Am I being unreasonable?

My wife and I are have a 3 year old daughter. My mother in law is clearing out her conservatory and wants to give some of the baby toys amd equipment to her son and his girlfriend who's baby is due in February. Of course that's up to her when it's stuff she had brought.
But I don't think it's fair we should be expected to give her the stuff we brought for her daughter that weve kept at their house because we are planning on having more children in the near future.
She says why wouldn't we buy our future child their own toys.
We're not made of money, we live within our means but my wife has disabilities and I'm her carer so we only claim benefits (UK based).
Am I being unreasonable by not letting my brother in law and his girlfriend have our stuff?

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I guess my only thought is if you've left them there, your daughter no longer plays with them, and you haven't collected them to save already, I understand why your MIL is suggesting gifting them on/is a little confused about why you want them. However if you've expressed that you want them then it's weird for her to be pushy about giving it all away! That's your stuff at the end of the day it's not hers to give and it's not her business to tell you what to do with it.

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I wouldn’t say you’re being unreasonable or not. But you did say in the future you’ll have more, maybe you and the family can come to an agreement that the toys stay in the family and you and your wife’s next future child will get them when the time comes? Maybe compromise the least favorite toys and then set a boundary for the favorite/ memorable toys?

I understand the storing the baby items at the in laws, we do it too! Sometimes you don’t have extra room and the in laws do😅

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I see both sides.
Without a second thought, i would happily let my sister take what she needed and hand it back over when they're done with it 😊 but that would be my call, I'd be annoyed if my mom just gave her my stuff.

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If you want your stuff then you need to go get it and store it yourself. Your kids not playing with them and if its stuff shes even considering for a new baby then its stuff your kid hasnt used in QUITE some time. In THIS scenario since theres no current pregnancy for you guys and you dont actually know when or if there will be another, have a conversation with them. Theres no reason it cant come back to you if/when you guys need it again. Right now youre only at a hypothetical stage, how long is she supposed to keep your stuff for a child that may not happen and may be a different gender?

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I think the same explanation can go to gifting the second hand toys to her son and gf bc y not she buy them their own toys . If u really want to keep the toys go pick them up and bring them home for a while

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Shit wrong button I meant not being unreasonable

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Am I being unreasonable?

My wife and I are have a 3 year old daughter. My mother in law is clearing out her conservatory and wants to give some of the baby toys amd equipment to her son and his girlfriend who's baby is due in February. Of course that's up to her when it's stuff she had brought.
But I don't think it's fair we should be expected to give her the stuff we brought for her daughter that weve kept at their house because we are planning on having more children in the near future.
She says why wouldn't we buy our future child their own toys.
We're not made of money, we live within our means but my wife has disabilities and I'm her carer so we only claim benefits (UK based).
Am I being unreasonable by not letting my brother in law and his girlfriend have our stuff?

Avatar

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