Would you let the father be in delivery room?
Hi, I'm struggling with deciding if I should let my babys father be in the delivery room. Our relationship started off decent, then we moved in together and its just went completely downhill. We arent even really together just living together. He sleeps on couch for the last couple months while I sleep in my bed. He has only ever been to one US appt. I had 3, invited him to the other 2, but because he was mad at me during those two, he didnt show up. He has maybe asked about baby twice, & once while he was drunk. He hasn't been there for me emotionally, and has pretty much stressed me out this entire pregnancy. Instead of worrying about the baby and me, he was constantly worrying about other guys on social media or exes that would randomly pop up in my messages. To be clear, I never once cheated or talked to them, he just couldnt get over the fact that it happened more than once. So ive been accused of cheating this entire time. Also, he never helped me prepare for the baby. I have bought everything baby has, he just now started buying things and they are only for him to use with baby. The one thing I asked him to buy for us both to use (car seat) he took away. Said I had to give him back the money or he was going to bring it over to his mom's. I ended up buying my own car seat while he has his, which makes no sense but ok. He's mad at me because I told him I dont think I want him in the delivery room with me. Since he hasn't been there in any other way, why be there at the end? He wants to claim that i just dont want him in there because we arent together and that i am being petty, but ive told him its so much more than that. Ill be at my most vulnerable during labor and wont feel comfortable relying on him (if he even offers any comfort or support during it). Ive also thought about not giving the baby his last name and he is mad about that. But I have felt no support from him this entire time. There is a tiny part of me that is sad that he wont be there, sad that things didnt turn out how i wished they had. & part of me feels bad that he will miss the birth of his son. I just dont know what to do and baby is due in 2 weeks. What would you guys do?
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We’re definitely in a similar situation. I definitely tried this whole time to give him a chance to be supportive and obviously we have different versions of that bc he thinks he has but he hasn’t . But now it’s gone too far and he will not be in the delivery room . I wanted him to I really did but sometime you have do what’s best for you . Child birth is such a vulnerable time and needs to be stress free . I’m due in 2 weeks too and have nothing for my son not even a car seat but I am learning that it sucks to be alone but there are plenty of resources that will help .
Do you have anyone else in your life that you could invite instead? Perhaps a mom, sister, or close friend? I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know I’m anxious about the delivery experience in general and if i were in your situation, I’d probably want to prioritize my peace and well being for a better outcome than just to try to have him there and hope hes a different person. Our life situations/relationships don’t always pan out the way we hoped or pictures them and that’s ok, choose whats best for you 🤍
Glad I’m not the only one and girl fuck that hoe no shade my soon to be ex husband is only my ride there and home after that he can get tf out my face and u think u should keep it that way too ima allow him to come visit to meet my son after that it’s like just get the hell away from me
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Would you let the father be in delivery room?
Hi, I'm struggling with deciding if I should let my babys father be in the delivery room. Our relationship started off decent, then we moved in together and its just went completely downhill. We arent even really together just living together. He sleeps on couch for the last couple months while I sleep in my bed. He has only ever been to one US appt. I had 3, invited him to the other 2, but because he was mad at me during those two, he didnt show up. He has maybe asked about baby twice, & once while he was drunk. He hasn't been there for me emotionally, and has pretty much stressed me out this entire pregnancy. Instead of worrying about the baby and me, he was constantly worrying about other guys on social media or exes that would randomly pop up in my messages. To be clear, I never once cheated or talked to them, he just couldnt get over the fact that it happened more than once. So ive been accused of cheating this entire time. Also, he never helped me prepare for the baby. I have bought everything baby has, he just now started buying things and they are only for him to use with baby. The one thing I asked him to buy for us both to use (car seat) he took away. Said I had to give him back the money or he was going to bring it over to his mom's. I ended up buying my own car seat while he has his, which makes no sense but ok. He's mad at me because I told him I dont think I want him in the delivery room with me. Since he hasn't been there in any other way, why be there at the end? He wants to claim that i just dont want him in there because we arent together and that i am being petty, but ive told him its so much more than that. Ill be at my most vulnerable during labor and wont feel comfortable relying on him (if he even offers any comfort or support during it). Ive also thought about not giving the baby his last name and he is mad about that. But I have felt no support from him this entire time. There is a tiny part of me that is sad that he wont be there, sad that things didnt turn out how i wished they had. & part of me feels bad that he will miss the birth of his son. I just dont know what to do and baby is due in 2 weeks. What would you guys do?
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