I told my husband I miss "us" after having a baby & he got offended.

After the baby arrived, all our conversations have become about the baby. It makes me feel extremely bad. I expressed to my husband that im starting to feel lonely and want him to talk to me too. But he took it as a blame or complaint against him. I thought he would be happy to hear i miss him but it ended into an argument which hurt me more. How can i make him understand? Im almost starting to regret having a baby because I feel i lost him.

in our community

Partners and resentment / postpartum rage - what is the division of labour everyone doing and how are you coping ?

My partner works fully remotely yet does only 1-2 hours of childcare a day and sleeps in a separate room. I think he’s not doing enough but what’s your routine / schedules like ?

We have been sleeping in separate bedrooms since I was about 34 weeks pregnant. Now our baby is 3.5 months old we’ve sort of carried it on. Initially I was ok with this as I was recovering from a c section but I’m getting resentful I do every single night feed/change/bottle run with baby and hoping him being in the room means he does some and becomes part of this experience too. She still has 3 feeds a night, I don’t co sleep and she’s combi fed so it’s not like it’s all on me BF. When our baby was born my partner did three weeks of the night shifts with the baby before returning to work so he’s very bonded with her and capable.

I’ve repeatedly asked him when he’s coming back into the bedroom and he’s made a million excuses, ‘it’s too hot, he needs his sleep because he’s working etc…
And I’ve also asked him to do just bedtime or any overnight support - even on weekends he doesn’t, he will on a Sunday or Saturday take the baby ‘early’ from 8am so I can have a lie in. But he refuses any other night engagement and so doesn’t see or touch the baby between 6.30pm - 9.30am. The few times we have shared a bed he’s not stirred at all in the night when she’s crying next to us. It feels intentional because how can he just sleep through it?!

On the otherside of the coin he does 50% of bathtimes, occasionally takes baby out for a few hours so I can rest or relax, does dinner 90% of the time, orders all the formula and nappies, does the food shop, does most of the laundry, pays for all bills and the house (which is in his name anyway). But I have the baby a solid 22/23 hours a day and he genuinely says well you’re on holiday you’re not working. He has quite a traditional belief system so sees his role as provider not caregiver which drives me nuts as I’d rather equality not division.

What’s more frustrating is that I know his job isn’t that demanding at the moment because he goes 2hr daily gym sessions during his work day as well as all day drinks with colleagues and friends. I feel like I have to ask permission to go to the dentist or have a haircut when he’s just booking lad trips away or nights out left right and centre.

Ultimately I feel like we are living two separate realities under the same roof.

Is this how it is for everyone else on mat leave ? How are we dealing with our partners, managing rage and becoming a default parent ? Am I expecting too much - is this just what motherhood is?

EBF - healthy snacks

Waking up multiple times in the night to feed my little one and I end up eating biscuits or chocolate whilst feeding

Any healthy snack suggestions which would be easy for me to eat with one hand? (No nut suggestions)

Juggling daycare and working full time

Is it normal to only be able to spend like 2…3 hrs with your children a day when your working full time? I just got a job and when I get home with my daughter from daycare that’s all we get before she has to go to bed! Went from both of us being home all day every day to this…if so how do you handle the thought of some person spending more time with your children than YOU. My daughter is 13 months.

Having fever before birthday

My son decided to have a high fever and it’s a few days to his birthday is this normal or I should be worried ? I noticed he’s fourth teeth is popping out

How to night time potty train?

How many times do you get them up at night? What time do you cut off liquids? Do you put them in underwear & hope for the best lol, I feel like if I did pull ups while wake ups, will still call for accidents

Spending time with baby.

Hi mamas, I have recently been accepted into Nursing school & while I am so excited I can’t help but feel like such a bad mommy. I am a single mom by choice, I adopted my son when he was 2 months old, so it’s always been just me & him! I work Monday - Friday 8 am - 5 pm where he is at daycare all day & then now that I am starting school I signed up for evening classes which will also be Monday - Friday 6 pm - 10 pm. By the time I get home he will be sleeping & I will really only get to hangout with him on the weekends. It is a year program so he will turn 2 in January & when I graduate he will be 1 month away from turning 3. I cannot help but feel like i will be missing so much of my sweet baby. Should I continue school now or wait until he’s older & can understand? I’m just so torn & feel like he won’t remember me or will think i abandoned him🥺