s unemployed including all cooking, cleaning and childcare. He needs to make himself useful since he’s not working.
Set deadlines and check in on him weekly to see how things are going with his job search/house duties. He needs to step up and be a man, or be gone, because otherwise you just have another child on your hands.

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