Advice please

Hey guys, i guess im looking for advice or something idk honestly. Ive been with my husband for 18 years married almost 10. Over the past few years he started having a really bad gambling problem. I left him in June for one night , he was constantly texting me the entire time one right after the other, threatening to end his life so i went back the next day. He said he would stop gambling, well that lasted a week, so i left again exactly a month later in July. I stayed gone for 9 days, blocked him on everything. Well we ended up talking again because he started causing a lot of problems for me when it came to our kids, tried to put me in jail, called and tried to have our baby taken from me by lying, i have the statement he made. Well stupid me, i went back yet again. He kept saying he wouldnt make it without me, how he didnt eat for 9 days, that basically he was dying. Mind you ive been with him since i was 19 and he was 33. Our entire relationship has been “controlled” by him. Anyways, we packed up my car and went to go check on his dad and well we have been here for a month now in a different state, and when i explained i wanted to go back, he got really mad, we fought everyday for 2 weeks straight. He would get upset because i didnt want to “lay down” or because every time he would “grope” me i would pull away. He has mentioned he wanted me to dye my hair because he thinks it will look better. Has started getting me clothes that i would usually never wear. Saying that hes from this area and he has a reputation to uphold and he wants his wife to look good. I still have a daughter where im from, shes 18 and lives with my mom because shes still in school. He doesnt work and wants us to work together even though ive stated i want my own job. Im supposed to be flying back and forth to see my other daughter but how if he isnt working and i dont have money for a ticket? Hence the reason i want to work. Idk i just needed to get all of this off my mind. Im so torn because ive been made to feel like im worthless and a horrible mother and it breaks my heart.

in our community

I regret becoming a SAHM and stepmom

I regret giving up my autonomy.
I regret becoming dependent.
I regret getting involved with his drama and his shitty parenting with my stepkid.
I regret having to wait on him to do anything.

Recently he sold his business and hasn’t been working and has been home miserable. Now we’re having money issues and I’m looking for work again. I sit on the laptop hopeful to find sometime part time or full time remote and he sits there telling me to look for a job for him.

I regret marrying this man child. Who lied about who he was, what he had and what he was capable of. He totaled my car and purchased a new one in his name. Now I’m stuck in the house all day and he’s telling me to take public transportation, which I wasn’t doing and hasn’t done for 10+ years prior to meeting him.

Then he says take the car and make plans whenever but when I decide something his plans always take precedence.

Today I wanted to take my baby to the zoo since it’s free after 2pm on Wednesday. I made us breakfast, while he was at the gym with the intention to get ready after breakfast to go enjoy my afternoon. He tells me oh I have to travel 1.5 hours to pickup my brother, come with me. I said no obv because why should I subject my baby to sit in the car for 1.5 hours upstate, another 1.5 hours to drop him off to the city and another hour to come back home?!

I am miserable , I hate myself for these choices I’ve made, I hate my life.

Am I the dickhead ?

I just received a gift from partner.. it being a Samsung phone one of the latest ones. And he was excited leading up to giving it to me, my birthday was in January but he didn’t have any money then so he got me something now.

Anyways I’m iPhone gang, I have my Mac, my iPad, AirPods all linked ect. So I’m abit surprised that he got me a Samsung and an expensive one at that. I kind of stated that I’m used to the iPhone and my things are all set.

Voicing my opinion has made him quite sad and feel like I don’t appreciate his gifts and that he’ll never gift me again.

I feel awful, he’s not talking to me now. I’m not sure what to do ?!

Salary sacrifice / 30 free hours

Hey guys, my baby is due to start nursery January 2027, and my partner currently earns £130,000, I earn a lot less (around £40,000) . We obviously want to apply for 30 free hours given that nursery is extortionate and we also want to buy a house so will have mortgage on top(!), this means he will need to salary sacrifice atleast 30,000. But when baby joins nursery we will be in the current tax year so it is too late so put the money into pensions, but we wanted to put the money aside starting from the next tax year in April 2027.

So essentially pay full fees Jan - March, then reapply for the 30 free hours just before the beginning of the new tax year in April, and he can then start salary scarifying so that we are eligible.

Does anyone know much about this and know if this is possible? Chat GPT saying should be fine but wanted to check with anyone who might’ve had similar experience!

Bisexual and married but haven’t been with women in years.

It’s been so long and I wish I could be with a woman again. My husband doesn’t mind it’s just meeting new people and finding time.

I need some cannamom friends

I am literally suffering through postpartum depression and I need some 420 friendly women to talk to or preferably hang out...I feel like I'm mentally going insane with no one to talk to.

Maternity pay help

So i do care work but only work betweem 8 to 16 hours a week and each job i get paid diffrent amouts some could be a 45 min call or a hour. If my work dont pay my maternity pay and i have to have goverment matnity im worried i wont of earned enough ect. My partner works full time but i want to still bring somthing in.Has anyone been turned down for maternity from employer and goverment? What did you do? Im a little worried