Am I in the wrong?

AIBU?

my husband works full time, I’m a stay at home mum as I was made redundant while pregnant.

we have a 5 YO and a 9 MO. I do 99% of the parenting. Because I’m a stay at home mum I also do the majority of the housework. When my husband gets home if there’s something not done (like the dishwasher emptied, washing not sorted etc) he’ll be in a mood with me. I do try to keep up with the household stuff but having a baby to look after and food shopping/house admin/everything else on top of it is sometimes hard but to be honest I think I do keep up quite well.

He makes his own dinner when he gets in at night (I offer but he doesn’t like my food) and will sometimes do a little bit of housework (maybe he’ll mop once a month or fold some washing?).

he plays football 4 times a week and again, I’m doing 100% of the parenting in this time. I do all meal times, bath times and lie with the kids til they’re asleep too. I honestly don’t mind as I love being a mum, I feel like it was my sole purpose but what I do mind is when he gets home and is in a mood because X, Y and Z hasn’t been done. Or like tonight when i nip out for 20 minutes (with the 5 YO) and he’s phoning me because he can’t cope with the baby and again, in a horrid mood because I shouldn’t have left the house at that time apparently.

like I say I don’t mind doing all of the parenting, I love my babies so much but I hate how he goes in a mood with me and I’m beginning to wonder if I’m in the wrong. Should I be more more on top of things as I don’t work? I feel like I need to walk on eggshells as he pays the bills. Am I being unreasonable?

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No. You’re not wrong. I’m still on Mat Leave and there is no way I get everything done every day while my husband works. He comes home and helps with the baby, will look after the baby independently if I want to go out, cooks most dinners, helps with the dishes, does a full laundry cycle, helps vacuum or clean the house when I fall behind… the list is endless. Oh, he also does 90% of bedtimes.

Now.. I’m not unaware that my husband probably does above and beyond the expectations of most working full-time fathers when the mother is still at home…

But what I’m trying to show is that you don’t have to have the house perfect, or that you have the right to expect your husband to care for the child(ren) occasionally.

Why do so many men think they’re so entitled!?
Sorry but we have so little village these days yet we’re still expected to do everything (bar bring the wage in, but often that too!)
He needs to look at the bigger picture. Is the house generally clean? If not tell him to hire a cleaner. Are you all fed, sleeping and watered? Yes, great, now he should be grateful he’s not living in a war zone or dealing with poverty.

Absolutely not. It’s bad enough that he expects you to do everything. But to be pissed at you for not getting every single thing done? Ridiculous. In our house my husband works and I am a SAHM. When he is home, we sit down together at the same time when all jobs are done. The only difference is I wake up with the kids, and he gets the full night’s sleep. Because if I have a rough night, I can nap in the day with the kids, he can’t nap at work. A marriage is about teamwork x

He lives in the house too. Those are his kids too. He should be contributing to the home more than just monetarily. This is an example of married single mom

I really hate guys like this.

You must have the patience of a saint to put up with this shit because God help a man who even dares to act like this with me.

Imo, you shouldn't be more of top of things, you're already doing too much.

in our community

Husband lying about his plans and whereabouts with toddler.

We have a 1.5 year old and due a baby in a few weeks. My husband has been taking our toddler for a walk in the evenings each day, just so I can have a bath and take some time to relax. We live a few minutes walk from a woodland, open farm and a small park. My husband always tells me he walks to and around one of these places. However I’ve found out that he has occasionally been walking to his friends house (5 minutes away) and having a catch up/watching tv instead. I wouldn’t mind so much if he was honest and this was a more suitable thing for my toddler to do. His friend has no kids/no toys at his house. I am feeling very annoyed with him but he doesn’t understand why.

For reference, I have no problem with him seeing his friends but I would rather he didn’t lie about it and use his quality time with his son to do this.

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So my partner has had gambling addiction in the past so I have full control of his money.
He has a set amount every week until friday to last him for petrol money.
Today is obviously monday and hes asked for petrol money.
Ive said no.
Hes now having a huge tantrum about it and saying it's my fault.

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This weekend I was in the hospital with kidney stones measuring up to 5mm. The pain was honestly worst that labor, and I was given a prescription of oxycodone, 1 pill every 4 hours. I didn’t take them and ended up back in the ER and they explained I needed to be taking them even when I wasn’t in pain, because when the pain comes (when the stone starts moving) the pin is already too high for the prescription to work.

That made sense to me, so when I got home, I took a pill with a glass of water and a light lunch. I still had a dull ache, so I asked the girls if they wanted to lay in my bed and watch a movie together, which they did and we watched movies. My husband called to check in on me at some point and I told him I took the pills they gave me, and he FREAKED out. He immediately left and came home. Made the girls get out of our room and go to their own, and was screaming at me that he was so disappointed in me and couldn’t believe me. He saying “and you did that in front of our daughters???” I was shocked, and he just started packing his things and said if I wasn’t sick he’d be kicking me out and he’d be staying with the kids, but he was so disgusted with me he couldn’t look at me and couldn’t stay in the same house. Then he threw his packed bag into the doorway and left without it. He went to hang out with the single mom next door who is always flirting with him. Stayed the night there too, and wouldn’t take my calls. Called in the morning to talk to the girls and then came home to walk them to the bus stop with me.

He followed me into the house after they got on and told me he wanted a divorce. He said I could’ve died taking those pills (I took 1, as prescribed by the doctor) and that I need serious help. He told me that’s not fair to him or the kids when I know his mom died right in front of him and his brother OD’d on pain killers. (Yes I knew these things, but his mom died of natural causes and his brother was an addict. I’m not.) He said he can’t be with me anymore because he can’t even look at me without thinking about what I did. He had off work today so I asked if could call off and we spend the day together and figure it out, but he said no. He said he doesn’t even want to see me anymore. He then left again and walked to the neighbors house, and I went to work.

We’ve been fighting via text since I got here, and I’ve accused him of leaving me for the neighbor because I said this just feels like an insane over reaction and I did nothing wrong. He got more mad and said they’re “just friends” and when I pointed out everything not friendly she’s done he said I’m hilarious and making shit up.

I really don’t know what to think. Was I wrong for taking the medication with our kids home? Am I making too big of a deal over the neighbor ?

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