I snapped at my husband
I have a toddler and am pregnant 7 ish weeks. I’ve been up since 5am as toddler woke early and then did a four hour round trip commute to work. So feeling pretty knackered. Picked up toddler on way home and husband asked if he could work on. I was kind of hoping to relax for 10 mins as have been feeling nauseous today but said okay.
Got home and the kitchen was a state, dishwasher hadn’t been emptied, high chair dirty from breakfast, dishes everywhere and food on the floor from breakfast. My heart sank.
I started feeding him. About 6pm he said 10 more minutes. It was another 30 until he stopped working. I snapped. (We very rarely argue). I said he was way longer than he said he’d be and he said what difference did it make as I was feeding our son. I said the kitchen is a state and now I’ll have to start cleaning.
He was WFH today. He said he didn’t have time to do anything, he didn’t take a lunch break. When I WFH I keep on top of the house and often stick dinner in the slow cooker. I know I can empty the dishwasher in the time the kettle boils so I don’t buy he couldn’t do anything. He said do you want me to stop working to start cleaning, I was like yeah.
I feel he prioritises work so much. I pick up the slack as it stresses me out having a messy kitchen (I don’t have particularly high standards but hate dishes in the sink so I can’t use it etc). I already do all of the laundry and most of the cleaning.
He ended up spending 40 minutes cleaning the kitchen. Kitchen looks great. He’s really pissed off with me. Thoughts?
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I feel you, it must be really tough to be pregnant and to have a toddler while also working and having to keep the house clean 😱 I would snap too.
I don’t know your husband, but I can imagine he genuinely had a tough day too (you’ve mentioned no lunch break and having to work late).
I see two tired parents that need some help.
I’d consider minimizing the household chores if that’s possible (get a cleaner/ order boxes of planned meals/ ask parents to come help …) and if this situation isn’t something that happens all the time, I’d just let it go. However if all or most of the household chores are on you, that’s a different story and the two of you should talk about how to make it easier on you x
I understand how you feel but think it's a bit unreasonable. Working from home is still working, if he was in an office you wouldn't expect him to do any of that. If he has needed to work late and he didn't even take lunch I suspect his day has been intense and he's exhausted too. You're both knackered, give yourselves both some grace
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