If/when your child’s grandparent watches them, do they actually do things with them?? Like do they try to feed them healthy, brush their teeth, comb their hair, go on walks or to the park and play games?

Not always. But I’m unbothered by this. So what they spent 3 days watching TV and eating junk? It was only 3 days. To me. It’s not that serious.

Don’t get me wrong, they get screen time with them. But yes, they do a lot of things with them. And my mom absolutely takes care of their hygiene. They’ll take them to an arcade, park, splash pads. My dad will play a lot of catch with my son and chess. Not sure if this is relevant though, they are on the younger side for grandparents, my mom is 59.

My parents do. My mom makes an effort to care for her not only in a thorough way, but as close as possible to the way I would while still having their own "grandma's house" routines. Does my dad occasionally try to sneak her ice cream? Sure, but they do lots of things - they go to the park, they go for walks, my dad has taken her to the beach, they'll even do activities occasionally like sensory play at the library. And they always make sure she's properly groomed and dressed (my mom is always trimming her nails and complains I don't do it enough, lol).

I know if it was my in-laws though, or at least my husband's stepmom, they wouldn't. They'd sit around and watch tv and barely pay her any attention at all. I wouldn't trust them because she'd probably hurt herself on something around the house. His mom, I do trust with her over short periods but his mom is quite nervous about doing something "wrong" and she tends to defer to us more.

Brush their teeth and bathe them. Maybe take them in her yard but they mostly they watch tv. She’s recently tried to start buying them coloring books

I wouldn’t be letting them stay there again for suuuure. I feel for you. I don’t have a village either.

something's slip at nannies- ie brushing teeth but they take him out and do things with him xx

My kids have never stayed there without me and likely never will but when we are at my parent’s house, it’s mostly a free for all. Doesn’t bother me personally. I want them to have fun and it be a special place! We only go there probably 1-2 times a month though.

Not brushing their teeth isn’t great and gross but it is what it is. Likely not going to cause issues after 3 days. On the rare occasions when someone watches my kids, my only goal is to come back with them unharmed.

Similarly to how I felt when I had sub for my class. As long as everyone is alive, I don’t care what happened when I wasn’t there lol

Not brushing their teeth is what gets me on this — that’s just irresponsible and the bare minimum. I can let go of the tv rules go out the window and Grampa gives my kid some cookies, that’s just what happens and the grandparents house. I get it. But I would definitely say something about not caring for the kid’s basic hygiene that’s really never ok.

Hopefully you can talk to them about and make it really clear so you’ll feel comfortable leaving the kids with them in the future.

My parents are pushing 70 and they take my kids on actual hikes 😂 like my dad has their backpack carrier from the 80s and my 2 year old goes in that and my 4 year old on foot. They love it!

I mean I’m not suggesting that’s the bar set though, my MIL is not about to go hiking with them. Time with her is far more low gear, they don’t tend to leave the house or do anything active (she is also pushing 70). But she will spend literal hours playing playdough or drawing animals (she has the patience of an actual angel).

I get giving grandparents grace absolutely, but if either my parents or my in laws just shoved my kids in front of the TV for 3 days and didn’t even clean their teeth… I wouldn’t be cool with that. No issue with more tv than usual, but not ALL day and the lack of teeth brushing does not sit well with me personally 🤷🏼‍♀️

My mother would brush his teeth, give him a bath, attempt to give him nutritious food but end up giving him treats. She’s not really gonna take him anywhere like a museum or zoo, he’ll help her in her garden and watch tv. My MIL is not gon even ask or agree to watch him smh.

Did you ask her why she didn’t brush teeth or hair?

Teeth brushing, etc... No. They sucks at setting a rythm with my son so we don't let them anymore because it's always such a mess. Yet they are old (around 70) and play with him the whole time they are together. Usually never more then 3-4hours. We have a no screen rule in our house.

This is a fear of mine. I haven’t left my child with either set of grandparents yet (and am unlikely to with the in-laws due to logistics) but I am concerned that this would be my experience. I’m sorry you had it.

They do all the fun stuff. Routines go out the window and I accept that. I wouldn't want them there if they were just watching TV the whole time, but did you ask your mil if that's the truth

You mean while MIL and FIL are on Facebook or playing games on their mobiles? No, that's why they don't babysit.