Has anybody feel emotional numbness?

please reach out to a therapist and/or psychiatrist. You deserve help. i felt the same way after i had my daughter and it’s debilitating.

Aww. Lots of love. Light and hope your way.xx

Hey mama. I don’t know you, but I read your post and my heart honestly hurt for you. You have been through SO much, and you’ve been carrying it while continuing to care for three little humans. That is an enormous amount for one person to hold.

I just wanted to tell you something that I hope lands gently: please don’t interpret the numbness as proof that you’ve stopped loving your husband or your babies. After everything you’ve experienced, especially the pregnancy complications, emergency C-section, nearly losing your baby, NICU, PPD, OCD, chronic stress and exhaustion, it makes sense to me that your system might be completely overwhelmed.

Sometimes when we’ve been in survival mode for too long, it isn’t that love disappears. It’s that our access to our emotions becomes really muted. And I can imagine how fucking terrifying that must feel when you look at the people you love most and think, “Why can’t I feel anything?”

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...Please don’t keep checking yourself for feelings either. You don’t have to stare at your husband and ask yourself whether you feel love. You don’t have to force yourself to feel connected to your babies. Just keep doing the loving things while you get support. Feed them, hold them when you want to, sit beside your husband, accept help, rest when you can. The feelings don't have to be present every second for the love to still exist.

And because you mentioned Bipolar 1, dissociation and everything you've been through, I really hope you have a psychiatrist/GP you trust and can tell them exactly what you wrote here. Not because there is something “wrong” with you, but because you deserve proper support through this. You have been carrying an extraordinary amount.

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Most importantly, please be gentle with yourself. You are not a bad mum. You are not broken. And you haven't failed your family because you're struggling to feel right now.

You sound like a woman who has been surviving for a very, very long time.

You deserve to be held too. You matter🤍

Mama, one last thing. Please don't carry the guilt on top of everything else you're already carrying. Your kids and husband don't deserve to have you hurting, yes, but neither do YOU. You are not choosing this. You didn't wake up one day and decide to become numb or overwhelmed. You have been through some incredibly frightening and painful things and you've kept going and kept caring for your family through all of it.

And honestly, the fact that you're so worried about what your babies and husband deserve tells me how deeply you care about them, even if you can't access that feeling properly right now. Your feelings may be quiet, but that doesn't mean your love disappeared.

Please let yourself be a human being in this season, not just a mum who has to hold everyone together. Let people help you. Let your husband see that you need care too. And keep looking for the right professional support, especially given everything you've been through.

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And if you ever need someone to talk to, even though we're strangers, you can message me. No judgement, no fixing you, no expectations. Sometimes you just need another woman to sit beside you in the darkness and remind you that you're still in there. 🤍

One day at a time, mama. You don't have to solve your whole life today just know this, it too shall passs xxxx

Welcome to the club