Alone time

Moms!!! Idk what to do. My partner swears I need more social time ( & I do ) but when I take it, it’s an argument or I can only have a hr away like is this normal being a mom??? Should I just expect no time to myself ever again???

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Girl I feel you, it’s a catch 22. Damned if you do damnned if you don’t. And for the men it’s so easy to take time for themselves, just leave the house to do whatever, even simply using the bathroom in peace. For us as women they hardly ever consider what it takes from us in order for them to have that privilege. God forbid they have to be left to fend for themselves with the kids while you take a moment to recollect yourself! You’ve gotta be intentional which I know is hard, but like when baby is down for a nap or kids are at school. Take the time to relax, or do something you enjoy in the house. Or schedule yourself a doctors appointment, tell hubby you can’t take the kids and he needs to watch them and just go do something for yourself! Steal moments back. It’s hard being a mom and wife, I’m in my 1st year of being a wife, 11th year of being a mom and I swear being a wife just makes it harder sometimes

My only alone time is bedtime 😭

I would say it’s normal if he’s a new dad and you have a newborn or if he’s not confident looking after a baby for long periods of time. Looking at your profile you have a 4yr old though? I take a couple hrs out at night if invited out by gfs or I go to an event or drop by a friends house and hubby has never rushed me home, i mean most places by the time I get there and park it’s already been an hr, if I was only allowed an hr I’d never enjoy anything- last Sunday I was out at a dance event for 7hrs, 2hrs of that is driving there and back. Does your boy sleep through at 4yrs? Maybe take your breaks at night when he’s sleeping through or wakes only once. Why is he expecting you home so quick? Is he not confident w the child? The only answer to that is to go out more often, each time for longer periods. The reason I like to go at night is coz I’m 40mins from the big city I go in for night life and my boy has been sleep through since 18m.

in our community

Complete mental breakdown

I'm a 30 year old ftm and took my little one (whos 17 weeks) out today as I needed to do some shopping. He'd been a bit fussy this morning but seemed to calm down before I took him. He was quiet while I went to a few shops then I decided to stop for lunch as I hadn't eaten today. I literally only said to the little one are you okay youve been a bit quiet then he erupted into a full-blown meltdown screaming even when I tried feeding, winding and rocking. Loads of people commented on it and I was just so embarrassed I'd only taken one bite out of my food and instantly left whilst bursting into tears and couldnt stop crying. It took a good nearly two hours to settle him meaning i couldnt go back out to pick up my partner. For context I've been feeling very anxious about going out with the little one unless it's a necessity and so haven't really been going out much. Ive also been really struggling feeling low and overwhelmed. Ive asked my partner to help more by taking baby for an hour in the morning and evening after he works but he just sits on his phone and has to be told to take the child when i need to go to the toilet or cook etc. He also got very annoyed when i called him out on it and today when I've asked him to make his own way home from work has essentially made me feel worse.

Im just hoping someone has some advice or something as i feel like today's breakdown has been slowing looming these past few weeks

He left us

I can’t be their dad. I’m just lost and confused. Last week we were craving pumpkins and decorating Halloween cookies, and before bed he kissed my head and told me how much fun he had and thanked me for giving him such a wonderful family. Two days later he’s telling me get the kids, pack our stuff, and leave. I was given one hour. He called the day after that and told me to come get the rest of my stuff, and when I got there he said I couldn’t take any of it actually, except the Christmas gift I spent $1k on for him, smashed to bits in the driveway. Today he told me he doesn’t want the kids for our agreed upon visitation. He told me he doesn’t need anyone and life is better alone.

I’ve been really worried about his mental state, so I called my friend to talk to her husband, his best friend, and he told me my husband told him they’re not friends anymore and made him come collect his things out of our garage (project cars and motorcycles and stuff). Said he didn’t know what was going on either but he didn’t want to talk to him about it because he suspects my husband has been drinking again. I did see a beer can in the kitchen the day before all this happened, but he said his other friend left it when he stopped by and I didn’t question it.

My friend is so confused and keeps saying how unhinged he’s being, because she’s newer to the group and didn’t know my husband when we were all in high school together and he had an alcohol problem. She just wants to hang out and have things back to normal.

Personally, after this week, I don’t even think I love him anymore. I’ve never had someone be so mean to me in my life…

What is wrong with me?

I have been struggling to get things done around the house, cooking, cleaning, laundry, even bathing my son is so hard to do, I don’t know what it is, I know I am not depressed, I’ve been depressed before and this is not it, I am the happiest I have ever been in life, I am a sahm with a loving partner and beautiful children, money is not an issue at the moment, I just don’t know what’s wrong, I look at the pile of dirty laundry or dishes and I dread it so much and I cant get around to doing it, it’s not like I don’t want to do it, i do want to do but I have to force myself to do these things, there is days where I am on top of everything and then there are days where I don’t want to do anything, I do the bare minimum because I and afraid my partner will get upset with me, and cooking omg sometimes I love cooking and it makes me happy to see my family enjoying dinner all of us eating together and then there are days where I hate the thought of cooking, I honestly don’t know what is wrong with me, is this normal? Does anybody else struggle with the same feelings?

I am deeply unhappy

I have everything anyone could ever dream of. A big house, a boy and a girl and a husband who supports us so that I can be a stay at home mum.

But all he does is work. He runs his own business. We moved to be next to his work and I told him he better not let it consume him. My mum divorced my dad because he worked non stop and didn’t make time for our family.

I feel like we’re heading the same way and he doesn’t care. I told him I can’t continue to live like this forever, with him working all day, all evening and he even wants me to entertain the kids on the weekend so he can catch up on work. He said it has to be done and we don’t have a choice. He has more money than he could ever spend because of family wealth so I admire his determination to continue with work even though he doesn’t have to. But my god I didn’t sign up for this. He used to be so fun and we’d always do stuff and now he doesn’t ever want to spend time with me and the kids.

I just don’t know where to turn. I feel so stuck. We don’t have sex anymore. I’m not into it because he’s just not into us. We put the kids to bed and he sits on his laptop working until 10pm and then I have to be up with the kids at 5:30 because he’s too tired from all the working. But I’m tired too. I just don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m stuck with this situation until death because I can almost guarantee he’ll never retire

Am I overreacting?

Today was my birthday and my boyfriend/father of my children acted like he forgot about it all day. He had me feeling very upset and hurt all day. He waited until I put the kids to bed to give me flowers, a card, money, cake, and some of my favorite candies. I can't tell if he remembered last minute or if he thought this would be funny. Either way I'm bothered that he made me cry on my birthday. Instead of arguing I just told him thank you, gave him a hug, and went to bed. Just trying to process if I'm overreacting??

Toys/Wake Windows

Any recommendations for toys/things to do during wake windows for 11 week old. Feeling like I’m not doing enough with what we have already thank you!☺️