Toddler and new born
I have just given birth a couple of weeks ago and also have a 3 year old. My husband works from home and works for himself which I would’ve considered lucky. Before we gave birth we agreed that he would mainly be responsible for our toddler along helping with newborn as I can’t drive and lift heavy after c-section.
My husband takes our toddler to nursery around 7:30am and picks him up at 6pm and does night routine with him. My husband does not help out at all with new born during the night and says he needs to have a good night sleep to wake up early to deal with our son. He helps during the day here and there when I want to eat and shower but rushes to give baby back as soon as I’m done.
My new born does not sleep long in the night and cluster feeds too. I breastfeed but also pump to make it easier. I am so mentally drained. On top of that my c-section incision is infected and opened up, presumably from doing too much. I can’t remember the last time I slept longer than 2 hours and in the night I probably get 3 hours all round due to my nb staying awake for a while. I honestly just feel like crying most days from exhaustion and I can’t help but feel like I should have a lot bit more help during the night. Even if it was just one day a week. Then again I understand dealing with our son and working too.
Im just abit torn on whether I should be getting more help than I am.
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It sounds like you have a similar set up to us - my husband takes on most of the care of our two year old eg bath time, bed time in the evenings and nursery drop off and pick up. I look after the newborn during the day and do all of night wakings whilst my husband sleeps in a different room to make sure he gets a good night sleep to do the morning wake up with toddler . I guess our difference would be that my husband takes the newborn for a 2-3 hour shift after toddlers bed time to allow me to go to bed earlier, I make sure she is fed and asleep before he takes her, so it really is just cuddling her while he watches tv until around 11.30/midnight. It’s easy for him but honestly makes a world of different for me.
Thank you, that has put a lot more perspective on it x
This sounds quite like my situation, my scar has also just opened too!
TBH I’m fine with how things are at the moment, I try and go back to sleep in morning once my eldest has gone to school and baby is napping. Have you been able to do that?
Could your partner feed him a bottle in the evening so you can go to sleep early?
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