At breaking point

I feel like I’m reaching breaking point, my partner is always at work, he’s starting uni soon and so we still qualify for the working parent hours at nursery & tax free child care he’s having to work weekends whilst being at uni and placement all week. We have no family support and I’m sick of doing everything alone I have no time to spend time with my friends or do anything that makes me feel like me. I’ve contacted my perinatal team but they can’t see me any sooner than 5 weeks and I honestly don’t know which way to turn anymore, I’m supposed to start back at work next week and I have no idea how I’m going to cope with everything

in our community

AITA

I need an outside view as I don’t have anyone to speak to.

We (husband and myself) lost our cat a month ago due to a clot he was 5. And we lost our other due to cancer in February

At the start of the year we had two cats and two dogs. The dogs had always been my husband. Not as in responsibility just that they’d be all over him when he was home. That’s great it suited me as I have 3 children to care for also. The cats were more me. Again not responsibility just they’d come to me to settle down with for kisses or fuss. We took turns feeding whoever was about at the time of needing.

Anyway. It’s been a month I now have no cats I’d been grieving and finally plucked up the courage to say I think I want one. Explained how the dogs were more him and now I have nothing. He so I thought got it and said he’d support me in whatever I wanted to do. I explained I didn’t want to force a new cat on him if he wasn’t ready. I got it i understood. He said if it was what I wanted he’d stand by that. I’ve mulled it over a few days kept asking his opinion I honestly didn’t want this to become a thing to upset anyone. Same response.

This morning I found a couple of kittens near by, went and visited and narrowed it down to two. I knew the girl by off chance and said I would let her know by the end of the day. I went home showed my husband he said I needed to choose which one and he went off to the shop to buy what we needed for her.

This bit matters. I went to visit at 12. WE decided at 1.30 he went shop at this time I fetched her at 2.30. At 3.30 he said she still needed somethings so went back to another few shops. Brought her a new bed bowls ect. While he was gone my son told me that my husband had been in the phone to his parents saying I emotional guilt tripped him into having a cat. He wasn’t ready for. And that I don’t give the dogs enough attention which isn’t fair.

Now I feel like shit and I’m struggling to attach myself to this kitten I can’t even name her because I feel I’ve done something wrong. I get up every morning and feed water the dogs and let them out and clean up after them everyday and I book appointments and give them medication the only thing I don’t do is bath them. I can’t speak to my husband about it because he will then take it out on my son because he told me everything and I don’t want that.

Was I wrong for bringing in this kitten??

AITA ??

I have 2 under 2. One being a newborn.

My friend came over to visit and brought her 6 year old. Her child is veryyy tall and looks about 10. She has a lot of energy & just doesnt stop.

Anyway, my 2 year old is being assessed for autism. She does not like physical touch, people in her personal space or loud noises. My friend knows this.

Anyway, her child has come in SHOUTING and playing music on her phone. She was throwing my childs toys around & then got on to her trampoline. Bare in mind, shes 2 so its a little trampoline. She started bouncing and I asked her if she could please come off it as it was for small children. She shouted, laughed and carried on. My 2 year old wanted to be picked up as she was overstimulated. I asked my friend if she could turn the volume down on her daughters phone and it was too loud and my toddler was VISIBLY upset and covering her ears. I also had a sleeping newborn next to me. She asked her daughter and she refused and that was it.

She then started shouting my childs name and was putting her phone in her face. I asked her not to do that and give her some space.

She then took my toddlers snack and started eating in. My child has safe foods so got very upset as she was eating it.

I looked at my friend and she laughed saying "gosh she doesnt listen." To which I said "can you please tell her to stop it shes upsetting my child" and she laughed saying "honestly she doesnt listen."

This went on for over an hour & my child was besides herself. Shes non verbal but I understand her cues. I tried to take her upstairs for a nap & asked my friends child if she could be a bit quieter as my baby was sleeping & my toddler was going to bed. I hugged my toddler to console her and she laid down for a nap. 5 minutes later, my friend said "i'm going to the toilet" and took her child with her. I told her not to flush the toilet as it would wake my toddler. Heard them both upstairs cackling, then saw on the camera - her daughter go into my childs bedroom and stroke her face whilst she was asleep. She then started getting all her books out and throwing them around. My friend came downstairs and said "shes just chilling upstairs for abit."

My head WENT & I said "shes not fucking chilling she's gonna wake my toddler up" and she did. My toddler was scared as she woke up to banging and a fucking 6 year old trying to climb into her cot. I went upstairs and told her to please get out. She then started shouting my daughters name - who at this point was absolutely besides herself upset.

I went downstairs and said to my friend "shes woke my child up and im now going to have to deal with an overtired and upset child." She laughed and said "its kids being kids." I then said I was expecting another visitor and she had to leave.

I am so annoyed that she doesnt even TRY control her child. She has damaged books & a trampoline and she just watched her do it. Said nothing. I dont like to tell other peoples kids what to do but I'm livid. She then went and tried to pick my newborn up so I said "no put her down." Too late, she woke her up. She had barely napped so was upset she had been disturbed. My friend said "she just wanted to hold her" so I said "I dont care, i feel disrespected in my own house." And then she left. She then text me saying "was so nice to see you today."

I'm DONE with her.

Opinions please

So my sister, 19 month old and partner were in the front room watching TV. I was in the kitchen so was unaware of what was going on. My sister told me that my partner was trying to get my son's attention just for the sake of it, asking what he's watching and then calling his name to which my son didn't respond. Apparently my partner then said 'I should fly kick you' to my son in a jokey way. Now reading this, you may be thinking what the actual he'll, just as I am! But my partner is just stupid and doesnt even try to filter his words at times and to be honest, for many other reasons I'm thinking about leaving him.

Eventhough he didn't mean this seriously I just think its such an insane thing to say to any child let alone your own!

I havent even questionedhim about it since as he's not really been home since, but I know that if I do ask him about it he'll admit It but not realise the severity of it and probably say/act like I'm being extra

Thoughts and opinions please!

Food

Sorry for the stupid question i am ftm so new to all this. I am just after some advice my 7 month old daughter is not eating 7+ months food properly cos its not mashed up she is eating alittle then just stops. I do give her something else instead but I was just wondering do I persevere with it or just give her the 6+ food and wait til she is ready?

Ok so I’m opening up

Opening up about the most recent incident when he smashed our chest of drawers the night I came home with my newborn after giving birth because my daughter was screaming for “mummy” and not settling and because I wasn’t following his instructions of being in another room and came to soothe her.

Opening up about the times he’s called me a warthog, that I have big flappas since breastfeeding. He’s pointed out the rolls on my back this PP. He tells me my feet are crusty, always comments on my hair being a mess. I cannot remember the last time he said wow you look beautiful or anything along those lines. He says “when you get back in shape”- but the interesting thing is - when I was in shape he didn’t compliment me then anyway!

Opening up about how every single weekend and every single day we do whatever he wants to do. He likes walks, I don’t particularly but I allow him to make that our family weekend. He either takes my daughter for a walk and I miss her loads or I join and I’m never truly feeling it. If our hobbies were balanced I’d feel ALOT happier. But they are not.

Now - he pays for everything when we go out. Meals, food and he cooks dinner for me. He calls me “Matren” if I ask him for my water bottle for example he will say ok and what else do you want “Matren” I’m honestly sick and tired of being called these things. I told him today and he said - I’m sorry you can’t handle it? It’s weird that you can’t handle these teases I’m only teasing you. It’s lighthearted and I don’t mean it, I tease all my friends and family. They don’t mind

Am I just in my feels because I’m postpartum?

Unannounced guests with a newborn

11 day old newborn&2 year old. Recovering from c section.

Am i crazy for sending my cousins away after they showed up at 10am expecting to be let in my house ?

They don’t know what kind of night we had , we could’ve been at a doctors appointment, mind you , anyone else that has come to visit us, has either texts or called to see when would be best. Like normal people.

Not even an hour before they showed up , I just got my husband to sleep after taking care of me all night, who brought our toddler to nap with him because he was also up. I just got my newborn down and quiet in her crib , which almost never happens. And I ran to the store to grab bandages for myself because my c section scar is ripping open. I planned on coming home to shower and rebandage and sleep too. Came home to find them in my driveway. I sent them home (balling my eyes out) , and now I’m once again the crazy person being talked about in my family. …
Please tell me if I was wrong.