Spending time with baby.

Hi mamas, I have recently been accepted into Nursing school & while I am so excited I can’t help but feel like such a bad mommy. I am a single mom by choice, I adopted my son when he was 2 months old, so it’s always been just me & him! I work Monday - Friday 8 am - 5 pm where he is at daycare all day & then now that I am starting school I signed up for evening classes which will also be Monday - Friday 6 pm - 10 pm. By the time I get home he will be sleeping & I will really only get to hangout with him on the weekends. It is a year program so he will turn 2 in January & when I graduate he will be 1 month away from turning 3. I cannot help but feel like i will be missing so much of my sweet baby. Should I continue school now or wait until he’s older & can understand? I’m just so torn & feel like he won’t remember me or will think i abandoned him🥺

in our community

Partners and resentment / postpartum rage - what is the division of labour everyone doing and how are you coping ?

My partner works fully remotely yet does only 1-2 hours of childcare a day and sleeps in a separate room. I think he’s not doing enough but what’s your routine / schedules like ?

We have been sleeping in separate bedrooms since I was about 34 weeks pregnant. Now our baby is 3.5 months old we’ve sort of carried it on. Initially I was ok with this as I was recovering from a c section but I’m getting resentful I do every single night feed/change/bottle run with baby and hoping him being in the room means he does some and becomes part of this experience too. She still has 3 feeds a night, I don’t co sleep and she’s combi fed so it’s not like it’s all on me BF. When our baby was born my partner did three weeks of the night shifts with the baby before returning to work so he’s very bonded with her and capable.

I’ve repeatedly asked him when he’s coming back into the bedroom and he’s made a million excuses, ‘it’s too hot, he needs his sleep because he’s working etc…
And I’ve also asked him to do just bedtime or any overnight support - even on weekends he doesn’t, he will on a Sunday or Saturday take the baby ‘early’ from 8am so I can have a lie in. But he refuses any other night engagement and so doesn’t see or touch the baby between 6.30pm - 9.30am. The few times we have shared a bed he’s not stirred at all in the night when she’s crying next to us. It feels intentional because how can he just sleep through it?!

On the otherside of the coin he does 50% of bathtimes, occasionally takes baby out for a few hours so I can rest or relax, does dinner 90% of the time, orders all the formula and nappies, does the food shop, does most of the laundry, pays for all bills and the house (which is in his name anyway). But I have the baby a solid 22/23 hours a day and he genuinely says well you’re on holiday you’re not working. He has quite a traditional belief system so sees his role as provider not caregiver which drives me nuts as I’d rather equality not division.

What’s more frustrating is that I know his job isn’t that demanding at the moment because he goes 2hr daily gym sessions during his work day as well as all day drinks with colleagues and friends. I feel like I have to ask permission to go to the dentist or have a haircut when he’s just booking lad trips away or nights out left right and centre.

Ultimately I feel like we are living two separate realities under the same roof.

Is this how it is for everyone else on mat leave ? How are we dealing with our partners, managing rage and becoming a default parent ? Am I expecting too much - is this just what motherhood is?

Having fever before birthday

My son decided to have a high fever and it’s a few days to his birthday is this normal or I should be worried ? I noticed he’s fourth teeth is popping out

Spending time with baby.

Job change now I have 2 children. Currently a childrens social worker

I am a children's social worker so 36 hours full time 9-5. Background has always been kids ( sen worker in schools, teaching assistant, higher teacher assistant in an sen school, family support worker in social care SEN and now my current role as a children's social worker.

However now I have 2 kids 1 2.5yrs and a 2 week old. I want to just utilise the 30 hours funded childcare.

Unsure what jobs to go into. I have a lots of suggestions from AI but now overwhelmed because there's so many options.

Can anyone think of good roles to support my my kids doing term time hours at a nursery.

Somethings I was thinking of maternity support worker- 8pm-8am I was in hospital for a few days so got talking to staff who are parents and do this job because it allows them to do pick up and drop off without issues. I was thinking a school social worker ( hard to get) discharge social worker at a hospital ( never see these advertised though) im thinking something like a hospital because its 24 hours so can be flexible with shift pattern i think! Anyway any suggestions are welcome.

Men are lame

Do recently I joined two different Bible studies and I try to work on them throughout the week especially when my fiance is homeso he could sit with her if shes fussy and stuff like that yesterday i tried doing that maybe 5 minutes in he walks into the living room and says “shes being fussy and i donr know why
So i go in the room and change her diaper then go back to the living room maybe a minute later he comes back out and lays the baby down and says he has to go to the bathroom maybe half an hour later he comes back out of the bathroom and at this point ive givenup on doing my bible study work he walks right past me not even trying to take the baby back a little while later I tried to have a conversation with him and basically say lole how can i eventually go back to school or anything like that if when your home you cant even waych her for an hour so i can do a bible study he told me he doesn’t wanna spend his fays off watching a baby and he wants to do things he likes on his days off what do i do

Food throwing

Any tips of stopping food throwing/dropping?

I know this is a normal part of development and you’re not meant to react, however my issue is, is that we also have a kitten who when the food is dropped acts like he’s never been fed in his life and with our food often containing garlic and other things that at poisonous to cats I basically have to race the cat to the food, which my daughter finds hilarious which is encouraging it more.

Even if I sternly tell her no and that it’s not funny she just laughs in my face, I’m not sure what to do to not make it a game to her because I can’t leave it on the floor because of the cat.

Spending time with baby.

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in our community

Partners and resentment / postpartum rage - what is the division of labour everyone doing and how are you coping ?

Having fever before birthday

Spending time with baby.

Job change now I have 2 children. Currently a childrens social worker

Men are lame

Food throwing