Husband is upset about low sex drive

You’re not doing anything wrong!

He wants the kids and wife and all the glory that comes with it, but he doesn’t want to be a husband and father and provide the ability for that glory to happen.

You need to sit down, make boundaries, create rules and stick to your guns.

Get him to see a therapist with you…sometimes men don’t listen when it comes from us. The second they hear it from someone else, they listen. A professional would be the first person to stand up for you here. Sex drives are often lost because of stress levels & not feeling emotionally taken care of in a relationship.

I had a similar chat with my partner not long ago, I told him my sex drive would be higher if he pampered me a bit more (offered me a foot rub/back rub/tickles/play with my hair, rather than me always having to ask for it and deal with him complaining about it). Luckily he listened. My ex never listened (he had a bad porn addiction) and when I asked him to see a professional with me he refused, because he knew exactly what they’d say and he couldn’t handle hearing it.

You almost have to train them like a dog🤣

To be honest, I’m not sure what else you can do to spell it out for him, he knows what you need & has already made it clear that he’s not interested in doing his part to fix this issue, he just wants you to ignore the root of the problem & fake it, adding more to your mental load, but that won’t work, it’s hard to want/pretend to want sex w/someone who is actively trying to turn us off.
You could try giving him some articles or videos about this, lots(but not enough)of men are giving other men solid advice these days, trying to combat some of those toxic dudes, like Nurse Noah touches base on some stuff & I find following his reels on FB leads to seeing others who offer more thorough courses, but I don’t remember names & the hardest part is getting men who need the advice to actually listen to it & put it into practice. I’d probably find something that fits, send it to him & say listen to this man, followed w/ a “since you don’t want to listen when I explain, balls in your court now”

I’d say well if you want sex then come home and act like it don’t go out to the pub with the boys 🤷🏼‍♀️. I mean your body is reserving energy for it needs to do and so sex and biologically speaking the possibility of a baby are not a priority to your brain. If he won’t pull his weight then your brain isn’t freeing up energy to carry a baby.

Make him an appointment with a sex addiction specialist.