Sleep problems
Bit of a vulnerable post, and a long one so please bare with me.
I have a 9 month old now and for the past 5? ish months weve been having problems with napping. This has got steadily worse to the point now that it is just so so bad that my mental health cannot take it anymore and I now have ppd from the stressš.
When I say we have tried everything, I mean absolutely everything. He will only sleep in mine and my partners bed with curtains drawn, some form of physical contact (usually hand on waist), fan on and shh'ing.
At night time he will sleep in his cot, however we have to get him to sleep in our bed and transfer after 20mins once hes in a deep enough sleep. Then one night feed. Maybe a few cries for the dummy but generally does stay asleep.
The daytime naps however are HELL. It used to be a regular ish wake window time that he would last but nap time would vary everyday, anywhere from 35mins to 2hrs. Suddenly in the past couple months he could start getting tired just 1hr after waking, whining like crazy, rubbing eyes etc. all his usual cues. Then on other days it could be 3hrs before you see those signs. Nap lengths have become more regular though, for around a month weve had 2x 1.5hr-2hr naps.
The problem is that he will absolutely fight to the death to avoid the nap. Once he crosses overtired territory, which happens fast, he just will not sleep. He also has this constant need to self regulate which stops him from sleeping rather than soothing himself. He wants to play with his feet, if hes not doing that he wants to play with his hands, if not that then playing with my hands, or flapping and hitting himself, or ripping my top, or clawing at my face.. you get the idea. This will go on from as long as 20mins to an hour and a half of trying to get him to sleep.
Weve tried everything from sticking to wake windows, to wake windows and capping naps, to putting him to sleep as soon as he shows a cue, to adjusting how long we send him to sleep after a cue, to sending him before he shows anything, to trying to tire him out. Absolutely nothing works. He is just in a constant state of overtiredness and irritability, even if we put him to sleep an hour and a half after waking.
The one thing I can say is we use a baby tracker app and he does sleep 12-14hrs a day, so he is getting enough sleep. The problem is getting him to sleep without wasting half of the day and not being able to make plans or do things without worrying if hes going to get overtired. We have no routine, nothing, and at 9 months surely that's not normal.
I am a student and going back to studying in September, which my parents will be looking after him 3 days a week. But how could i possibly leave him with them and trust that he will nap if even I cant get him to sleep most days??
Open to any suggestions, even though I've probably done it already. Or even someone to say theyve been through this would mean a lot.
If you got this far thanks for readingš
- a stressed and depressed mummyš„ŗ
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Have you tried walking? Putting him the pushchair
Sometimes, they sleep more easily with others than primary caregivers, due to your frustration, tiredness they struggle to regulate themselves. But as someone else who has energy as they get sleep and have their own life, theyre more easier to regulate to.
Iām only saying this due to noticing this with my little one.
Your little one sounds like a very sensitive being, whoās struggling to regulate themselves.
My little one gets like that when heās overtired too, he will yell, pinch me, rub his face on my shoulder and put his fist in his mouth and rub his eyes with his fist, which only keeps him up longer instead of soothing. Only thing iāve noticed to help me personally is just pitch black room with loud white noise machine, and humming with his head on my chest.
Even with resisting and constant adjustment, within 10minutes he usually calms down.
I know your baby is older, but this is what i can relate to, i hope u find a solution ā¤ļø
Try a sleep consultant. We used Sound Asleep Gurus and it transformed our baby's naps and night sleep. I was at breaking point like you, and it literally saved me.
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Hello everyone
Hey guys, I really don't want to be judged but could anyone help until the 2nd of September until I'm back at work? I feel horrible but I'm really struggling. I fully understand if not possible, it's noones problem but mine. Thank you ā¤ļø
6
Spilt Milk
I know how the saying goes, but I am absolutely sobbing.
The jar had around 34 to 36 ounces..
my daughter is going to stay with her father tonight so I worked so hard yesterday to make sure I filled it up and then some, so that she would have what she needed.
We didnāt get good sleep last night. Half asleep this morning I go to fill up a bottle and this happensā¦
We have some frozen stock but this broke my heart.
2
7
Would you correct someone elseās pronunciation for your child? How do you feel about regional/international accents?
I bumped into a mother I know at a coffee shop. I have an unusual accent, because Iām ESL and I immigrated to the UK when I was 14 so I picked up a lot of london pronunciations but I donāt generally have trouble being understood.
Her son doesnāt have any speech issues or anything, heās got a great vocabulary for 4. He is very friendly so he talks to me when we see them at the park or soft play, and he always seems to understand me.
I was speaking to my child in English and then suddenly I realised the other mother was correcting words I said for her son? I asked my daughter ādo you want some water?ā which I guess is like dyu wan some wata if I just say it quickly without thinking, and she said quite loudly āwe would say WA-TER, do you WANT some WATERā and made him repeat it back twice.
Other words I heard her correct were cloth and cheeky girl, then I started to get self conscious and making an effort to enunciate better. I was so embarrassed, she was speaking quite loudly so she must have known I could hear her. But I like my accent, it still sounds a bit like where I come from. I donāt mind if my daughter hears it and learns it, my heritage is her heritage. We only see this woman occasionally (sheās a bit condescending so I try to avoid play dates) so I doubt my accent is rubbing off on her son.
Itās been a couple days and this is still sitting with me. It feels so out of line to do that in front of the person unprompted. As long as people understand each other, does it matter?
28
How do I go out with my 11 week old?
Everyday I try to go out and thereās always something that stops me. For instance he didnāt sleep well at night or early morning today. He was awake for a couple of hours, so overtired. My mum came to go out but then he finally went to sleep, so we waited for that. He woke up after 30 mins. Then I fed him and he was a bit fussy. He has reflux so needed to burp and hold for 20 mins. Then I went to change his nappy and get him changed into going out clothes. He then brought up all his milk and was crying his eyes out. I couldnāt settle him, by this time it had already been over 2 hours and my mum had to leave. I could only settle him by feeding and now heās fallen asleep again.
His wake windows are fairly short after Iāve fed for around 30-40mins. I need to burp in between.
Do I just take a crying baby out? He hates the car seat and the pram.
Do you miss naps? I thought an overtired baby doesnāt sleep well at night and thatās already bad.
What do you do? Any advice or tips?
12
Eye tracking and looking at hands
Hiya, my little one is 4 weeks old and isnāt yet tracking with his eyes or looking at his hands. He has just started to look at our faces but only for a few seconds then just looks around the room or past us. Anyone elseās buba like this?
1
5
Sleep problems
Bit of a vulnerable post, and a long one so please bare with me.
I have a 9 month old now and for the past 5? ish months weve been having problems with napping. This has got steadily worse to the point now that it is just so so bad that my mental health cannot take it anymore and I now have ppd from the stressš.
When I say we have tried everything, I mean absolutely everything. He will only sleep in mine and my partners bed with curtains drawn, some form of physical contact (usually hand on waist), fan on and shh'ing.
At night time he will sleep in his cot, however we have to get him to sleep in our bed and transfer after 20mins once hes in a deep enough sleep. Then one night feed. Maybe a few cries for the dummy but generally does stay asleep.
The daytime naps however are HELL. It used to be a regular ish wake window time that he would last but nap time would vary everyday, anywhere from 35mins to 2hrs. Suddenly in the past couple months he could start getting tired just 1hr after waking, whining like crazy, rubbing eyes etc. all his usual cues. Then on other days it could be 3hrs before you see those signs. Nap lengths have become more regular though, for around a month weve had 2x 1.5hr-2hr naps.
The problem is that he will absolutely fight to the death to avoid the nap. Once he crosses overtired territory, which happens fast, he just will not sleep. He also has this constant need to self regulate which stops him from sleeping rather than soothing himself. He wants to play with his feet, if hes not doing that he wants to play with his hands, if not that then playing with my hands, or flapping and hitting himself, or ripping my top, or clawing at my face.. you get the idea. This will go on from as long as 20mins to an hour and a half of trying to get him to sleep.
Weve tried everything from sticking to wake windows, to wake windows and capping naps, to putting him to sleep as soon as he shows a cue, to adjusting how long we send him to sleep after a cue, to sending him before he shows anything, to trying to tire him out. Absolutely nothing works. He is just in a constant state of overtiredness and irritability, even if we put him to sleep an hour and a half after waking.
The one thing I can say is we use a baby tracker app and he does sleep 12-14hrs a day, so he is getting enough sleep. The problem is getting him to sleep without wasting half of the day and not being able to make plans or do things without worrying if hes going to get overtired. We have no routine, nothing, and at 9 months surely that's not normal.
I am a student and going back to studying in September, which my parents will be looking after him 3 days a week. But how could i possibly leave him with them and trust that he will nap if even I cant get him to sleep most days??
Open to any suggestions, even though I've probably done it already. Or even someone to say theyve been through this would mean a lot.
If you got this far thanks for readingš
- a stressed and depressed mummyš„ŗ
4
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