Boy mom to be/ Grieving the future I had pictured

You should be looking forward to having a healthy happy baby. Be grateful you’re pregnant because so many women struggle for years. I hate to say it but you will probably regret this when you meet him and realize your whole world is him and you are his whole world and nothing else matters.

❤️💙❤️

Shawna, I know it’s hard to understand for a lot of people but grief and sadness for the life you had, the ideas of life you had for yourself and gender sadness is a VERY real thing. She’s not trying to be heartless or mean and she said she knows she’s gunna love him unconditionally, she’s just expressing her grief and that’s normal and totally ok! I would be more compassionate to others feelings especially on an app meant to be supportive.

I felt the same.
I had always pictured myself with a little girl, especially since my family side has never had a boy before. We’re known for always having two girls. That’s why I kinda thought it would be the same for me and I made it some kind of weird special standard thing I had to have. I also wanted to name the girl after my grandmother who has died and this made it even harder to ‚look forward‘ to having a boy.

Once I knew it was a boy everything I had pictured fell apart and it took me some time to really get comfortable in the new ‚role‘.

When I gave birth to him I cried because I couldn’t believe how perfect he was. I instantly forgot everything I thought I wanted and fell in love with my baby boy. I couldn’t picture myself as any less now.

I am happy now that I got to be his mum and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. And if I decide to get a second child I wouldn’t care about the gender as much now.

I am sure everything will work out, just give it time.

I had a similar thing and it took me a few weeks to come round to stop feeling it and sometimes I still feel it a little.

Don’t blame yourself, I had a research it’s completely normal. I’m really close with my Mum so I was really wanting the same thing with the baby.

I’ve spoke to people about it and other people have it and say once the baby comes they forget all about it ❤️. The pregnancy struggles are so real and everything we feel is OK. The guilt is such a normal reaction but remember everyone’s journey is so individual and it’s such a difficult rollercoaster sometimes.

You’re doing the most important job in the world right now by growing a baby so be kind to yourself.

I've had the same "problem", so I can relate. We both wanted a girl, we had the name and all. Then the doctor told us that its a boy. My husband said "Thats a pity." right away. I cried for a day and had the same Feelings as you. I felt sad, but also guilty. Then I decided to accept it. I was having a boy, ok. I have to love this little baby, because I wanted one. Its not his "fault" that he is a boy. Now I love my little boy. He is so sweet, laughs a lot, loves to cuddle, is smart and friendly to everyone.My friend has a girl and sometimes I am a little jealous. So I think, I would like to try for a girl. Just one more try. But if we'll have another boy, I'll be glad too :)

This would’ve been me if I were having a girl. I 100% understand. But as a boy mom, let me tell you… you don’t know love until you hold that baby boy. Nothing else matters to me but that little man!! He’s the best thing in my life. You’re allowed to feel this way and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you had an image in your head of what motherhood would look like, and then it’s all different? Yeah. It’s valid.

The feeling is called gender dissapointment

Gender disappointment is difficult but as a boy mum myself I'm telling you that you will absolutely forget you ever even thought about this! Mum's and their boys share such a unique bond ❤️ Plus the way I look at it is that I'm so lucky to be able to mold and shape a gorgeous little gentleman that treats women (and people in general!) with kindness and empathy. Plus I don't have a girl to compare but I'm told boys are much easier 😂 Good luck to you and baby boy for the rest of your pregnancy ✨

Gender disappointment is completely normal. I was in the same boat as you when I learned I was having a little boy earlier in my pregnancy. I had always envisioned my first being a little girl and I got way more upset than I ever thought I would. I then got even more upset about how upset I was and felt like a horrible mother. So many people on the internet want to make mothers feel bad about “caring about their babies’ genitals” without even having ever been pregnant. But it’s ok to be initially disappointed. After a couple days pretty much all of those feelings went away since the initial shock wore off. This feeling will pass, I promise you. I can’t wait to meet my baby boy in a few weeks and I wouldn’t have it any other way 🩵 You got this

My husband and I both wanted a girl. Our child is IVF and very hard fought for. Having a second (and trying for that girl) may not be on the cards for us. There was disappointment… and sometimes even now I wonder what my future looks like and how different it will be from the one I envisioned. But I love my baby boy with all my heart. He’s turning into the perfect little man. You’ll find that, eventually, love will trump your sadness over losing that little girl.