is my husband incompetent or am i crazy?

i am a sahm that recently picked up a part time retail job to feel productive outside of my home. i work evenings after my husband is off and by the time i get home my girls (1&4) are sleep. this week i worked mon-wed evenings and i asked him today if they were bathed. he proceeds to tell me no he hasn’t bathed them all week because i didn’t ask him to. since when does your partner have to tell you to provide basic hygiene to your kids? he has before when i have worked so why is it a problem now? this is just so frustrating. i am truly so sick as a partner to him lately because of his incompetency with the most simple things. i have them all day and first thing i brush their teeth, make sure the baby has a clean diaper during the day. nobody would ever have to tell me to keep MY children sanitary. what would you do?

in our community

Complete mental breakdown

I'm a 30 year old ftm and took my little one (whos 17 weeks) out today as I needed to do some shopping. He'd been a bit fussy this morning but seemed to calm down before I took him. He was quiet while I went to a few shops then I decided to stop for lunch as I hadn't eaten today. I literally only said to the little one are you okay youve been a bit quiet then he erupted into a full-blown meltdown screaming even when I tried feeding, winding and rocking. Loads of people commented on it and I was just so embarrassed I'd only taken one bite out of my food and instantly left whilst bursting into tears and couldnt stop crying. It took a good nearly two hours to settle him meaning i couldnt go back out to pick up my partner. For context I've been feeling very anxious about going out with the little one unless it's a necessity and so haven't really been going out much. Ive also been really struggling feeling low and overwhelmed. Ive asked my partner to help more by taking baby for an hour in the morning and evening after he works but he just sits on his phone and has to be told to take the child when i need to go to the toilet or cook etc. He also got very annoyed when i called him out on it and today when I've asked him to make his own way home from work has essentially made me feel worse.

Im just hoping someone has some advice or something as i feel like today's breakdown has been slowing looming these past few weeks

He left us

I can’t be their dad. I’m just lost and confused. Last week we were craving pumpkins and decorating Halloween cookies, and before bed he kissed my head and told me how much fun he had and thanked me for giving him such a wonderful family. Two days later he’s telling me get the kids, pack our stuff, and leave. I was given one hour. He called the day after that and told me to come get the rest of my stuff, and when I got there he said I couldn’t take any of it actually, except the Christmas gift I spent $1k on for him, smashed to bits in the driveway. Today he told me he doesn’t want the kids for our agreed upon visitation. He told me he doesn’t need anyone and life is better alone.

I’ve been really worried about his mental state, so I called my friend to talk to her husband, his best friend, and he told me my husband told him they’re not friends anymore and made him come collect his things out of our garage (project cars and motorcycles and stuff). Said he didn’t know what was going on either but he didn’t want to talk to him about it because he suspects my husband has been drinking again. I did see a beer can in the kitchen the day before all this happened, but he said his other friend left it when he stopped by and I didn’t question it.

My friend is so confused and keeps saying how unhinged he’s being, because she’s newer to the group and didn’t know my husband when we were all in high school together and he had an alcohol problem. She just wants to hang out and have things back to normal.

Personally, after this week, I don’t even think I love him anymore. I’ve never had someone be so mean to me in my life…

What is wrong with me?

I have been struggling to get things done around the house, cooking, cleaning, laundry, even bathing my son is so hard to do, I don’t know what it is, I know I am not depressed, I’ve been depressed before and this is not it, I am the happiest I have ever been in life, I am a sahm with a loving partner and beautiful children, money is not an issue at the moment, I just don’t know what’s wrong, I look at the pile of dirty laundry or dishes and I dread it so much and I cant get around to doing it, it’s not like I don’t want to do it, i do want to do but I have to force myself to do these things, there is days where I am on top of everything and then there are days where I don’t want to do anything, I do the bare minimum because I and afraid my partner will get upset with me, and cooking omg sometimes I love cooking and it makes me happy to see my family enjoying dinner all of us eating together and then there are days where I hate the thought of cooking, I honestly don’t know what is wrong with me, is this normal? Does anybody else struggle with the same feelings?

I am deeply unhappy

I have everything anyone could ever dream of. A big house, a boy and a girl and a husband who supports us so that I can be a stay at home mum.

But all he does is work. He runs his own business. We moved to be next to his work and I told him he better not let it consume him. My mum divorced my dad because he worked non stop and didn’t make time for our family.

I feel like we’re heading the same way and he doesn’t care. I told him I can’t continue to live like this forever, with him working all day, all evening and he even wants me to entertain the kids on the weekend so he can catch up on work. He said it has to be done and we don’t have a choice. He has more money than he could ever spend because of family wealth so I admire his determination to continue with work even though he doesn’t have to. But my god I didn’t sign up for this. He used to be so fun and we’d always do stuff and now he doesn’t ever want to spend time with me and the kids.

I just don’t know where to turn. I feel so stuck. We don’t have sex anymore. I’m not into it because he’s just not into us. We put the kids to bed and he sits on his laptop working until 10pm and then I have to be up with the kids at 5:30 because he’s too tired from all the working. But I’m tired too. I just don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m stuck with this situation until death because I can almost guarantee he’ll never retire

Am I overreacting?

Today was my birthday and my boyfriend/father of my children acted like he forgot about it all day. He had me feeling very upset and hurt all day. He waited until I put the kids to bed to give me flowers, a card, money, cake, and some of my favorite candies. I can't tell if he remembered last minute or if he thought this would be funny. Either way I'm bothered that he made me cry on my birthday. Instead of arguing I just told him thank you, gave him a hug, and went to bed. Just trying to process if I'm overreacting??

Toys/Wake Windows

Any recommendations for toys/things to do during wake windows for 11 week old. Feeling like I’m not doing enough with what we have already thank you!☺️