maternity leave

how long do i really NEED to take for maternity leave? i live with family currently due to poor financial situation and i cannot afford to lose my job im barely afloat as is and just got this one and im worried having to take a leave in ab 2 months will be an issue, how short can i reasonably make this? its just a cashiering job so hopefully i won't have to take very long?? i just can't afford to not work and i worry that they will let me go

in our community

High sex drive

I’ve always had a really high sex drive, but when I met my now husband, I was OBSESSED with him 😂🔥 We wouldn’t see each other every day because of work and other things, but whenever we did, we could easily have sex three times a day, around 3 or 4 times a week.

Then we moved in together, and somehow it got even worse. I was so horny that just waking up next to him was enough to get me going. I’d jump on him in the morning, again as soon as we got home from work, and then again after dinner during our chill time. This was pretty much every single day, apart from the first few days of my period, and it went on for a couple of years.

Then he proposed, and my sex drive somehow reached a whole new level. There were nights when we’d have sex five times! We got married, and I swear I still couldn’t get enough of him. I just loved having him inside me, kissing him, touching him, everything. I’d try anything with him, even things I used to find disgusting before meeting him. Somehow, with him, it was all fun, exciting, and a massive turn on 🥵

Then we had our daughter, but even pregnancy didn’t really slow us down. We kept having sex every day, although during the last trimester it went down to once a day. After giving birth, waiting the full six weeks felt like torture. I even asked my midwife if I could start earlier, but she said no, so I waited until I was cleared.

And guess what? As soon as we could, we were back at it two or three times a day!

My husband has never complained about my sex drive, and honestly, I feel so lucky that we have such a passionate sex life. I still can’t get enough of him!

So, my question is, are there other women like me? Is it normal to have such a ridiculously high sex drive?

Losing a "best friend"

Honestly I just really need to vent and feeling absolutely gutted so would appreciate no negative comments please.

Long one but will try to keep short🥹...

So I have this friend who I consider(considered) one of my two best friends, likewise she always referred to me as her "bestie". Weve been friends for around 3yrs. Got close quick, you know the rest.

Adult life adults as it does and we were able to meet up I'd say every 4 months, but would continuously text and respond either daily or up to 5 days in between.

Great friend, very supportive, mature, funny, thoughtful -- for the most part.

One thing I did notice though is how she doesn't really have any other friends, the odd ones here and there, and then the work girls (all pretty common and very normal of course). She had one other best friend who she wouldnt exactly talk positively about, but I wouldn't say negative. Until they went on a holiday last year and never spoke again, and suddenly she started speaking badly about her and of course as a close friend I just believed what she was saying, why wouldn't I? But something in me didn't sit right, how could you go on holiday together and then just never speak again and unfollow etc... something mustve happened and it doesnt make sense that you just "cba with her" anymore. Bare in mind they were friends for I think near on 10yrs.

I got pregnant early last year and she was amazing, so supportive and so happy for me. I dont have any sisters just one brother who, due to a high level of autism, would never have children, likewise my partners brother would never (I think... manifesting it🥲). So I pick my friends wisely and consider them family, meaning they will be referred to as my childrens aunties.

Like I said previously she really was a great friend, but she would always be so vague about herself, I felt like I would always be talking about myself and no matter how much I try and ask about her its like I have to ask a million questions to know anything ever. How is that a best friend?? Nevertheless, I ignored it as some people just are very private and thats that.

Late last year she became pregnant herself and I was (and she) absolutely over the moon, it was the best possible news. Fast forward just a couple months later and unfortunately the baby didnt make it. Awful, so so sad, was gutted and she was having a hard time, so as a friend does I checked up on her daily etc. you know the rest. Eventually she came around and was looking to the future. During this time her whole attitude changed and rarely asked about my little one and I just got a vibe that I couldnt talk about him, even when I did her replies just didnt match the previous energy. Fast forward a few more months and shes pregnant again. Amazing, so so happy, cried with happiness for her and for my babies future "cousin".

Now this is where she really really changed. I could account for the previous attitude change as obviously goes without saying, she suffered a loss of a child. But even with being pregnant she just had a whole personality change and became very snappy with anything I say and as previously mentioned, still never making the effort to know anything about my child or be there for me (I've had a little PPD, nothing too serious).

Anything I say to her that could be even remotely negative, like for example as you mummas know some days can be awful, other days are perfect. But if I ever mentioned anything about having a hard day or baby upset with teething, her responses would be so blunt and like she just doesnt want to hear it. Just to make clear I am a VERY positive person, I'm not some complainer that moans about everything, just honest.

I have asked her 4-5 times now when she is available to meet up and every single time she says she doesnt know but will let me know... she never does.

So it got to a point where, I believed as I was being told, that she was working 24/7 and never had time to see anyone but family on weekends sometimes and god knows what else, like I said before, you have to really pry to get anything out of her. So I sent her a long, positive but real message telling her to come out and stop burning herself out at work, its so important to see friends and that you honestly do not realise the freedom you have before children and that when baby is here you shouldnt worry about anyone else but your little family so lets meet up whilst we can even if its the odd hour pop in and I can bring her some cravings etc etc. you get the point.

WORLD WAR THREE. She was raging with me and took everything I said completely an utterly out of context. Didnt want to talk to me for days until I reached out to her saying please lets stop this. Didnt want to meet me to talk in person as she just needs positivity, even though I havent said anything remotely negative and cleared up any points and quotes she made of my messages.

Since all of this (past month and a bit) I have realised that on her 3 recent insta posts I get the bluntest responses, and yesterday her second closest friend who she works with has commented the words "bestie", as she has back to her. So what I'm taking from this is that shes now designated this other girl as a best mate instead of me🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ as if were children.

I ask her when shes available to meet up as we need to get a date in. And once again she says shes not free and very very busy and once again drops in the positive comment about keeping everything positive, implying that seeing someone that you call your best friend isnt postive???? Oh and just to add when asking about her home situation she decides to say oh yes weve moved out.... like thats a HUGE life change and you didnt think to tell me that and respond with "but I dont want to talk about that right now" huh??

Like I am extremely busy at the moment I dont get a moment to even see family but happy to plan a meet up with her and she wont even attempt to try and give me a date in the next couple months.

I fucking give up and I genuinely feel like I am greiving. It hurts when you put so much into a friendship and as you mums know its lovely and pretty important to have friends who knew you before you became a parent. I genuinely hand on heart can say I have done nothing wrong and am absolutely clueless and hurt as to why this has happened.

Thanks for reading if you got to the end🥹🥹 just needed to vent and hopefully someone can relate??

💗🤍

No sex

I’m going on 11 weeks pregnant. My husband and I have had sex 1 time since I’ve been pregnant. I just absolutely dread it. I just feel weird having sex pregnant even though I’m still early. Plus I already don’t feel comfortable in my body even though I’m not really showing yet. I feel like I just look like I’ve gained weight weight/bloated. I feel bad because I know
There is a disconnect between us because of it. There’s no intimacy. We sort of just locked in everyday routine. Idk I know I should put more effort. Anyone else going through this?

Am I the crazy one?

Right, hear me out! 6 weeks ago my fiance and partner of 10 years cheated on me with a girl from work he’s had a ‘connection with’ for many years.

We have split up, but living in the same home as we need to sell it and have a 2 year old + I’m pregnant.

He’s like dating this girl from work now and he’s messaging her constantly which is rating the fuck out of me as he’s at times ignoring our daughter but whatever.

His birthday is Tuesday, our daughter has chicken pox so is unwell and out of childcare. I work Tuesday Wednesday Thursday. He’s planning to go out Tuesday night with the girl and get a hotel, whatever idc about that (although he forgets we have dogs that sleep with him and when he’s not here they wake me and our daughter up through the night barking so that’s great!).. anyway, he’s saying he doesn’t need to rush back Wednesday, I said well I need to work (I’m wfh apart from a few visits) and our daughter is off, he’s not bothered and suggested I TAKE LEAVE!!! He says it’s his birthday so he’ll so what he wants. He cannot see why I’m furious with him and think it’s me being unreasonable. I don’t wanna talk to family and friends for an opinion, so I’m coming here to see if I’m mental?

Anyone else feel lonely

Feel so lonely sometimes, don't have any mummy friends at all , I was in a what's app group with others that had babies around my daughter's age but then they removed me from the chat and I dunno why 🥺😞

Leave or stay?

Would you leave if your husband said he hated you?