Toddler not wanting to come back from grandparents
Hi,
I’m writing this with full acceptance that I may come off as a little childish to be so upset about this situation as I understand toddlers and children in general like to stay with their grandparents (who are fun) often.
A little bit of background on the situation, my parents have been a huge part of my village and are the only reliable village I have, I am extremely lucky to have them as usually always if I ask for childcare they say yes… I love how close my toddler (age 2.5) is to them, from the get go they have always been very active and involved grandparents, my toddler actually stays at their house overnight 2-3x a week due to my night shifts and I understand he loves being there.
What’s upsetting me however is my toddler is always very excited to go there, which is great, but when he comes home (sometimes it can be 3 days later if I’ve done 2 night shifts) he will be really upset and doesn’t want to come home, he doesn’t actually ask about me when he’s there… he never asks to come home. it’s like he hasn’t missed me either and genuinely just prefers being there. My Mum told me when she was bringing him home today he said he didn’t want to come home. After she left, he immediately asked to go back. It feels like he’s closer to them than me.
Any advice on this is welcome or even if anyone has gone through similar. As I say I know I may sound a little childish.
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On the days you have him are you 1-2-1 with him? Do you get out and do stuff together? Not that bonding is all about doing stuff but he’s only little and fun times are part of his memories etc!
Sounds like he might also be confusing his home. He spent half time in another house so for him this is not only about the grandparents but also the place and part of the stability he might also get there. Are you solo parenting? I can totally understand the feeling and don't think it's childish at all. I would take more bonding time and restrain a little the overnights at grandparents if possible personally
You do not sound childish and I can imagine this is very difficult for you? I would feel the same.
Is there any way Grandparents could use one of their nights they have him to stay over at your house with him? So he gets the positive association with them still but in his own house and he isn’t ’leaving’ their house.
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Toddler not wanting to come back from grandparents
Hi,
I’m writing this with full acceptance that I may come off as a little childish to be so upset about this situation as I understand toddlers and children in general like to stay with their grandparents (who are fun) often.
A little bit of background on the situation, my parents have been a huge part of my village and are the only reliable village I have, I am extremely lucky to have them as usually always if I ask for childcare they say yes… I love how close my toddler (age 2.5) is to them, from the get go they have always been very active and involved grandparents, my toddler actually stays at their house overnight 2-3x a week due to my night shifts and I understand he loves being there.
What’s upsetting me however is my toddler is always very excited to go there, which is great, but when he comes home (sometimes it can be 3 days later if I’ve done 2 night shifts) he will be really upset and doesn’t want to come home, he doesn’t actually ask about me when he’s there… he never asks to come home. it’s like he hasn’t missed me either and genuinely just prefers being there. My Mum told me when she was bringing him home today he said he didn’t want to come home. After she left, he immediately asked to go back. It feels like he’s closer to them than me.
Any advice on this is welcome or even if anyone has gone through similar. As I say I know I may sound a little childish.
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