Working and stay at home moms
If your husband was willing to pick up a second job so that you could be a stay at home mom would you do it? Even if it meant your husband would be home only 1am-6am and 1 day off a week?
What would you be sacrificing?
EDIT TO ADD
I currently work from home and tend to our child full time. The point of this is so I dont have to work and take care of her at the same time because it is effecting work and my mental load
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Personally not worth it in my opinion. I know both would be running themselves dry, but only one day off. My husband uses his day off to be with baby since he only sees him for maybe 2 hours a day during the week.
We both work so my perspective could be different, I just work nights so I can be home with our kid during the day
Absolutely not. Fathers are just as valuable as mothers for a child and a work schedule like that pretty much removes any time with their father. As an Early Childhood Educator and Specialist, the most healthy families are not based on if a parent is stay at home or not, but based on the emotional and physical capacity/time that the parents have for their children. Having a parent work such intense hours removes that parent from having feasible emotional and physical capacity/time for their children and being a SAHP in that kind of situation is essentially being a single parent and often results in overwhelm and burnout from the parent staying at home and results in the same lack of emotional/physical capacity for their children. I know that in Utah the culture is highly influenced to have a SAHM and a working father but 1) in this economy and time period it’s just not feasible for the majority of the population and 2) does not automatically = better outcomes for children.
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Baby dad problems
Anyone awake ?
Just finding life a bit difficult with my daughter’s dad she’s 2 years old.
We have been having ups and downs recently but mainly ups we have had good days out and been a good family unit.
But as of the other night we had a child free night and went for a couple of drinks he had messaged his boss asking to have a chat with him on Monday morning about doing some job. But his boss rang him near enough straight away ( probably worrying that he wasn’t able to do the job or there was something wrong ) which is perfectly normal anyways they got chatting and it ended up with him being nearly an hour on the phone. During this I was just stood outset near him but he kept moving away and stuff so I couldn’t hear the conversation.
Ok but if it’s about work he is normally very open about it and will tell me most things. I just thought surly he can sit at a table outside with a drink with me and have this conversation.
So we had a bit of a disagreement outside the pub had a drink and left for home for when we got home our daughter was still awake so we got her to bed but he didn’t say one word to me all evening and he was on his phone messaging his boss.
I didn’t think much of it expect it was a text messaged at 10pm and it was a long message. I didn’t ask to see what he had said or anything
Roll on to today I had a look on his phone and the message contains him saying to his boss that “ things arnt stable at home “ and “ I’m finding it hard to leave “
Which just made me think wow
After he says all the time he wants to be with me and make everything work out as a little family .
Should I be going mental that he is saying these things to his boss and like making out to his boss and probably all his other work people that he doesn’t wanna be with me anything
I just feel it is very muggy after everything I do is for him and his daughter while he still carries on a normal life.
He won’t talk to me about it he just says I’ve read it wrong and that I should just shut up going on about it. But now he has changed his password on his phone and won’t let me anywhere near it
While he is now peacefully asleep
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2 year old hardly eating anything throughout the day
I’m trying not worry as I know they can go through phases where very little gets eaten. However I feel like I’m living with an air plant! He’s not poorly, no new teeth and is other wise ok. Except for the usual toddler mood swings that are definitely getting exasperated by him probably being hungry. Yesterday was a good food day and he was definitely happier which is also incredibly frustrating. I’m listening and looking out for hunger signs and I’ve being kind by giving him all his fail safe favourites but he’s only happy eating sliced ham, cucumber, carrot sticks, pears and berries.
Tomorrow I’m trying a different tactic and just going to try him with loads of new foods to see if that sparks any sorta curiosity. It’s hard not to worry when they only graze on very little throughout the day.
Any words of comfort would be appreciated 🥺
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I don’t wanna keep my baby anymore 🤦🏽♀️ any advice ?
I am pregnant with his son I’m not happy all the time it’s draining !!! And he isn’t making it any better doesn’t consider me at all! He hasn’t slept in the bed or spent any time with me in a while he just plays his stupid game all the time and recently just started work! It’s just like if you feel like you need space so bad to that point why are you even here ????
Anyways he left because we had a small argument regarding the WiFi and I didn’t want him to pay for it I rather pay for it when I get paid. because if you can’t even spend time with me etc why should I make it able for you to play your game ? Idc if it sounds petty or not. I’m tired of being nice and a mf can’t even consider me at the end of the day! I want my son but I don’t want to struggle I already have a toddler and I’m not about to do it alone ! I’m over the relationship shit! Then says he doesn’t spend time with me etc because we argue … he literally does shit intentionally to piss me off and of course I’m going to react!!! I can’t stand when people play victim like they just never do anything wrong . Like you do plenty of things that pisses me off but I never not spend time with you!!! And act like u don’t exist! Like if you wanna be by yourself you can always leave no point of being in my house !
He was so quick to leave so it’s just seemed like he didn’t wanna be here anyway you already stopped doing certain things with me & only wanna be nice or consider me when you want me to do something for you.
Also he does have a history of trying to throw certain situations in my face that’s why I rejected him paying for the WiFi he really only wanted to pay for it because he wants to play his game anyways…
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Did anyone else end up crying uncontrollably during back to school clothes shopping as a kid?
I cried in a northern reflections kids (Canadians will know) while modeling stuff for my family. Just in tears the whole time.
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Breakfast
Can i get some ideas of what everyone is giving for breakfast and lunch?
I give her weetabix, porridge, sometimes fruit. The problem is shes cmpa and doing the milk ladder so cant have anything pre made. I just feel like its the same things all the time
Ive not neen too adventurous with finger foods. Also shes had two allergic reactions in a week and im trying to find out if i can whats caused it.
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I hate taking my son to the park.
I don’t mind it when dad is with us, but when I’m alone with him I hate it so much.
It fills me with nothing but anxiety when other kids are there. I only want to go when there’s nobody else, but then I feel guilty he doesn’t get to interact with other kids. But when other kids are there he just ends up getting hurt.
I hate it I hate it hate it.
Our second is on the way and with how horrific life has been with an almost 4 year old who’s about to start pre school I cannot help but think that once our second is born I should just check out of life entirely.
Their dad can find somebody normal and capable of doing all the things other people do normally everyday, and I can just be dead instead of full of worry and dread.
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