Would this bother you too ?
My partner and I are spending the weekend at my MIL’s with our 1yo, Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon, so only two nights. We don’t see her loads as she has a very busy life, although she’s not completely absent from our lives.
We’ve brought a handful of toys with us, about 6. She’s been playing in the lounge, so obviously that’s where the toys have ended up.
Last night before taking her upstairs for bath and bed, I put all the toys together in one section and tidied everything up.
Today we’ve been out shopping and then had a BBQ with a few guests over. My daughter was playing with a shoebox which was left in the lounge, along with some of her toys. When it was time for bath and bed, I had to take her upstairs with my partner, but because there’s no crib or bedrail, I basically had to stay with her in the room. My partner was then out in the garden catching up with long-time friend who came to visit.
Later, my partner came upstairs and told me his mum had been complaining that we’d left a mess in the lounge. I’m annoyed that she made a point of mentioning it.
I completely understand if we’d absolutely wrecked the place, but it was literally a few of my 1yo’s toys left in the area where she’d been playing.
If this was my house, I wouldn’t have said a thing. I’d actually see having my child's toys in the living room as a privilege and part of having her there. Obviously I appreciate that not everyone is the same and some people like their house kept a certain way.
But it’s left a really sour taste in my mouth and has actually made me think I’d rather just not stay here anymore.
Am I being unreasonable for being annoyed that she complained about a few toys being left in the lounge? Or would this bother you too?
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
I think I'd be more annoyed at my husband for not taking a few minutes to clean up even with his friend there. 6 toys and a shoebox shouldn't have taken much time. He should have known how his mother would feel about it.
Your MIL needs to see my house at the end of every day after two kids have been messing it up 🤣
How rude and unwelcoming to complain about a handful of toys. Like you say if it was left messy and dirty, she’d have a point.
When we have other kids visiting I love seeing the room with toys everywhere, I want kids to have fun in my house and not worry about putting a foot wrong. I’d feel the same if I were you
I think that grandparents that can't accept a little mess for a couple of days to have their kids and grandkids around don't deserve them around. She is welcome to spend the weekend at YOUR house next time ?
Trending
in our community
Am I overthinking?
I have caught a sickness bug off my 2 year old and really struggling at the moment as I also have a 6 month old baby and my partner is working long shifts. I have been offered a hand from my in laws to take my toddler for a few hours whilst I try and get some rest but feel very 50/50 as in my head I do not want anyone assuming I don’t look after my kids when I have them 100% of the time. Probably just sound silly even thinking this, what’s your opinion?
18
Childcare dilemma
My little one will need 3 days of childcare when I return to work next year and we have already reserved her a nursery spot for these days. My mother in law has previously commented about wanting to have my daughter for 1 day per week but for various reasons I would prefer for my daughter to attend nursery for all 3 as currently planned, which is what I feel most comfortable with right now. My dilemma is the upset/ tension this would potentially cause and that my partner doesn’t seem to think it will be an issue and has not had this conversation with her. I can sense she is waiting for this but he feels otherwise.
I also can’t help but wonder if my reasonings are unreasonable or not for this decision.. or if they’re totally ok as I’m her Mum and I have to be comfortable with it. My partner is ambivalent on the decision and doesn’t mind either way. My reasons are…
1. I would like my daughter to have consistency in her week and not to be between my care, a relatives and then nursery (I’m aware many do this without issue)
2. I would like the flexibility of being able to drop off and pick up my daughter when I’m able to and early if i desire; it is also 5 minutes down the road rather than 25 minutes
3. My mother in law has been overly involved with my niece and tries to take over parenting (in my opinion) which I do not want to happen with us
4. I would not feel comfortable to challenge my mother in law if needed around the care she provided like I could with nursery
5. I don’t feel my mother in law is respectful of our parenting decisions and suspect she would go against these and seek to undermine them if looking after my daughter
6. I would rather my mother in law’s time with my daughter to be on a more informal basis; it will still be promoted, just around our lifestyle and what works for us
Has anybody made this decision for similar reasons?
2
4
Am I being unreasonable?
My wife and I are have a 3 year old daughter. My mother in law is clearing out her conservatory and wants to give some of the baby toys amd equipment to her son and his girlfriend who's baby is due in February. Of course that's up to her when it's stuff she had brought.
But I don't think it's fair we should be expected to give her the stuff we brought for her daughter that weve kept at their house because we are planning on having more children in the near future.
She says why wouldn't we buy our future child their own toys.
We're not made of money, we live within our means but my wife has disabilities and I'm her carer so we only claim benefits (UK based).
Am I being unreasonable by not letting my brother in law and his girlfriend have our stuff?
13
Keeping screen time low
Hi Toddler moms,
What are you guys doing to keep screen time low? I’m trying to find more stuff for my one year old to do. I don’t mind him watching certain shows . I just don’t want him watching tv all day. We do the obvious things like read books and play in the house without the tv on and go to park.
2
9
Would this bother you too ?
My partner and I are spending the weekend at my MIL’s with our 1yo, Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon, so only two nights. We don’t see her loads as she has a very busy life, although she’s not completely absent from our lives.
We’ve brought a handful of toys with us, about 6. She’s been playing in the lounge, so obviously that’s where the toys have ended up.
Last night before taking her upstairs for bath and bed, I put all the toys together in one section and tidied everything up.
Today we’ve been out shopping and then had a BBQ with a few guests over. My daughter was playing with a shoebox which was left in the lounge, along with some of her toys. When it was time for bath and bed, I had to take her upstairs with my partner, but because there’s no crib or bedrail, I basically had to stay with her in the room. My partner was then out in the garden catching up with long-time friend who came to visit.
Later, my partner came upstairs and told me his mum had been complaining that we’d left a mess in the lounge. I’m annoyed that she made a point of mentioning it.
I completely understand if we’d absolutely wrecked the place, but it was literally a few of my 1yo’s toys left in the area where she’d been playing.
If this was my house, I wouldn’t have said a thing. I’d actually see having my child's toys in the living room as a privilege and part of having her there. Obviously I appreciate that not everyone is the same and some people like their house kept a certain way.
But it’s left a really sour taste in my mouth and has actually made me think I’d rather just not stay here anymore.
Am I being unreasonable for being annoyed that she complained about a few toys being left in the lounge? Or would this bother you too?
8
Looking for some advice from other stay-at-home moms…
I recently became a stay-at-home mom, and while I’m incredibly grateful that I’m able to be home with my little one, I’ve been struggling with something I didn’t expect — not contributing financially anymore.
I know that being home with my child is valuable, and I’m so thankful that my family has made this possible. But I can’t help feeling guilty that the financial responsibility has shifted almost entirely onto my husband. I want to feel like I’m contributing to our household in some way, even if it’s only a little bit. ❤️
For those of you who are stay-at-home moms (or have been in a similar situation), what are some realistic ways you’ve been able to bring in a little extra money from home?
I’m not necessarily looking to replace a full-time income. Even making a little extra each month to help with groceries, bills, savings, or just taking some of the pressure off would mean a lot to me.
I’d love to hear your ideas — especially things that can realistically be done from home while caring for a young child, without needing a huge upfront investment or a traditional work schedule.
Thank you in advance! 🥹💜 I’m just trying to find a way to contribute while still being present for my family.
2
6
Download the Peanut App
