My Boss is the father…
I genuinely don’t even know how to summarize the last few months of my life without it sounding like the plot of a TV show, but I need somewhere anonymous to get it out.
I ended a relationship with someone I had been with for basically my entire adult life. We had over a decade of history together, and although there were very real reasons our relationship ended, you don’t just erase that kind of love and history overnight.
After the breakup, I started dating my boss. I fell hard and genuinely believed what was happening between us was real. Looking back now, I feel incredibly used. And then, in the middle of everything falling apart, I found out I was pregnant with his baby.
So not only was I suddenly dealing with an unexpected pregnancy and the realization that the relationship wasn’t what I thought it was, I also had to walk away from my favorite job. A job I genuinely loved. Staying there obviously wasn’t realistic anymore, so now I’m scrambling to find another job and get myself financially situated before I start showing enough that hiding the pregnancy during interviews isn’t really an option anymore.
And somehow, in the middle of all of this, my ex and I found our way back to each other.
Not because everything from our past magically disappeared. Not because either of us forgot why we broke up. But because underneath all of the hurt and everything that happened, we still loved each other.
Now comes the part that makes the whole situation even more complicated: I’m carrying another man’s child, and the person choosing to stand beside me through it is the man I originally left.
At first, he wanted us to just tell people the baby was his. I understand where that came from emotionally, but I wasn’t comfortable building our child’s life around a lie about something that important. We’ve had some incredibly difficult conversations about what all of this actually means, and despite how complicated and painful the situation is, he has told me that he wants to stay, raise this baby with me, and love him as his own.
I don’t know exactly what our family is going to look like yet. I don’t know what my work situation is going to look like. I don’t know how many more uncomfortable conversations or massive changes are waiting for me.
A few months ago, I thought I knew what my life looked like. Now I have a different relationship, no longer have the job I loved, I’m desperately trying to find another one, I’m pregnant, and the person preparing to raise this little boy with me isn’t his biological father.
It is messy. There are parts of it I wish had happened differently. There are things all of us could have done differently. But this baby didn’t create any of that mess, and he deserves to enter the world surrounded by people who choose him completely.
So right now, that’s what I’m trying to do. Figure out the practical stuff, make peace with the things I can’t undo, rebuild what is worth rebuilding, and somehow turn one of the craziest chapters of my life into the beginning of something good. ❤️
Just needed to vent 😮💨
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The thing they don’t tell you about becoming a mom is you realize just how much strength you actually possess. You are fortunate enough to have a man willing to step in as a father to your son and help you through this chapter. You are both strong and you are both capable and everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.🩵
Does the boss know he’s the father and wants nothing to do with his child? Whatever you decide to do you will be good! The unconditional love that your child gives you will heal you over time and make you stronger! When I was 19 I was pregnant with someone who I was no longer with. I was with someone else. I told them and they took time to think and decided they wanted to be with me and help me raise this baby that was growing inside of me even though he knew she wasn’t his. My daughter is now 15 and the one who decided to stay knew she wasn’t his biologically but decided to help me raise her. (we’ve both moved on but he is very much active in her life) she has her dad and my husband so in the long run she has two great male role models in her life 💕 you will figure it out! It’s going to be ups and downs but that’s life and you just have to perservere through, you got this!
I would put that man on the birth certificate and go after child support. Even if he doesn't want to be part of this child's life, why does he get to do nothing? Get the money for your child. I pray you find a job asap. Do all that you can to be self sufficient. Please be careful and don't put all your eggs in this basket with you ex/now current ..ie don't become a sahm if he says don't worry he'll take care of you and baby. Take it slow with him, maybe go to therapy together if you can. Good luck
Don’t put bio dad on the birth certificate.
If you need child support you can always take care of it but removing him from parental rights is a whole court case and nightmare. He can assert parental rights and keep you from moving if you ever want/need to, keep the child from leaving the state, have influence in things like the child’s medical and schooling. International travel. And if it’s a big enough issue you have to go to court every time.
Also, he seems like a jerk and I believe his ex wife with the DV. Abusers do what they do for control. Putting him on the bc and asking for $ is you getting control from him and would be more trouble than it’s worth especially if he’s the vengeful type. If he abused his wife and mother of his children that he actually did help raise he’d do things to hurt you too.
In case he shows back up, which could happen as he feels less in control in his separation, keep proof you told him he has a kid and he chose not to be involved.
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18
Small Rant🫣
I just need to know I’m not alone here. 😅😓
Does anyone else’s husband constantly ask for head but suddenly has every excuse in the world when it’s his turn to return the favor? 😂 Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my husband, and we have an amazing time when the effort goes both ways…but lately, all I hear is, “I’m too sore.” Sir, please. 💀
At this point, I’m about to find myself a girlfriend and introduce her as my new best friend. 😅🤣💀
Thanks for listening to my little rant—please tell me I’m not the only one! 🤷🏽♀️😂
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Working?
Hello mamas. I was just curious, how many of us are still working full time?
8
My Boss is the father…
I genuinely don’t even know how to summarize the last few months of my life without it sounding like the plot of a TV show, but I need somewhere anonymous to get it out.
I ended a relationship with someone I had been with for basically my entire adult life. We had over a decade of history together, and although there were very real reasons our relationship ended, you don’t just erase that kind of love and history overnight.
After the breakup, I started dating my boss. I fell hard and genuinely believed what was happening between us was real. Looking back now, I feel incredibly used. And then, in the middle of everything falling apart, I found out I was pregnant with his baby.
So not only was I suddenly dealing with an unexpected pregnancy and the realization that the relationship wasn’t what I thought it was, I also had to walk away from my favorite job. A job I genuinely loved. Staying there obviously wasn’t realistic anymore, so now I’m scrambling to find another job and get myself financially situated before I start showing enough that hiding the pregnancy during interviews isn’t really an option anymore.
And somehow, in the middle of all of this, my ex and I found our way back to each other.
Not because everything from our past magically disappeared. Not because either of us forgot why we broke up. But because underneath all of the hurt and everything that happened, we still loved each other.
Now comes the part that makes the whole situation even more complicated: I’m carrying another man’s child, and the person choosing to stand beside me through it is the man I originally left.
At first, he wanted us to just tell people the baby was his. I understand where that came from emotionally, but I wasn’t comfortable building our child’s life around a lie about something that important. We’ve had some incredibly difficult conversations about what all of this actually means, and despite how complicated and painful the situation is, he has told me that he wants to stay, raise this baby with me, and love him as his own.
I don’t know exactly what our family is going to look like yet. I don’t know what my work situation is going to look like. I don’t know how many more uncomfortable conversations or massive changes are waiting for me.
A few months ago, I thought I knew what my life looked like. Now I have a different relationship, no longer have the job I loved, I’m desperately trying to find another one, I’m pregnant, and the person preparing to raise this little boy with me isn’t his biological father.
It is messy. There are parts of it I wish had happened differently. There are things all of us could have done differently. But this baby didn’t create any of that mess, and he deserves to enter the world surrounded by people who choose him completely.
So right now, that’s what I’m trying to do. Figure out the practical stuff, make peace with the things I can’t undo, rebuild what is worth rebuilding, and somehow turn one of the craziest chapters of my life into the beginning of something good. ❤️
Just needed to vent 😮💨
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Dinner 🍛
Mild Chicken korma and rice 🍚 with a side of grapes 🍇
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Triangle group chat
Anyone near the angier/fuquay area that would like to be in a group chat? I’d love to have some friends nearby that would be down for grabbing coffee or just hanging out!
You can message me or comment your number and I can start the group! I think it’d be really fun for us to meet nearby moms :)
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