Did anyone else find it hard with a toddler and newborn? Crying for our toddler 😭

It is soooo hard adjusting and tbh even now almost 3m in i still have days where everything gets on top of me and it all feels too much but it definitely does get better, when your littlest one isn’t feeding try to pass them to someone else and just have some 1 on 1 time with you first born that’s what really helps me. Is there any reason your first can’t sit with you whilst your feeding the baby? x

Going 1-2 was so much harder for me. It felt like my toddler wasn’t getting the attention they were used to, and baby wasn’t getting the attention my first born got. It was awful.

It will get easier eventually - just try to get some solid one on one time with your toddler on a daily basis, and reinforce how much you love spending this with time with them and how special it is to you.

If your partner is doing bedtimes with the eldest, encourage them to make it special too. My husband and my daughter played gross games that ‘mummy thinks are yucky’ like ‘the fart factor’ (X factor, but with farting bears and she was the judge of the best fart).

During the day when I was stuck feeding I’d let her choose something from the ‘lucky dip’, which could be a snack or a small toy (think party bag fillers - a yoyo, pack of crayons, puzzle, balloon), and that would keep her occupied for a while and it was exciting for her.

Good luck and congrats on the new arrival! It will settle down soon ❤️

Was this at night or like during the day? What we did when I was contact napping or feeding was sit on the couch with them both. We’d watch a movie or show or my toddler would have a toy and play with while we sat and cuddled together

You need to include your toddler in the routine and help with the baby more. I would always tell my first born to come with me when we’re alone in the house when I need to feed her little brother. He used to cluster feed in the first month of his life, and after that each feed can last up to an hour as well, but I’d always have her in the room with me. She would just happily play quietly as I feed her little brother. It’s so important to not exclude them. Not particularly sure why it’s an instinct to do so, but for us, she was there all the way. She helped me get nappies, clothes and play with her little brother while I clean his poo-poo. It was a transition at first of course, but it didn’t take long at all for her to understand that her baby brother will need more attention from me at the time.

And the next important thing is to always say when you’ll have time for them, and you need to keep your word.