Husband doesn't see house work as work...

I'm very pregnant and pretty sick, GD and hypertension and macrosomia, and huge and in a lot of pain. My husband quit his job about a month ago to start a business but then the landlord wanted to redo the floors before we got in there so it is taking longer without him being able to be physically present, though we both have been very active in setting up things like vendors and bank accounts and websites and social media. If anything I'm doing more of that than he is, trying to contribute what I can sitting down.

My husband complains constantly about how he's not built for sitting around all day. Meanwhile he's not interested in helping supervise our toddler and the house is an absolute wreck and laundry is sitting in the machines for days because I can't physically handle much and I'm not supposed to anyway. While he lays around whining there's no work to do and watches me work on the computer while he plays chess online.

When I get too exhausted from trying to do everything and ask him for a nap he engages my son in the loudest possible play, bouncing dodgeballs as hard as he can off the walls and banging as loud as possible on the piano.

He also occasionally lets his frustrations out and says things like "Are you fucking stupid?" to me in front of our son.

I am financially trapped and have nowhere to go, not that I could physically get up and go with my toddler anyway right now. But I wish I could.

in our community

Girls would you be annoyed if your partner was like this.

Ok so I need advice. I have been with my boyfriend 8 months. And we have been out for dinner like 2 times. Never been for lunch. He always says how tight for money he is. It’s ALWAYS me making plans. I even messaged him the other day saying can we have a date night on Friday night and even stated it can be anything just some quality time together etc. and he said oh don’t think I could this weekend it’s my sons birthday and I’m taking him away for the day. Which is completely fine but I’m off work on Saturday why can’t I also go? Or at least be Invited. He went to a concert 2 weeks ago and told me he spent 100 pound yet if I was to suggest going to a concert he would say no. I also want to go on holiday or atleast go to a city break at the end of September as I am off work for 8 days and my daughter who is 6 is going on holiday for a week with her dad. So I am literally free and will really miss my daughter but he says he doesn’t think he will be able to afford it. Yet this man works 5 days a week 7am-5pm above the minimum wage he could definitly save. Or I even suggested paying for most of it because it’s his birthday soon. Should I talk to him face to face and ask why he never plans anything with me?

Child care cost UK

4 days a week, 1 child is around £1500.

With 30 hours government assistance for working parents. We pay £850.

I couldn't figure out why for the past year I have felt broke all the time.

It just hit me today, it's these darn nursery fees.

If you work a 9 to 5 and send your kid to nursery in the UK are your feed similar or am I over paying?

It's crazy to think you go to work, to pay for someone to look after your child.

Would you leave your children aged 5&3 with your mil and go abroad on a holiday for 4 nights?

5 year old had sleepovers previously but 3 year old never did.

I asked my husband to ask his mum first, to see her opinion but he is asking me I should make my mind up first, which is right?

Really worried and disheartened about food

My baby is almost 8 months old, and we have been giving her solids since 5 months.

Started with purées, and in the last month or so started with finger foods.

She is having two meals a day on top of her usual bottles, and we are trying with a mix of sachets and finger foods. For example we’ll give her something spread on toast, with a bit of banana and Greek yoghurt, or broccoli, egg and half a pouch.

She only seems to be interested in picking up food herself, but can’t do it with spoons yet, and it ends up that she has hardly anything of any meal we give her. When I say hardly anything I mean a few tiny bites if that, she just plays with it and waves it about usually before dropping it on the floor. The most she’s had on a spoon is half of a bit of Greek yoghurt.

I’ve tried different plates, spoons, giving her stuff from our plates to make her think it’s our meal, we give her loads of different stuff to try, but all of it isn’t working and I’m really concerned that she’s just never going to eat.

I’m at the point of crying at every meal time when she doesn’t even want any of it. She doesn’t even have good and bad days, it’s all just bad days where she doesn’t seem interested unless it’s licking the topping off toast, or having a few bites of a melty stick.

Is anyone else going through the same, and does anyone have any tips as I’m at my wits end of making food just for all of it to be thrown away- we don’t have my income anymore on maternity, so food shopping is tight as it is.

This, and I read that her iron drops so food is important at this stage, and I’m worried she’s not getting what she needs.

Hand chewing

My baby found their hands about a month ago and she is constantly got it in her mouth ever since, she spits her dummy out to have it, does it in the bath, when we are playing etc. When does it stop being so obsessive as it often makes her sick and she gets angry at her fist too 😂 I understand its developmental but its so constant I didnt realise it would be all day in her mouth. I have also tried teething gels as I think shes teething a little too.

How much do your husbands contribute to the housework if you both work?

Do your husbands do an equal amount of housework to you? Admittedly, my husband works 3 days and I work 2 but he barely lifts a finger around the house. He will cook on nights hes off, do the dishes and put the washing in the machine and hang it out. He never vacuums, mops, tidies up, puts any clothes away, cleans any of our 3 toilets or 2 bathrooms, never gets up untol 9am on days off whereas our 3 year old and I are up at 645 everyday...and im pregnant. The otherday I commented on how it would be nice if before inviting friends over (while im at work) he could tidy up a bit. He got very cranky and commented on how he never mentions what i dont do around the house. He then proceeded to nitpick all weekend and comment on how I could've filled up the water filter (with 10L bags) etc. Is this the normal for most women? So we all just do more and just deal with it? I know it's a similar situation with other mums around. I know i cant do this forever. Please be kind