I hate my nanny’s fiancé.

We love our nanny. She has been with us since our 3 year old was 1. He knows no other caregivers besides us and her and he gets so much out of their time together. I trust her to keep him safe and keep him developmentally engaged while maintaining our preferred methods for discipline and structure.
However I HATE her fiancé. I get that they’re young; both 21 so I’ve excused some of his behavior such as the arrogance. The fiancé comes with us on trips so the nanny can come on the trips to work without them being separated for extended periods of time or for her to have to be alone and he pays for himself but sometimes he comes to work with her and is around our child. My husband can’t stand him either. We were previously considering hiring her as a live-in on another house on our multi-acre property we love her so much.
What I don’t like about him is primarily his politics. It wouldn’t bother me as much but he’s very close-minded and I don’t want our kids to like him while he preaches this rhetoric.
Some red flags have been that he doesn’t believe in evolution. It took the nanny a year to convince him that billionaires are unethical and shouldn’t exist. He’s a staunch Christian conservative and we as a family are open to all religions and have people of multiple religions within our family. We do not believe in pushing any one religion upon our children. This may sound like I’m against his beliefs and I guess that in some ways I am because of how much religion becomes intertwined with issues like politics and education. My best friend lost her father to COVID because they were anti-vax. Her father flat out told me at his granddaughter’s birthday party that people should stop listening to science and start listening to the bible shortly before he passed which was even more unsettling considering he was a public school teacher. Our family DOES believe in science which is probably why the fiancés anti-evolution comment bothered me so much.
We would prefer a live-in nanny now that I’m expecting and for them to be able to move and travel with us but I’d hate for my oldest to lose the relationship he has with our current nanny or to fire her because of what her partner said. She herself has done nothing wrong and I have no problems with her being Christian too since she still believes in science, is more left-leaning, and she doesn’t push her religion to our son.
Even though I’d hate to do it should I replace the nanny?
Do I have a right to be this bothered by the fiancé or am I overreacting?

in our community

When did your child start feeding themselves?

Hi! I've never posted here... I hope this is how it goes 🤣 I have 9 month old twin boys who love to eat. They eat table food, but have NO INTEREST in feeding themselves, unless it's like a big wafer. SOMETIMES they'll manage a few puffs. Otherwise they want to be spoon fed and/or pull my hand to their face with finger foods. When did your little one want to bring food to their mouth?

Was your kindergartner this ready??

Could your child do half this list? Or the entire list or very few?

Advice

I went to mess about on my partners phone on his ChatGPT and I seen two saved chats, one was him saying “I’m starting to hate coming home”, “a reason why I’m working so much is so I don’t have to go home”, it’s really hurt me that he feels he can’t come to me and share how he feels instead he has to tell an ai ‘yes man’ robot,
We have a 4 month old baby, I’ve basically been a single parent despite still being in a relationship, he says he has to pick up this much overtime to pay the bills but he works every single day, starts at 4am, some days he starts work at 4am and finishes around 8-9pm,
He also said that the dog at his parents house was going to be left alone overnight whilst his dad worked so he had to go stay there to watch the dog, I seen a message of his from his dad saying he wasn’t working so now im just starting to think he made it up as an excuse not to stay with us in the house.

I don’t know how to word this conversation with him, or if I should even bother attempt to have the conversation with him

Husband Met A Prostitute

I found out my I guess ex husband went to see a prostitute and had drinks with her. He claimed he talked about me … I would be an idiot to believe that’s all they did.

I told him to leave the home for a day. I kicked him out before when he disrespected me. This time, he didn’t come back. And I think it’s good he didn’t but my chest still hurts from it all. I just had my twins August 16th.. im like 40 days post partum or something like that. He left his expensive e-bike charger here. Idk how he’s working if he can’t charge his bike. It’s been four days since he left. I feel like he’s probably with someone right now. I mean it didn’t take that long for him to have sex w me when we first met. He even told me before he’d have sex with a new person to get over me. “He knows this way works.” My chest hurt but I try not to think about it too long for the twins sake. They need my healthy mind. I let some tears fall but I know not to let my chest sink too much. I really wanted a family. I didn’t want to be a single mom — but meeting with a prostitute?? How could I ever forgive that. And then he said she was a friend. Why would you save your friends name as prostitute, block her, and then delete the messages between you two. It all hurts so much. Would anyone want to play iMessage games or talk about life plans or something as a distraction? Wtf am I supposed to do. I just keep going one hour at a time. There’s only so much TikTok to distract me from my heart being crushed.

Would this upset you?

My boyfriend told me tonight that he thinks his life has gone down hill since 25. He’s 29 currently, we’ve known each other for 11 years but only got together 3 years ago when he was 26, our daughter was born in December when he was 28.

Today was my 25th birthday, long story short it was an awful day. Only my mom and my sister acknowledged it was my birthday, I couldn't leave the house because my car is currently broken and my boyfriend is prepping for harvest so he wasn't home until really late.

He asked me how it felt to be 25 and I said it was okay, he said “good, because it only goes downhill from here” so I said “do you really think your life has gone down hill since you were 25” because I thought it must have been a joke.

But no he was dead serious, he then explained to me that not just 25 he thinks his life has gotten worse since he was 23. Which honestly hurt because we got together and our amazing daughter being born has happened since his life ‘got worse’.

Im not crazy right..

Its not normal for your husband to only work, golf, play videogames, and or sleep? He literally only does that and rarely does anything with us (me and our daughter). Like today, he worked, actually gets off work early, but immediately gets a call and goes golfing, I say yes to all these things when he asks bc I want him to have hobbies or otherwise he'll mope. I hate he feels the need to ask but if he would actually be an adult and prioritize his family first, he'd literally never have to *ask* but just SAY hes going and I wouldnt give a fk. But when it comes down to it, I'll express how I feel and he says hes trying and hes sad all the time bc he misses so much time with her but when he has time hes doing only those things. Never asks me if I need time for myself or if we want to go do something. BUT. on the rare occasion he does ask, I HAVE to go with or he wont do it. So please name things ur partners to to be active because I'm at a loss.