Is it normal to feel this way?

We had our second gorgeous boy on the 6th of October and I’m really feeling like the ‘main parent’. I absolutely adore being a mum to my two and my partner is great. The only thing is that our 3 year old is very attached to me, especially in the night if he wakes. For example, he woke last night and my partner went to his room to see him and he screams for me. Obviously I hate to hear it so I go in and my partner is with our newborn. He doesn’t even try and say he will sort it and then complains that our 3 year old only wants me. He didn’t go to sleep in his bed and I was with him for over an hour. Meanwhile my partner was with our newborn struggling to get him to settle because he wanted breastmilk. So I went up with my toddler who slept in the bed with me. My partner took our newborn downstairs to sleep on the sofa/moses basket for baby. Again, he didn’t settle because he wanted me. I just feel like I can’t win! I wish my partner would just be able to soothe our toddler but he doesn’t try hard enough and I can’t tell him that! He blames it on the fact that I breastfed him until he was 2.5 🙄 not the fact that he doesn’t actually try and soothe him when he screams for me. Anyway, my partner currently had an hour to sleep in without any children while I brought both downstairs, settled the baby and got breakfast for our toddler. 😴 sorry long rant but, is anyone else with 2 feeling this way?!

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I think it’s perfectly normal for your toddler to be more reliant on you given such a big change for them too.

My 3.5y/o is very much the same at the moment for bedtimes. Unfortunately if he doesn’t want his Dad then there is no settling without me and thats just the way it is.

Still waiting on my second to arrive but we have a similar situation that my daughter only wants me when she wakes up crying or needs putting to bed etc.

We have the opposite in the fact my partner tries absolutely everything to help but it's almost easier dealing with it yourself, because by the time he's dealt with it is way over an hour to get her to bed. I've had to result in pretending I'm asleep so that my daughter will let her dad put her to sleep 😂

I'm sure I'll be writing this same post in the next week because I honestly don't know how we are going to deal with it. You're doing such a great job though! Do you think your 3 year old will allow you to have baby on you while settling him to sleep etc? Because that's what I think I'm going to have to do

I co-slept with my first too but we changed things when I was 7 months pregnant. I moved to our bedroom while my husband slept with our 2.5-year-old. Initially he screamed for me for about an hour which was heartbreaking but I knew he was safe with his loving dad. It only took a few nights for him to adjust and soon he was proudly saying “I slept with daddy and mummy slept there!”
Now with our newborn we’ve kept the same arrangement. I think the key is not to go in when they cry for you as they’ll keep expecting you to come. Dad needs to offer lots of comfort and reassurance that they’re safe and mummy will be there in the morning. Explain that mummy is looking after the baby just as she looked after them when they were tiny. They understand so much more than we think and just need time to adjust ❤️
I honestly can’t imagine having both of them with me at night as it must be so exhausting! Good luck mumma ❤️

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Whelp

Well yesterday was my last straw... I woke up in the middle of the night to him telling our TWO MONTH OLD daughter to “shut the fuck up” because she was crying. I had barely gotten two hours of sleep myself so I got up and took her.

Later that morning I asked him to take her so I could get some sleep. He did but then crawled into bed and laid her between us. I rolled over because I was exhausted and he took her to the couch and said “Mom doesn't care.”

I rolled over looked at him and told him I wanted a divorce. I'm tired of being treated the way I am and I'm tired of putting up with it. And then he told ME to get out.

Soooo now I'm single momming it with my two month old daughter and living on my sister's couch. What a fucking time to be alive. 🙃

Anybody else have family around them but it’s like what’s the point?

I just need to get this off my chest. I bought dinner tonight for my family (siblings and mom) (*my husband is out of the country rn so it’s just me and my kids 🥺*) I have 2 under 2 (a 2 month old) and everyone’s eating except me because I’m changing a diaper. While I’m changing my 1 YO diaper my 2 month old starts screaming his head off in the bouncer. Nobody, NOBODY got up and picked my baby up KNOWING my hands were full. I almost cried in front of everyone. I didn’t even eat because of how pissed I was. After I finished changing the diaper, I picked my screaming 2 month old baby up and fed him and as SOON as he unlatched I gathered my 3 kids and got the hell out of there. Am I being too sensitive? There were 5 adults there, FIVE! 3 siblings, an in-law and my mother. Not one bothered to pick my screaming baby up 😭😭😭💔💔💔 I feel so alone. I feel like no one cares about me or how much I’m struggling right now.

We’re having trouble with tv addiction.

Any ideas on what tangible things I can do to help my child? Thanks