I want everyone’s opinion on what my husband said today

He wants me to up for disability so I have money that’s “mine and that I can use on stuff for me” I’m 28, I was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I’m a stay at home mom of 2 boys under 2, I take care of my step kids every other weekend ( kids
He had before we got together 9 and 12 years old) I cook every meal, do all the laundry, cleaning and pet care ( dog, 2 cats and a bearded dragon) I literally am the only reason he got through nursing school and graduated in May as an RN…..like should I be upset or
Sad that he thinks I should be on disability and it’s not “his money because he works” and “you need to have money that is yours for you”

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Tbh I feel like that’s fucked up! Sounds like both of yall work tbh. I hate when men think being a sahm means we’re lazy and do absolutely nothing all day!!! Like be so fkn fr! We literally carry everything on our shoulders! It’s a 24 hr job that never stops. Him being your husband he shouldn’t be like that with you. As a man he should want to provide. You take care of the home and children and he works… yall are help mates… now if you want to apply for disability bc you really need it, that’s fine too but he shouldn’t make it seem like that’s the only help you get. If it’s too much for him he shouldn’t keep adding kids to the situation and animals if he can’t afford everything on his plate. Yall not just dating, yall are married. My opinion but I know I can be a lil harsh and I could be wrong so sorry if I am… again my opinion

He put it in a weird way forsure. But what’s the harm of having some extra money for yourself? I personally wouldn’t be all that upset, now if you were to get denied and him still say it’s his money and not yours guys money then I would have a problem.

Why on earth would you be offended over this ?? He’s suggesting you get extra income in that you can do what you want with.
I swear women make their own life’s harder by being offended by absolutely anyway , the comment by nichole for example … at what stage does this say anything about the husband saying she’s lazy and does nothing.

Sensitive sally (Helen) good thing I wasn’t talking to you

He said “his money bc HE works” as if she doesn’t work or do anything

I think he made it sound wrong but I mean what’s the harm in applying for disability? I say maybe talk to him like does he not buy you things you want or need ? Like is he trying to say your a burden or are you guys just low on money ?

mmhmmm nope negative nope nope nope you guys are married. what’s his is yours what’s yours is his. when you got married you become one person. while you can still apply for disability. saying it’s my money while in a marriage has always rubbed me the wrong way. you absolutely can be upset by that. AND on top of that you work too being a mom is a 24/7 job no breaks no days off nothing.

You literally paved the way for him to be able to fulfill his dream so absolutely NOT, he needs to keep the same energy he had then and make sure you’re taken care of seeing as though you seem to be the pillar of the household!

Okay and get your bag. Why wouldnt you want the extra money? My husband says you can find a job from home so you can have money. Thats does not mean I dont get money from him. That means I get extra money for me and the baby without having to worry about money for fun things (money that he wont get). And I still get his money. And any extra money I would make would be put up because we dont need that second income to it wouldnt get used for everyday things or any bills he takes care off

in our community

Am I in the wrong

Long story short my mother in law lives abroad and has no boundaries will call me 3/4/5 times a day for the past 3 years since my daughter is born. My husband works all day so she calls me. She calls me either really early in the morning , at my babies nap time or after nap time when I’m trying to prepare lunch etc. I’ve explained to her before she needs to stop calling at nap time because then I look like the bi**h for ignoring her calls. If I text her and say sorry my daughter is sleeping right now she will reply that’s ok I want to speak to you but I’m trying to have a 30 min break to myself to shower or eat or clean whatever … She still continues to call and if I don’t answer she will keep answering. Then I get anxiety to find time to call her even if I’m busy or out so that I don’t look bad ignoring her then she will sit on the phone hardly saying anything just repeating my daughters name calling her on the phone and dealing with her customers(she runs her own buisness) all weekend she will be on FaceTime to my husband like 5 times a day and on holiday etc. A couple days ago she called during nap time and I didn’t answer I’ve been really exhausted lately. She seems to think because I’m a stay at home mum that I just sit around relaxing all day. Anyways I went about my day and after nap time and getting my housework done I went for a coffee with my daughter and my husband met us after work. We are all happy enjoying our coffee date and his mom is already on the phone and turns around to me and goes “I’ve called you three times today why havnt you answered” I explained to her that I’ve been super tired . I felt like she done it to shine a light on me and put me on the spot and bait me out to my husband. After the call I said to my husband she has no right to question me and I don’t have to explain myself to her and who is she to question me. His answer is always “you know how she is” but I felt like she done it maliciously to cause trouble with my husband and I and I didn’t like it. Anyways he got really mad o said she has no right to question me and we have had these arguments before she has no understanding of personal space or normal boundaries. My husband got really mad I said “who is she to question me” and hasn’t spoke to me for 4 days. Which is really extreme we never ever go this long without squashing and argument the hour later. He said I should respect his mum and all this and that. I am really hurt how far he’s taking this and said that whenever he says anything about my family I try to understand his point of view and support him before always jumping in the defensive.

Break time.

Being told I don’t need a break because he provides for me. All I asked is for some help. Something as simple as getting a two hour break. Not everyday but on days I’m really tired.

Outside of motherhood I’m a human and I find it insane that him taking breaks by going out and doing whatever he pleases it’s not a problem, me asking to get a few hours to myself is and that he is not obligated to take care of our child if he doesn’t feel like it.

I’ll let that sit here.

Is my boyfriend too traditional or selfish?

He says he gives 8 hours of his life to his job M-F and he’s tired of coming home to do things he doesn’t want to/be inconvenienced. He’s talking about watching our son while I go to the food pantry. I can’t take our son because it’s a lot for me as I’m 8 months pregnant. My son is 10 months pregnant.

He was raised in a traditional home where his mom would do everything for him and his dad would work. He never did the dishes, cooked, or did his own laundry. I know he expects the same from me. I am trying my best to give him that since I’m a SAHM but i’m not used to doing that. In my eyes we should be 50/50 or he could help out a little more.

We also have two pets that he barely takes care of. I’m stuck cleaning our cat’s litter box (even though i shouldn’t while pregnant) or else it won’t get done.

Being alone w/ baby

My son just turned 4 weeks today. I’ve been lucky enough to have my husband home for the first two weeks to help out. Once he went back to work, my mom took two weeks off to stay with me. She goes back to work tomorrow and I’ve been so nervous to have to spend the entire day with my newborn alone. He’s a good baby and I know what I’m doing for the most part but he cries alot and doesn’t like to be put down at all - especially for naps. It’s been nice to have another set of hands around to help out. Any advice or words of encouragement?