What to do
So my husband has lived in a different state since we married because of his work.
We have three children all under 7 (2 boys and a 6month of girl) I wanted to leave him a long time ago but my parents were against the divorce because we are catholics.
He doesn't help me to pay rent and bills because ''he said he also pays rent where he lives which is slightly higher than my rent''. I explained to him that I'm living in a bigger house than I normally would because of the kids. He only buys groceries twice a month and clothes for the kids (once a year) even though he is child free mostly and does a lot of overtime at work. I work full time (37.5hr per week) and have to sort childcare and school runs. I pay for childcare. He comes once a month and stays for a week. Sometimes once in two months.
He doesn't even acknowledge my struggles.
I'm ready to leave the marriage now before I return to work in a couple of months but I don't know what to do with the kids.
As he has had it easy all these years, I want to give him the boys and keep my little girl and they visit during the holidays or keep all the kids with me and apply for child support. But I would really struggle as I have no village.
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Sorry but imagine how those boys would feel if you just palmed them off to their dad while you kept your 'little girl'. To me it sounds like he deserves none of them and if it were me I'd want all of them with me and divorce in the post š³
Keep all the kids. Why didnāt you and the kids move with him? Sounds like this has been going on for a while if you wanted to leave him a long time ago.
Leave him, keep your kids and your peace āļø
Imagine the trauma those boys would have knowing you āgave them upā? As their mother, how could you even bear to think about giving your children up and only seeing them on school holidays. I guess Iām just confused about everything about this postā¦
Why didn't you all move with him when he had a job in another area?
How is he when he does come home?
Without further context, it just sounds like you're just overwhelmed and wanting to divorce, but really, you already live a separate life as is. Besides y'all not living together, I'm not seeing any glaring red flags either.
Why not just do counseling?
But whatever you do, NEVER split up the kids.
Omg you can NEVER SPLIT UP YOUR KIDS WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING. š¤Æ
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When your family members or, trusted friends babysit your child(ren). Do they respect your boundaries?
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- They don't give your child(ren) sweets/pop if they're not allowed those things.
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- The list is endless to whatever your boundaries are for your child(ren).
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