Advice for 5yr old

Honestly, I feel for you 😭❤️ Five is such a funny age because they can have so much personality but still really struggle with big emotions and boundaries.
I’d probably focus less on punishments and more on being really consistent with the behaviour you won’t accept. If she hits her sister, calmly separate them and deal with that behaviour straight away. For the arguing and “no” to everything, sometimes keeping your response short and not getting pulled into the back-and-forth can help.
I’d also look at whether anything has changed recently — school, friendships, sleep, routine, family changes etc. Sometimes a big change in behaviour is their way of showing that something is going on when they don’t know how to explain it.
And I completely understand reaching the point where you feel like you’ve tried everything. 😭 You’re not a bad mum for struggling with it. ❤️

Girl, as a Montessori guide and a mom, I promise you, that little girl is not giving you a hard time just for fun… although she might be enjoying a few moments of it. 😂❤️
At five, she's discovering her independence, but her emotional regulation is still under construction. Observe what triggers her, offer choices, and give her meaningful responsibilities. Sometimes children need a little control over their world.
And please give that baby her stuff back! 😂 Her room is her environment, not a crime scene.
Set firm boundaries, especially with hitting, but don't try to discipline the personality out of her.
We don't want to raise a child who never says no. We want to raise one who knows WHEN and HOW to say it. ❤️

I notice my 5yr old gets an attitude when she has things with sugar in it, so i limit her sugar intake. And if she had a sugar snack, i call attention to her behavior so she knows why i don't give her sugar often, and she controls herself cause she doesn't want sugar snacks taken away forever.

When she's tired or bored or when I'm pmsing, i notice she's much more attitudey and so i redirect her (hang out and watch a movie (if tired) art or a family board game (if bored), some chamomile tea if she's picking up my pms since she's very sensitive.

My oldest loved games, and my middle one loved sweets so i used those as things to take away when they were fighting with each other or not doing weekday they were supposed to do, and it worked when time outs had stopped working.

When my middle one hit my oldest, i said how would you like it if she did that to you, don't hit my kid, and she stopped lol but maybe that doesn't work with all kids, but she was very empathetic.