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First time mums

Is she wrong or am I a bad mom?

My daughter is 9 months today! 12/15 and it feels like it's gone by so fast. One of my boyfriend’s clients/acquaintances reached out this morning to ask how our daughter is doing.

For context - This is only the 2nd time we've spoken ever, the 1st was a congratulations when our daughter was born.

We talked for a few minutes about how she has been and then she asked how I've been handling leaving her and if it's been rough, because it was very rough on her to leave her son at this age.

I mentioned that I have never been away from my daughter so I don't know how I would react but I imagine it would be extremely difficult for me.

For Context - The longest we have been apart is the 45 minutes while she had her IV’s places and a spinal tap during her hospitalization at 3 weeks old. But she was just across the hallway in another room.

She was confused at how that was possible, so I explained that we live on the other side of the country from ALL my family and his family. All the daycares in a 1hr radius of us have 2-4year waitlists and we can't find even a babysitter in our rural area at all. So I don't have anyone to help with childcare and have to do it myself.

That’s when she got angry and yelled at me over the phone, saying that my child will suffer damage without having people around me to physically support us and that I'm already a bad mom for choosing to have a baby so far from all her family

I was so appalled that I just hung up the phone. I’ve never had anyone call me a bad mom or say that i’m damaging my child before so it was shocking. I pushed it aside and continued playing with my daughter but now that she’s down for a nap i’m worried.

I have been struggling with the fact that my maternity leave just ended and I don't know what I'm going to do financial since we have 0 options for childcare and I can't get another job without having somewhere for my daughter to go. Her comments have just made me feel worse!

My daughter hangs out with my boyfriend’s friend’s children when they come over but they are all years older than her. We live outside of a very tiny rural town that's filled with the elderly so it's extremely hard to make mom friends let alone friends at all.

I know my boyfriend will be furious with her when he gets home from work tonight because he doesn't take kindly to people who disrespect me and he always feels bad that he can't help more since he works 10-18+hrs a day, 7 days a week on the farm.

Has anyone dealt with this before? Was she right? Am I a bad mom that's damaging my child for having her even though we don't have a village?