9mo teething and I'm deeply concerned about my mental health...
My baby has always been very calm and happy, he's perfect and lights up my life. He still hasn't slept through the night, but he used to wake 3 times from 7pm to 7am, which was manageable. But this past month, it's been a little crazy, he's got 3 teeth popping at the same time, and the exhaustion I feel has affected me a lot more than I ever thought.
I used to struggle with self harm, and the urge to take all of my frustration and anger on me has been very hard to repress. Yesterday I scratched myself so hard, and felt so fucking guilty, bc I did it in front of my baby, and bc I was so so so tired and he was fighting his nap. He's such a good baby. He deserves a better mom. I'm trying SO HARD to be better, to be the best I can be, but feel like I'm failing all the time.
I can't talk about this with anyone, is someone else going through something similar? Please don't judge me.
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if you want advice or to vent, feel free to message me
My baby fights her sleep too and sometimes I at my limit and just want to cry and remember she’s just a baby I won’t go through this again with her. I breathe and still hold her and rock and pat her to sleep and vent while she’s fighting and kicking takes 5 sometimes 10 min for her to settle and sleep most all days. And if I’m really just not wanting to fight her I let her stay awake and keep her happy as long as possible sometimes that means dropping plans or going out while she’s mad eventually she knocks out or I try sleeping her and it’s fast or the car ride puts her to sleep.
Sleep deprivation is horrendous and if he has usually been a relatively “easy” baby then this is being thrown on you suddenly, it’s like you need a way to release your emotion without self harming, do you like walks or any form of exercise? Even dancing, try and do some of those, put your headphones on if the noise is too much and listen to your fave music, you can still talk to him through the noise so he can still see and hear you but you’re just getting a break from crying. If it feels too much always put him in a safe space like a cot and take time in the kitchen or toilet etc to quieten your thoughts. And reach out for support, you don’t have to mention the self harm if you don’t want to but tell someone you are struggling majorly with sleep deprivation and an unsettled baby.
My baby is going through a major teething sleep regression too. I try to remind myself everyday that it's okay to ask for help. It sounds like you could use some support mama, you don't need to talk about anything specifically if you're not comfortable but know you are not alone. Try to offer yourself grace, this experience is both so rewarding and SO HARD and both exist. Sending love and always here if you wanna message me!
Sleep regression is fucking rough. Do you have a support network? Or even just one person?
You'll feel a lot better if you can get more sleep. Even just a nap or something.
And it does pass!!
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Childcare dilemma
My little one will need 3 days of childcare when I return to work next year and we have already reserved her a nursery spot for these days. My mother in law has previously commented about wanting to have my daughter for 1 day per week but for various reasons I would prefer for my daughter to attend nursery for all 3 as currently planned, which is what I feel most comfortable with right now. My dilemma is the upset/ tension this would potentially cause and that my partner doesn’t seem to think it will be an issue and has not had this conversation with her. I can sense she is waiting for this but he feels otherwise.
I also can’t help but wonder if my reasonings are unreasonable or not for this decision.. or if they’re totally ok as I’m her Mum and I have to be comfortable with it. My partner is ambivalent on the decision and doesn’t mind either way. My reasons are…
1. I would like my daughter to have consistency in her week and not to be between my care, a relatives and then nursery (I’m aware many do this without issue)
2. I would like the flexibility of being able to drop off and pick up my daughter when I’m able to and early if i desire; it is also 5 minutes down the road rather than 25 minutes
3. My mother in law has been overly involved with my niece and tries to take over parenting (in my opinion) which I do not want to happen with us
4. I would not feel comfortable to challenge my mother in law if needed around the care she provided like I could with nursery
5. I don’t feel my mother in law is respectful of our parenting decisions and suspect she would go against these and seek to undermine them if looking after my daughter
6. I would rather my mother in law’s time with my daughter to be on a more informal basis; it will still be promoted, just around our lifestyle and what works for us
Has anybody made this decision for similar reasons?
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Would this bother you too ?
My partner and I are spending the weekend at my MIL’s with our 1yo, Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon, so only two nights. We don’t see her loads as she has a very busy life, although she’s not completely absent from our lives.
We’ve brought a handful of toys with us, about 6. She’s been playing in the lounge, so obviously that’s where the toys have ended up.
Last night before taking her upstairs for bath and bed, I put all the toys together in one section and tidied everything up.
Today we’ve been out shopping and then had a BBQ with a few guests over. My daughter was playing with a shoebox which was left in the lounge, along with some of her toys. When it was time for bath and bed, I had to take her upstairs with my partner, but because there’s no crib or bedrail, I basically had to stay with her in the room. My partner was then out in the garden catching up with long-time friend who came to visit.
Later, my partner came upstairs and told me his mum had been complaining that we’d left a mess in the lounge. I’m annoyed that she made a point of mentioning it.
I completely understand if we’d absolutely wrecked the place, but it was literally a few of my 1yo’s toys left in the area where she’d been playing.
If this was my house, I wouldn’t have said a thing. I’d actually see having my child's toys in the living room as a privilege and part of having her there. Obviously I appreciate that not everyone is the same and some people like their house kept a certain way.
But it’s left a really sour taste in my mouth and has actually made me think I’d rather just not stay here anymore.
Am I being unreasonable for being annoyed that she complained about a few toys being left in the lounge? Or would this bother you too?
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Do you have a routine where one parent cooks while the other looks after the toddler?
I’m a stay-at-home mom, and my husband works from home or sometimes goes into the office. I’m with the 23 months old toddler all day, and after 5 p.m., when he’s mostly finished with work, I start cooking dinner.
And somehow, that’s exactly when he decides to call his family. 😂 The baby isn’t really included in the conversation, so while I’m cooking, I also have to entertain the toddler.
I’ve tried to bring this up, but he said what I’m saying is rubbish. Like, how am I supposed to cook and entertain the baby at the same time?
We ended up having a fight about it. I’m not saying he can’t talk to his family, but I feel like dinner time should be something we plan together, especially when there’s a toddler involved.
How do you guys handle dinner time? Do you have a routine where one parent cooks while the other looks after the baby?
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Found a second phone
Welp. My husband who works out of town is using an old phone of his. I found it in his car. I can’t unlock it and he doesn’t have a SIM in it but I did sneak it out of the car and I’m charging it up as I’m considering confronting him with it. I figure if it’s all charged, he can’t use the excuse that’s it’s dead and try to get rid of it.
My understanding is that in spite of that, he can still call and text using WiFi.
Any ideas on what to do? Feedback?
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How do people bring a new baby home when you already have a toddler?!
There is a 3 year and 1 weeks age gap between my children. I gave birth yesterday! Have come home this evening. Bed time has been diabolical. I don't know what I expected. But it wasn't this 😂
My 3-year-old is freaking out every single time the baby is crying. My exhausted husband is in the 3-year-old's room trying to get him to sleep and failing. It's now 3am. My newborn won't go in there next to me and is crying a whole bunch due to lots of new surroundings and smells etc. To be expected? Maybe! But how the hell do people do this 😂 I had a C-section yesterday. In a whole bunch of pain. Looking like no sleep will be had by me. Feel worried! Any tips?!
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First day at childminder
My girl is 11 months and starts her taster session on Monday for 2 hours.
My anxiety is really bad because she doesn’t like strangers and only likes to be held by certain people ie mum, dad and grandparents.
The child minder I have chose has a policy were handover is at the door and parents can’t come in. But I know she’s will scream if I pass her over and leave. She loves kids and she will be fine when she sees them but I just want to come in with her, place her infront of the kids so she’s distracted and then leave.
I’m also struggling with her not getting constant supervision as they can have up to 6 kids in their care and you can’t possibly have eyes on all 6 at all times.
I have extreme separation anxiety from her and will only leave her in the care of my mother so passing her over to a complete stranger who I’ve only met once is really daunting
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