Using family names, dilemma!
My father passed away when I was a child. We used his name as our son’s middle name as a way for him to be connected to baby. My mum was very happy with this and so were me and my partner. I will say that my father’s name isn’t particularly a name I would’ve chosen otherwise as it’s not to our taste but won us over sentimentally.
My FIL openly asked me and my husband the other day if we will be using his name as our second son’s middle name. We had no intention of doing this and have already chosen another middle name. The middle name we have chosen is actually my husbands and FILs middle name (they have the same). We thought this was a way to connect both my husband and FIL to baby boy no2. My FIL seemed annoyed and said “is my name not good enough?”.
I have no idea how to approach this subject anymore, especially when my in laws keeps asking if I have finalised a name and seem to be off in tone when discussing a name.
For reference, my husband is their only child and thus these are their only grandchildren.
Thanks for any help with this situation! I don’t want to upset anyone but also want our decisions to be respected.
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Sorry to hear that you're in this position.
It's no one else's decision when it comes to names other than the child's parents.
I think it's a nice idea to use a middle name that they both share. My dad and partners dad have the same name, we always said we'd use that as a middle name if we had a boy, we're having a girl but don't plan on using either of our mothers names, it's babies parents choice at the end of the day.
I've no advice but understand how you're feeling when it comes to issues over names 🙄 my MIL recently made some nasty comments about the name we're thinking of using, and when confronted about it by my partner instead of owning her mistake she blocked us and we haven't had contact since, I'm almost 38 weeks pregnant and there's still no signs of getting it sorted with her
Husband should be handling this, he's their child. He just says we're continuing the family tradition of keeping the same middle name, we don't need to go into the reasons why we named X "X" do we?
I just have 1 middle name. My siblings have loads. I always thought it was super important to give my kids loads of middle names 🤣 they all have intertwined names of their grand parents. My 1st has her nans 2nd name, but when i had my second, my mothe rin law passed away just before she was born and i thought that it was suoer important to add her first name as my daughter's middle name. She was a remarkable women. My girls have both male and female middle names of their grand parents. my baby on the way will have the names of the great grand parents. That way everyone feels connected, especially if myself or my partner has had a great relationship with our grands. Do tell them that its whats you've picked and would like it to remain that way. They will get over it.
Saw someone say here that the kids get the fathers sir name so the mum can choose the first name ! 😅 atleast he is getting your FIL middle name and sir name ! I think they’re being very petty you and hubby can definitely choose whatever name you want for YOUR child it has nothing to do with grandparents
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Using family names, dilemma!
My father passed away when I was a child. We used his name as our son’s middle name as a way for him to be connected to baby. My mum was very happy with this and so were me and my partner. I will say that my father’s name isn’t particularly a name I would’ve chosen otherwise as it’s not to our taste but won us over sentimentally.
My FIL openly asked me and my husband the other day if we will be using his name as our second son’s middle name. We had no intention of doing this and have already chosen another middle name. The middle name we have chosen is actually my husbands and FILs middle name (they have the same). We thought this was a way to connect both my husband and FIL to baby boy no2. My FIL seemed annoyed and said “is my name not good enough?”.
I have no idea how to approach this subject anymore, especially when my in laws keeps asking if I have finalised a name and seem to be off in tone when discussing a name.
For reference, my husband is their only child and thus these are their only grandchildren.
Thanks for any help with this situation! I don’t want to upset anyone but also want our decisions to be respected.
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