Suddenly feeling down at 19 weeks

I'm so happy to be pregnant but lately I've either been feeling completely numb and not there or crying uncontrollably. I feel like I have nobody to open up to either so i can't shake the feeling that I'm completely alone. My boyfriend tries to fix everything immediately rather than comforting me, even if I'm just crying and I can't put my finger on why. My dad passed away when I was young, my mum is abusive and my grandparents have passed too...
I'm terrified that I'll be a terrible mum or be like my mother. I'm just worried constantly and I'm really struggling to look after myself.

I'm not even sure I want a solution, if I just need a vent or I just need to know if somebody has felt the same way as me?

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Need advice!!

Posting as incognito as I don’t want to feel judged! I’ve tried getting hold of my health visitor but she never answers the phone.

My little boy is 13 weeks old and is breast fed, he won’t take to dummies or anything like that.

Since around maybe 11 weeks he has point blank refused to sleep in his next to me (he’s not been too much of a fan sleeping by himself in his own bed since birth but would sleep in there for a good 5 hours) at night time so for 2 weeks I’ve only been able to get him to sleep in bed next to me on the boob, now he also has not been able to sleep without boob in his mouth and if I move an inch or even go for a wee he kicks off immediately (he just wants to be on my boob throughout the whole night) nothing myself or my partner has tried has worked, I’ve tried pumping and giving him a bottle before bed but that made everything 10x worse to the point he refused to sleep for 4 hours. I’ve even tried leaving the room so my partner can try patting him off/ cuddling him but my boy screams to the top of his lungs until I come back and then he’s fine. He also sleeps absolutely fine during his naps too with the occasional fighting his nap time.

He’s had a sleep regression at 12 weeks and is now out of that sleep regression and is also teething but I just genuinely don’t understand why he’s is like this now! I honestly feel like a prisoner in/ tied down to my own bed at night and I’m also starting to dread bed time as I’m not getting a full nights sleep from where he’s stirring looking for my boob constantly/ looking to make sure I’m still there and where my body won’t let me be in a deep sleep where he’s sleeping next to me.

It’s genuinely getting to the point where I’m feeling down and emotional all the time and where I’m not sleeping properly I’m a lot more snappy with my partner/ others than usual.

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