Am I in the wrong
Long story short my mother in law lives abroad and has no boundaries will call me 3/4/5 times a day for the past 3 years since my daughter is born. My husband works all day so she calls me. She calls me either really early in the morning , at my babies nap time or after nap time when I’m trying to prepare lunch etc. I’ve explained to her before she needs to stop calling at nap time because then I look like the bi**h for ignoring her calls. If I text her and say sorry my daughter is sleeping right now she will reply that’s ok I want to speak to you but I’m trying to have a 30 min break to myself to shower or eat or clean whatever … She still continues to call and if I don’t answer she will keep answering. Then I get anxiety to find time to call her even if I’m busy or out so that I don’t look bad ignoring her then she will sit on the phone hardly saying anything just repeating my daughters name calling her on the phone and dealing with her customers(she runs her own buisness) all weekend she will be on FaceTime to my husband like 5 times a day and on holiday etc. A couple days ago she called during nap time and I didn’t answer I’ve been really exhausted lately. She seems to think because I’m a stay at home mum that I just sit around relaxing all day. Anyways I went about my day and after nap time and getting my housework done I went for a coffee with my daughter and my husband met us after work. We are all happy enjoying our coffee date and his mom is already on the phone and turns around to me and goes “I’ve called you three times today why havnt you answered” I explained to her that I’ve been super tired . I felt like she done it to shine a light on me and put me on the spot and bait me out to my husband. After the call I said to my husband she has no right to question me and I don’t have to explain myself to her and who is she to question me. His answer is always “you know how she is” but I felt like she done it maliciously to cause trouble with my husband and I and I didn’t like it. Anyways he got really mad o said she has no right to question me and we have had these arguments before she has no understanding of personal space or normal boundaries. My husband got really mad I said “who is she to question me” and hasn’t spoke to me for 4 days. Which is really extreme we never ever go this long without squashing and argument the hour later. He said I should respect his mum and all this and that. I am really hurt how far he’s taking this and said that whenever he says anything about my family I try to understand his point of view and support him before always jumping in the defensive.
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You’re definitely not wrong! Message me if you ever want to talk as I’m going through the same exact thing
I'd give her a week to learn to respect my boundaries or have the ultimatium of being blocked.
That amount of communication is wayyyy past normal. I call my own parents MAYBE once a week. And I love my parents.
If you’re tired, you wouldn’t want to go out and talk to anyone. It’s not a personal offense to not want to talk. Especially as a mom to a baby, every moment counts, and when someone wastes your time like that and makes you feel anxious, that’s so inconsiderate of her.
Maybe tell your husband that talking to her distracts you from looking after the baby, and when baby is asleep, you’re catching up on chores and rest. A normal mom doesn’t have that much time for ANYONE - IT’s NOT PERSONAL.
I’d ignore them both and just focus on the baby. If he doesn’t want to be understanding then I would just stop talking to him or keep my distance because that’s the last thing that I would need right now. Your partner is supposed to support you right now and instead he’s adding to the stress and is making you feel lonely.
Do whatever is best for you. Set your boundaries and stick to them. If you’re mother in law doesn’t want to respect that and be understanding then it looks like you’re going to have to keep distance.
Sounds like an African mother inlaw🤣irony of life some mother in laws don’t even bother to call wether baby is involved or not ..from my point of view she loves you and her grandchild reasons she wants to hear from you guys but if I were you whenever she calls pick the call talk for 30 seconds and her know that you are busy and will speak to her again soon whenever you miss her call drop a msg that you will ring later 👋 for peace sake.
It makes me so upset honestly it’s like I have big brother cameras in my house. When my husband gets home from work she knows the time he’s home and she will call straight away
Early in the morning on weekend when my husband is off she’s on the camera , if I go toilet I come out she’s on camera if I shower I come out she’s on camera if I skim past the camera and go in kitchen and do my own thing she will shout hi like no personal space whatsoever
I’m actually fed up I don’t want to live like this.
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Am I in the wrong
Long story short my mother in law lives abroad and has no boundaries will call me 3/4/5 times a day for the past 3 years since my daughter is born. My husband works all day so she calls me. She calls me either really early in the morning , at my babies nap time or after nap time when I’m trying to prepare lunch etc. I’ve explained to her before she needs to stop calling at nap time because then I look like the bi**h for ignoring her calls. If I text her and say sorry my daughter is sleeping right now she will reply that’s ok I want to speak to you but I’m trying to have a 30 min break to myself to shower or eat or clean whatever … She still continues to call and if I don’t answer she will keep answering. Then I get anxiety to find time to call her even if I’m busy or out so that I don’t look bad ignoring her then she will sit on the phone hardly saying anything just repeating my daughters name calling her on the phone and dealing with her customers(she runs her own buisness) all weekend she will be on FaceTime to my husband like 5 times a day and on holiday etc. A couple days ago she called during nap time and I didn’t answer I’ve been really exhausted lately. She seems to think because I’m a stay at home mum that I just sit around relaxing all day. Anyways I went about my day and after nap time and getting my housework done I went for a coffee with my daughter and my husband met us after work. We are all happy enjoying our coffee date and his mom is already on the phone and turns around to me and goes “I’ve called you three times today why havnt you answered” I explained to her that I’ve been super tired . I felt like she done it to shine a light on me and put me on the spot and bait me out to my husband. After the call I said to my husband she has no right to question me and I don’t have to explain myself to her and who is she to question me. His answer is always “you know how she is” but I felt like she done it maliciously to cause trouble with my husband and I and I didn’t like it. Anyways he got really mad o said she has no right to question me and we have had these arguments before she has no understanding of personal space or normal boundaries. My husband got really mad I said “who is she to question me” and hasn’t spoke to me for 4 days. Which is really extreme we never ever go this long without squashing and argument the hour later. He said I should respect his mum and all this and that. I am really hurt how far he’s taking this and said that whenever he says anything about my family I try to understand his point of view and support him before always jumping in the defensive.
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Break time.
Being told I don’t need a break because he provides for me. All I asked is for some help. Something as simple as getting a two hour break. Not everyday but on days I’m really tired.
Outside of motherhood I’m a human and I find it insane that him taking breaks by going out and doing whatever he pleases it’s not a problem, me asking to get a few hours to myself is and that he is not obligated to take care of our child if he doesn’t feel like it.
I’ll let that sit here.
3
64
Is my boyfriend too traditional or selfish?
He says he gives 8 hours of his life to his job M-F and he’s tired of coming home to do things he doesn’t want to/be inconvenienced. He’s talking about watching our son while I go to the food pantry. I can’t take our son because it’s a lot for me as I’m 8 months pregnant. My son is 10 months pregnant.
He was raised in a traditional home where his mom would do everything for him and his dad would work. He never did the dishes, cooked, or did his own laundry. I know he expects the same from me. I am trying my best to give him that since I’m a SAHM but i’m not used to doing that. In my eyes we should be 50/50 or he could help out a little more.
We also have two pets that he barely takes care of. I’m stuck cleaning our cat’s litter box (even though i shouldn’t while pregnant) or else it won’t get done.
1
10
Being alone w/ baby
My son just turned 4 weeks today. I’ve been lucky enough to have my husband home for the first two weeks to help out. Once he went back to work, my mom took two weeks off to stay with me. She goes back to work tomorrow and I’ve been so nervous to have to spend the entire day with my newborn alone. He’s a good baby and I know what I’m doing for the most part but he cries alot and doesn’t like to be put down at all - especially for naps. It’s been nice to have another set of hands around to help out. Any advice or words of encouragement?
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I want everyone’s opinion on what my husband said today
He wants me to up for disability so I have money that’s “mine and that I can use on stuff for me” I’m 28, I was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I’m a stay at home mom of 2 boys under 2, I take care of my step kids every other weekend ( kids
He had before we got together 9 and 12 years old) I cook every meal, do all the laundry, cleaning and pet care ( dog, 2 cats and a bearded dragon) I literally am the only reason he got through nursing school and graduated in May as an RN…..like should I be upset or
Sad that he thinks I should be on disability and it’s not “his money because he works” and “you need to have money that is yours for you”
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Is the normal?
My partner constantly games or is asleep I haven’t wanted to be intimate for a bit and he got mad and wouldn’t even be in the same bed as me. I feel like I’m in this alone what should I do? I try and bring it up but then
He get angry or upset and walks out or argues so I get stressed I’m 8-9 weeks x just need to know what I should do I love him but idk what’s the best. I feel like hes emotionally check out and idk what to do to make him realize.
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