Friends child

My best friend has a 5 year old and my daughter is 16 months old. My best friend is amazing with my daughter, and my daughter LOVES her so much. The problem I’m having is her son has a lot of behaviours, she’s in the process of trying to get help with him as they think he might be on the spectrum in some capacity. Her son loves my daughter and she loves him too. The issue is he is VERY aggressive, if he sees his mom giving any attention to my daughter then he’s throwing toys at her, pushing her over, going out of his way to hurt her and when we try to correct it he just laughs at us and gets worse and worse. I am not sure what to do. When he’s in a good mood they play so nicely but then something just switches and he will just terrorize her. I don’t know if we should keep having play dates but they love each other so much. I’m struggling. Has anyone had a similar situation and have any advice?

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I think you need to ask yourself how you would feel if you allow this to continue and your daughter is seriously injured. She is too little to defend herself or understand what is happening right now.

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My three younger siblings are all on the spectrum for autism and I also have a nephew diagnosed with autism. 3 out of the 4 are all high functioning and I don't believe that being on a spectrum is a free pass to letting this sort of behaviour slide. I believe they need very clear and consistent boundaries and maybe it will help if he has been given a heads up a day before you arrive.

Suggest to his mum that he could have special activities that are just for when you're over. Keep the visits short and gradually make them longer before the unwanted behaviour starts, that way seeing you and the baby isn't connected to him being in trouble. Could you do something with him for 5 minutes while your friend is holding baby?

My nephew who is 10, is horrible... He makes me and my children feel unsafe because he has never been told a firm "NO", so he laughs at authority and respects no one. My family blames autism but I just cannot get on the same page as them. He looks for reactions from people and he is sneaky...

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It is fair to place a boundary for the sake of your daughter.

You could accept to meet with her for coffee dates but not play dates, not with your children.

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Yes I deal with this with my friend and her 4 yo daughter. I have to watch them closely cus yes she will be sweet hug her and everything then after a while she will be territorial over toys or even try to hit my daughter or put her shoe in my daughters face it’s so annoying and overwhelming. I go through the same thoughts like is it even worth hanging out w my friend.

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Friends child

My best friend has a 5 year old and my daughter is 16 months old. My best friend is amazing with my daughter, and my daughter LOVES her so much. The problem I’m having is her son has a lot of behaviours, she’s in the process of trying to get help with him as they think he might be on the spectrum in some capacity. Her son loves my daughter and she loves him too. The issue is he is VERY aggressive, if he sees his mom giving any attention to my daughter then he’s throwing toys at her, pushing her over, going out of his way to hurt her and when we try to correct it he just laughs at us and gets worse and worse. I am not sure what to do. When he’s in a good mood they play so nicely but then something just switches and he will just terrorize her. I don’t know if we should keep having play dates but they love each other so much. I’m struggling. Has anyone had a similar situation and have any advice?

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