Is making your husband dinner part of being a stay at home Mum?
Iām a stay at home Mum, my partner works 06:00 - 18:00 most days. Whilst he is at work Iām trying to manage the house, look after my toddler the best I can, take her to groups etc. I feel like my responsibilities include house management and my toddler, and sometimes dinner does not fit into this due to time restraints and I will give my toddler a āsnack plateā type meal. He feels like dinner is an expectation and part of my āroleā as a stay at home parent.
He will typically cook on Saturday, but every other day it is deemed as my responsibility. Thoughts on this?
I donāt think my BD is my person and Iām terrified
We met a few years ago and got pregnant about 6 months into dating unintentionally. But when i was pregnant we were still doing good and everything was fine. However, I feel like post partum everything feels different. He doesnāt really talk to me about much anything, I donāt feel like heās attracted to me since gaining pregnancy weight, he makes snooty comments about money and how I need to pay off my student and car debts before he would marry because heās not marrying debt (everything in his life was fully funded by his parents who seem to always come before me). And maybe my biggest beef is he just isnāt that into being a dad. Heās attached to his phone 24/7 even when our son is trying to get his attention and it really just grosses me out. How can you not want to interact with this hilarious little man? He doesnāt do activities with us like go on any outings, the pool, the zoo, etc. I just go alone. My sons not missing out on life on his account.
All of that to say I am so confused and terrified and I donāt know what to do. I am heartbroken and terrified of the idea of my son having split parents. I never wanted that. But I also donāt feel like we are the right match at all.
Iāve tried talking to him about the things that I donāt like or that feel hurtful to me and he goes on the defensive. Ive brought up therapy (i go every 2-4 weeks) and he said āwhy would you even ask me that? Because Iām just the f***ed up one and need therapy because IM the problem?ā I donāt know what else to do but my soul hurts a little more every day. Heās not always terrible we have some good times but our priorities and wants donāt feel aligned at all for what our life looks like.
Has anyone been there? Do you regret staying so long? Do you regret leaving? Is your baby still fine and happy with separate homes? Do they mature at all and it gets better? Our son is 18 months.
How do you deal with friends who spend money like thereās no tomorrow but complain daily that they canāt afford food?
Like seriously expensive days out regularly, including buying souvenirs, eating at the not-cheap restaurant there, paying for entry, parking, extras, then paying monthly instalments for holidays, on top of having countless unnecessary things on finance, buying everything tesco finest and m&s and looking down on shops like Aldi.
Then when I invite them to a free day day out at a community fete where itās free entry free games free face painting etc they tell me they canāt afford to come and are worried about covering the next food shop. I know itās not an excuse and they are genuinely struggling but also itās pretty obvious why theyāre struggling š
Am I wrong for wanting my husband to back me up with his daughter?
My 9 year old stepdaughter is becoming quite the challenge. She is very rough with my 14 month old and Iām constantly telling her to stop doing things that could hurt my toddler. Yesterday, my toddler did what toddlers do and playfully hit my SD & her reaction was to headbutt my toddler. I corrected her immediately. We had guests over when it occurred and they just looked at me like woah that was crazy. After they left, I mentioned it to my husband in front of sd and she responded āno you saw wrongā to which my husband pretty much just shrugged and said nothing. I replied Iām not about to do this and got up to walk away since itās absolutely disrespectful of a child to basically call me a liar at something I witnessed.
While I was upset my husband looked at me and said say something to her, which is what I was doing when I mentioned it.
Am I wrong for feeling like the moment she tried to say I saw wrong was when he shouldāve stepped in to correct her and set her straight? He ended up doing so only after he and I argued about it.
Itās almost as though he just wants me to parent her and thatās not cool. I have my own bio son who is 14 and would never allow him to think itās ok to lie and disrespect my husband. He thinks itās because he bonds with him more than I bond with her. But itās like no, Iāve parented him to know better. And I do bond with her. I do her hair, I just bought her a period kit to bring to school just in case as she said her peers have started theirs. But itās truly hard for me to get close to her since sheās constantly lying about things I see her doing, doesnāt listen and makes me repeat myself a million times and is unsafe towards my toddler.
Itās creating a wedge in my marriage and I truly feel the drift.
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