Divorcing a "good" man
We both saw this coming for a while, we just are on different pages and different priorities. We love each other and have no hard feelings and want the best for our daughter (3). There was no abuse, just lack of effort and unmet expectations that were communicated. I feel like I keep trying to villianize him and make a list in my head of what he did (or didn't do) to make it make sense on paper. I understand I'm not innocent either, I've held a lot of resentment since we had a child and felt like he didn't step up and I had to take on most of everything (as I know a lot of women feel). With all said and done, it's still hard to go through and it's so lonely. He was the reason I looked forward to the future and at one point felt like my person. I don't have much support system or family and he does. I'm mainly just venting but has anyone else gone through this? I feel like people will judge that "oh if it wasn't abusive or there was no cheating, there's no reason to not work it out". I know it's for the best to separate. I don't like the version of me that has grown and is out around him and living with him. I feel like I failed my daughter and she is going to grow up and resent me for not trying harder. It's going to be so tough for her to get used to us not living together and not seeing both her parents everyday anymore.
Thoughts, advice?
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Sometimes it happens you just fall out of love and grow apart! If neither of you are happy there is not point in trying just for the sake of you’re daughter … she’ll still have a mum & a dad who love her also she’s 3 so she won’t fully understand and hopefully will be fine with it all & as you both have no resentment hopefully you can co-parent together with no issue
No matter what you do or how you explain yourself and this situation, someone somewhere will find reasons to judge you.
I'm separated from someone who lied to me for over a decade. I still got the "why don't you hang on for the kids sake?" Talk.
Stand strong and firm. You know your situation best and your daughter deserves two happy homes not one miserable one.
You got this!🩵
I think if this is what feels right for you, no one else can comment on your decision. You know your situation and emotions better than anyone else.
My personal opinion is if a man knows/can see their wife/partner struggling they would step up if they truly cared. For a man who is supposed to love you and be your life partner, to not support you during one of the most hardest times in your life is very telling.
Sending you lots of warm hugs x
You'll be excellent co parents and might even thrive this way.
You shouldn't be in a marriage that doesn't serve you both. There doesn't need a justifiable reason for others just yourselves.
Children bounce a lot quicker than we do with change and she'll look to both of you to role model the change. If both homes are loving and both parents are engaged and can remain friendly she'll see that and feel that and be absolutely fine!
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For reference, my husband is their only child and thus these are their only grandchildren.
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This advice is for a friend not me..
my husband is best friends with hers and he says he thinks she’s just making him seem crazy that it doesn’t sound like him at all. I have TONS more messages from this day.. idk what to even tell her anymore..
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Divorcing a "good" man
We both saw this coming for a while, we just are on different pages and different priorities. We love each other and have no hard feelings and want the best for our daughter (3). There was no abuse, just lack of effort and unmet expectations that were communicated. I feel like I keep trying to villianize him and make a list in my head of what he did (or didn't do) to make it make sense on paper. I understand I'm not innocent either, I've held a lot of resentment since we had a child and felt like he didn't step up and I had to take on most of everything (as I know a lot of women feel). With all said and done, it's still hard to go through and it's so lonely. He was the reason I looked forward to the future and at one point felt like my person. I don't have much support system or family and he does. I'm mainly just venting but has anyone else gone through this? I feel like people will judge that "oh if it wasn't abusive or there was no cheating, there's no reason to not work it out". I know it's for the best to separate. I don't like the version of me that has grown and is out around him and living with him. I feel like I failed my daughter and she is going to grow up and resent me for not trying harder. It's going to be so tough for her to get used to us not living together and not seeing both her parents everyday anymore.
Thoughts, advice?
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