Issues with controlling parents (grandparents of baby)
💕 Does anyone else feel like their family is taking away the excitement of their first pregnancy? 😔
I'm currently pregnant with our first baby, and what should be one of the most exciting and special times in our lives is starting to feel quite upsetting and stressful because of my parents.
Don't get me wrong, we are incredibly grateful for everything they have offered to buy for our baby and their willingness to help with childcare. However, it feels like every offer of help comes with conditions and an expectation that they get a say in everything.
They told people about our pregnancy before we'd even had the chance to announce it ourselves, which really hurt because that was OUR news to share.
We also explained that there are certain things we would really like to choose and purchase ourselves for our first baby. We even gave them a list of the things that were important to us, only to be met with the response, "Who do you think you are?"
It's beginning to feel like because they're offering financial help and future childcare, they believe they're entitled to make decisions, overstep boundaries and say whatever they like.
This is our first baby, something my partner and I have been so excited to experience together. We want to enjoy choosing things, making plans and experiencing all those special firsts as parents.
Instead, I feel like we're constantly having to defend ourselves and our decisions.
I love my parents, and I genuinely appreciate their generosity, but I don't believe accepting help should mean giving up our right to make decisions about our own child.
I'm also starting to worry about what things will be like once the baby actually arrives if they're already struggling to respect our wishes now.
I feel guilty for being upset because I know we're fortunate to have family willing to help, but at the same time, I feel like our experience of becoming first-time parents is slowly being taken away from us. 💔
Has anyone else experienced this with their parents or in-laws? How did you manage to set boundaries without causing a massive family fallout?
I just want us to be able to enjoy this special chapter of our lives. 🥹💕
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I've had some issues with my parents crossing our boundaries but that was only after we had our baby. It's an ongoing issue. But they were amazing while I was pregnant, so all I can say is that you need to separate yourselves from them as much as possible ASAP because I can almost promise you it's only going to get worse.
I’m dealing with this on my in laws side and my MIL is basically acting like she’s doing nothing wrong by saying “I’m either all in or all out” like that in itself is a very manipulative statement lol.
I totally understand what ur going through and equally don’t understand why they can’t understand boundaries
Honestly I think you need to set firm boundaries now before the baby arrives. Just because someone helps you financially or buys things for baby doesn’t mean they get a say in how you raise your child. You and your partner are the parents, and your decisions need to be respected. I’d take a step back from anyone who keeps overstepping and stop explaining/justifying every decision, and let them know that if they can’t respect your boundaries they’ll have to accept some distance. You can appreciate everything someone does for you and still say no. Protect your peace and enjoy your first baby together because you only get these firsts once x
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Issues with controlling parents (grandparents of baby)
💕 Does anyone else feel like their family is taking away the excitement of their first pregnancy? 😔
I'm currently pregnant with our first baby, and what should be one of the most exciting and special times in our lives is starting to feel quite upsetting and stressful because of my parents.
Don't get me wrong, we are incredibly grateful for everything they have offered to buy for our baby and their willingness to help with childcare. However, it feels like every offer of help comes with conditions and an expectation that they get a say in everything.
They told people about our pregnancy before we'd even had the chance to announce it ourselves, which really hurt because that was OUR news to share.
We also explained that there are certain things we would really like to choose and purchase ourselves for our first baby. We even gave them a list of the things that were important to us, only to be met with the response, "Who do you think you are?"
It's beginning to feel like because they're offering financial help and future childcare, they believe they're entitled to make decisions, overstep boundaries and say whatever they like.
This is our first baby, something my partner and I have been so excited to experience together. We want to enjoy choosing things, making plans and experiencing all those special firsts as parents.
Instead, I feel like we're constantly having to defend ourselves and our decisions.
I love my parents, and I genuinely appreciate their generosity, but I don't believe accepting help should mean giving up our right to make decisions about our own child.
I'm also starting to worry about what things will be like once the baby actually arrives if they're already struggling to respect our wishes now.
I feel guilty for being upset because I know we're fortunate to have family willing to help, but at the same time, I feel like our experience of becoming first-time parents is slowly being taken away from us. 💔
Has anyone else experienced this with their parents or in-laws? How did you manage to set boundaries without causing a massive family fallout?
I just want us to be able to enjoy this special chapter of our lives. 🥹💕
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