Whos in the wrong

I mean regardless of his previous problems and you may feel like you are helping but this is financial abuse. You cannot stop him from having his own money.

I’m confused as to why he only gets petrol money? Is he not allowed to go buy lunch at work or even a coffee? I think everyone should have control over their finances like I understand taking X amount from him for bills/food/other expenses but he should definitely be able to use whatever is left. I don’t mean to judge i just couldn’t imagine never being able to treat myself to anything x

Several questions here....
1.Does he...
just get money for petrol
Or
is it a set amount for that, another amount for food, another amount for play... ?
2. How tight is his budget, does he have room for price changes, random weeks where he drives more to see friends or something
3. Is this something agreed upon or did you decide it?

Also a suggestion.... Give him money on Mondays instead of Friday so the weekend is at the end of his allowance.

He has money for petrol about about £50 extra for spends

This isn't sustainable. Or effective. And how exhausting is this? I don't know how you're able to have full control over his money, but he's not a functioning adult if he has to ask you for it every time he needs it. Does he pay bills? Buy groceries?

What did he spend the petrol money on?
Does he provide you with receipts so he can evidence that he is actually spending the money where it's meant to go?

People are focusing on the arrangement and their opinions on it which is between you and your partner. I assume you wouldn't have control over his finances if it wasn't an agreement that you have both found necessary and have agreed upon. He's obviously shown he can't be trusted with finances and you have taken on this responsibility for his sake and I imagine your own as well. It's not abusing him.

However he should be able to get extra money if it's needed. Maybe you need a system between you where you discuss big purchases/things that might take him over his weekly allowance. Maybe he shows bank statements if necessary. If he's broken trust in the past and this is something you've agreed on together I don't think this is too much to ask, in this sort of situation if you just give money whenever he asks I imagine he could easily slip back into this addiction. Maybe the budget needs revisiting to give him a little more freedom so he doesn't have to beg for a bit of extra money, if he's shown progress.

As someone in a relationship with someone that has not a singular financial responsible bone in his body. Your method can work, he needs to plan, include you, and make better decisions in order to see more freedom. What is truly financial abuse is having to be in yours and my position bc if not, there would be nothing

Sounds like a good plan to me.

It sounds like you guys are working together to help him with his problem and you can beat this my husband had a gambling problem and we did just that. I had control over the bank account we both have PayPal’s so if he needs extra money I can send to him when he’s at work. They randomly have lunch or he needs to stop and get a few things after work like groceries ect

This sounds tiring, I feel for you.
Is he getting any type of help?

I’d go take his car to fill it up lol 😂
Then his car is full and he doesn’t waste anymore money …