Am I the asshole for being nervous/ paranoid when my mother in law has my baby even when she’s just near him?

No I don’t think you’re paranoid. Might be ppa, I think I might have that though too. But my spouse thinks I hate my mother in law, but seriously she made me feel like I could barely breathe and had high blood pressure when talking to her or when she was nearby when I was pregnant bc she seemed so well yeah kinda posssessive too but so opinionated and hers always seemed so negative! Like she couldn’t be positive at all.

I struggle with this too with my mother in law. She gives me anxiety when she is holding my baby or hanging with my daughter. It gives me anxiety my baby being held by her

I am struggling with this as well. For me, It is entirely my PPA. Talking with my own mom about it and even my husband has been super helpful. Mine is more stemmed from the fact this is the first grandchild on his side of the family

Not all anxiety is a bad thing. Sometimes it’s your intuition. From this, your mil has said some inappropriate things between the passive aggressive comments and “our baby.” I think it’s disrespectful, so no I don’t think you’re the asshole and it makes sense you’d be cautious of her around your children,

I don’t think you should take it personally. It’s a reflection of her when she makes those possessive statements. You should let her know it’s part time her baby but the baby is mostly all yours 😉 I’m sure she won’t do anything to harm the baby.

At the end of the day it’s your baby and setting boundaries is good. If you don’t want the baby in-front of a monitor voice your boundary. Don’t worry about the passive aggressiveness this is your baby and you deserve your boundaries known and respected ☺️ you got this momma 😊🙌

Lol my baby just turned 9 months and the father mother acts just like that. 1 time when she was babysitting him at 4 months old she ignored my phone calls when I tried to call to check on him she told me not to call and if there's a problem with my child , she will let me know....guess what I did. immediately picked him up lol

Honestly this post made me feel better about my mother in law as well.. I can't say that I would ever leave my son with her without me or my husband. And he does hold it against me I think but doesn't fight me on it. I am very thankful to have my mom there to babysit. I feel like it might just be how different my mother is then her. Just the way they raise kids I guess. Which probably makes it hard for us. There are things that even my mom pushes me to the limit with giving my sons snacks when I don't want her to, but as long as he's healthy when he goes to the doctor I try not to be too much of a gripe about it. But yeah there is just things my mother in law does that I could not put up with 🤷🏻‍♀️. My sister in law is honestly that way with my mom as well. She prefers her mother and it aggravates my mom. I think it's a rare thing for that not to happen.

No you're not an asshole. My mother in-law is a very sweet older woman. I have been a nanny for 10 years and I'm very attached to the children that I take care of ( there are 6). I thought there was no way I would ever feel stressed about my baby being held by anyone once he was here. But after he got here every single person around me felt like a threat. Not because they're bad people or don't love him or anything but because people simply don't listen. The amount of time I had to repeat that I needed to feed him and they needed to give MY baby back to me was so insane. Also I feel like it doesn't matter if it's "just hormones" or you are being "paranoid". That baby is YOURS and you get to decide what is right for them. AND screen time is not recommended for any baby until the age of two. I'm saying this as a mom who has used Sesame Street in many desperate situations.