Am I in the wrong for this?

So my (21f) good friend (20f) (let’s call her Jenna) have birthdays in the same week. I am three months postpartum and two weeks post cancer surgery so it’s hard for me to plan anything for my birthday (let alone anything else)
So I went into our friends group chat and tried talking about my birthday and what we could do, I even asked Jenna if she wanted to have something conjoined to avoid having the stresses of planning something. As soon as I sent that message she came in there and immediately started talking about her birthday, and basically just said “fuck no” to the conjoined birthday idea.
This isn’t the only time she does this, whenever I try to talk about something that’s bothering me, or something that’s going on in my life she feels the need to bring the conversation back to being about herself. I’ll tell her that I’m really struggling with postpartum and I feel like I don’t have a lot of support and she’ll just jump in and go “yeah girl I feel you. I just got broken up with and it’s so hard” and she’ll just send multiple LONG messages about what she’s going through to drown out my message. She’s been doing it since we were younger but honestly this is my breaking point. I just wanted to celebrate my birthday with my friends and now I won’t even be able to bc everyone got HER birthday off and I was basically just told to kick rocks. I really don’t get why having a conjoined birthday celebration with a good friend of yours when she’s struggling is such a horrible idea.
So AITA for refusing to go to my friend’s birthday celebration bc she clearly doesn’t care about mine or what I’m going through?

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NTA, I wouldn’t go either, excuse my language but she’s clearly a self centred b word 🤷🏽‍♀️

this is not a friend you need in your life, especially postpartum and recovering from surgery which is i would say doubley hard. maybe private message her and tell how you feel about how it would be easier to have a conjoined birthday, if she starts making it all about herself then that gives you the answer. and seeing as she has previously made it about herself in the past you are going to have to make some friendship sacrifices for your own sake and future. keeping people like that in your life will only bring you down more, my baby hasn’t even been born yet and i have had to cut quite a few people from my life and yes it will suck for a bit, but having people around you in life that love and support no matter what and can listen and help you is always the way, friendships need to be 50/50. hope it all works out though and she listens instead of just talking about herself!!

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